I Guess
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Originally Posted by luckyv2
Nope I am not giving in, I am not going to give my disease even a little crack to come back right now. I was scared to death last night. I know that if I don't give it any lead I won't get hurt. I am feeling much better right now, I woke up a little late but right now I am feeling a little bit better physically and mentally. I haven't been to a NA Meeting since my relapse but have been going to my home group here since my relapse (AA meeting). The only reason that I picked this group is because they meet everyday here where most of the other meetings don't have a meeting everyday.
I am doing things completely different I have noticed. I don't sit where I have always sat, now I am sitting right there with the old timers. I know what I have to do, and by God I am going to get it done. I am not going to give in, I am NOT. I think that this last relapse that I had has really been an eye opener for me. I have looked at my behaviour for the past 4 years in the program and have seen what I have done, and why it hasn't worked. Yet it has worked but I know that there are somethings that I need to change and earlier I was not willing to change those things. Now those things are not important to me, sobriety is. If I have to give up everything to have sobriety then that is what it takes.
I have 3 days but like I have always said it is what I do today that is going to impact my tomorrow if I even have a tomorrow. I am so glad that I am alive. I am so grateful that I have YOU Guys & Gals, I am so grateful that I have my sponsor and the program. So time to buckle down and get to living I am not willing to die right now.
I am doing things completely different I have noticed. I don't sit where I have always sat, now I am sitting right there with the old timers. I know what I have to do, and by God I am going to get it done. I am not going to give in, I am NOT. I think that this last relapse that I had has really been an eye opener for me. I have looked at my behaviour for the past 4 years in the program and have seen what I have done, and why it hasn't worked. Yet it has worked but I know that there are somethings that I need to change and earlier I was not willing to change those things. Now those things are not important to me, sobriety is. If I have to give up everything to have sobriety then that is what it takes.
I have 3 days but like I have always said it is what I do today that is going to impact my tomorrow if I even have a tomorrow. I am so glad that I am alive. I am so grateful that I have YOU Guys & Gals, I am so grateful that I have my sponsor and the program. So time to buckle down and get to living I am not willing to die right now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Anywhere,USA
Posts: 511
Try again tomorrow Vic.
Keep comming back.
Keep posting, keep telling us whats going on...
****{hugs}}}
Call your sponsor.
Go to a meeting.
Go to treatment if you can't do this on your own...
I couldn't...I never would have quit without treatment...
Asking for help is not being weak, it's doing the next right thing.
It's a wise decision.
It's a good investment in yourself.
You are worth it.
Keep comming back.
Keep posting, keep telling us whats going on...
****{hugs}}}
Call your sponsor.
Go to a meeting.
Go to treatment if you can't do this on your own...
I couldn't...I never would have quit without treatment...
Asking for help is not being weak, it's doing the next right thing.
It's a wise decision.
It's a good investment in yourself.
You are worth it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: state of confusion..
Posts: 358
Hey Vic..."**** it. Yeah. But **** what? **** THE ADDICTION! I am fighting it EVERYDAY. I have ZERO clean days, but you know what? I SOON will have. You're way ahead of me ALREADY. Fight the good fight.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
Vic...
Sometimes... we have to keep doing something until the pain of doing it is greater than the pain of not doing it...
And all the reasoning in the world ain't gonna stop us....
All I can say to you is that ... as long as you are willing to communicate about it... and work through it with those that have gone through it as well...
well.. I believe you will again walk the sober ground...
Life gets us down .. yes....
And sometimes we use cause we just don't know any other way to cope...
can't say **** it though.. ;o)
that is wrong talk...
Read...
write..
talk to us here...
call your sponsor..
talk to God... tell him your woes...
ask him for help...
.. and go back to step 1.
Even if your swimmin in the problem.. don't mean you can't put one or two fingers on the solution to try and pull yourself out...
Sometimes... we have to keep doing something until the pain of doing it is greater than the pain of not doing it...
And all the reasoning in the world ain't gonna stop us....
All I can say to you is that ... as long as you are willing to communicate about it... and work through it with those that have gone through it as well...
well.. I believe you will again walk the sober ground...
Life gets us down .. yes....
And sometimes we use cause we just don't know any other way to cope...
can't say **** it though.. ;o)
that is wrong talk...
Read...
write..
talk to us here...
call your sponsor..
talk to God... tell him your woes...
ask him for help...
.. and go back to step 1.
Even if your swimmin in the problem.. don't mean you can't put one or two fingers on the solution to try and pull yourself out...
Peace begins with a smile
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 173
Actually, no, you don't guess..
Your disease doesn't guess either. IT WANTS you dead. Sober or dead. Those are your choices. This isn't a game where you're guessing you might use again and be able to make it back here or the halls of AA/NA...FACT is, you don't know if this might be your last chance.....
Put it down. Kick your disease out for a moment. And get your ass to a meeting. Raise your hand and seriously consider the rehab idea..
Most importantly, take care of yourself
Anna
Your disease doesn't guess either. IT WANTS you dead. Sober or dead. Those are your choices. This isn't a game where you're guessing you might use again and be able to make it back here or the halls of AA/NA...FACT is, you don't know if this might be your last chance.....
Put it down. Kick your disease out for a moment. And get your ass to a meeting. Raise your hand and seriously consider the rehab idea..
Most importantly, take care of yourself
Anna
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Newark,DE
Posts: 404
Hey Vic,
We're all with ya, man, try it again. We have all been there. I dont think for a minute that 3 weeks means I'm done with it. BUt thanks to my friends here, I know if I do slip, it will not be as bad or as long as it was before.
Same for you, just get up , dust yourself off, and get back in there!!!
Steve
We're all with ya, man, try it again. We have all been there. I dont think for a minute that 3 weeks means I'm done with it. BUt thanks to my friends here, I know if I do slip, it will not be as bad or as long as it was before.
Same for you, just get up , dust yourself off, and get back in there!!!
Steve
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
Vic,
**** It !!!
That's actually the short form serenity prayer. How I was taught.
Kind of like surrender, you comprehend it for whatever it is.
Many tool was pass on to me.
" I can start my day over again anytime I want"
From the story of the dream giver.
Ordinary ask/pray for the Dreamgiver to remove the uncomfortable
feelings (fears, shame, remose, not being good enough).
The dreamgive didn't remove those fears.
Why ??...why??? why?, Ordinary said over and over again.
Ordinary" I can't do this, i can't follow my dream with all these fears inside of me. I can't bare it"
Dreamgiver " YES YOU CAN", "take courage"
Ordinary learned inspite of his pains and fears he can step forward.
His dreams was bigger than his fears. Ordinary choose to follow his
dream. He took courage and follow the dreamgiver.
**** It !!!
That's actually the short form serenity prayer. How I was taught.
Kind of like surrender, you comprehend it for whatever it is.
Many tool was pass on to me.
" I can start my day over again anytime I want"
From the story of the dream giver.
Ordinary ask/pray for the Dreamgiver to remove the uncomfortable
feelings (fears, shame, remose, not being good enough).
The dreamgive didn't remove those fears.
Why ??...why??? why?, Ordinary said over and over again.
Ordinary" I can't do this, i can't follow my dream with all these fears inside of me. I can't bare it"
Dreamgiver " YES YOU CAN", "take courage"
Ordinary learned inspite of his pains and fears he can step forward.
His dreams was bigger than his fears. Ordinary choose to follow his
dream. He took courage and follow the dreamgiver.
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