nicholelleoleo

Hi. I just joined this forum because I am looking for some advice and I guess just need someone to talk to about this. I am 26 years old. My dad is an alcoholic. He lost his job last June because he got a drunk driving. I have not seen him sober since that day in June. 3 weeks ago, he was put in the hospital. He had been throwing up blood and the next day fell down and knocked him self out. HE broke his shoulder. He laid there for 2 days and thank god someone decided to check on him and found him on his floor of his house naked. He was checked in to the hospital. He has pancreatitis, enlarged liver, bleeding ulcers all over his esophogus, a broken shoulder and a few other things wrong with him. He is a diabetic and has not taken care of himself for the last 5 years. He is divorced and is alone a lot. We transfered him to a better hospital and he's doing better. He is going into the substance abuse program for 21 days on Tuesday. He on his own decided to go I think. I love my Dad and he has been an excellent father. I just feel so bad and I'm trying to understand what he is going through. Has anyone ever been through one of these programs? How can I be supportive? Like what do I say? I am so confused on this. Please help me out.

miss communicat

(((Nichole)))

WELCOME to our community. So sorry to hear you have to go through this with your dad. Others will be by soon also to offer you some input, but, another great place to post is over at the "Friends and Family" threads. Check them out. You could probably benefit alot from learning about other families with similar difficulties.

Have you heard of or been to Alanon? I would consider that for YOU. Good luck, keep sharing here

Etimee

Hi, welcome to this board and I am so sorry for your pain. I am glad you are here, that is an important step in helping yourself and finding some support for yourself. Have you ever gone to an Alanon or Adult Children of Alcoholic's meeting?

I think the best way to help him right now is to help yourself and you've taken the right step by coming here!

Check this site out in your area and see if you can perhaps attend an Alanon meeting there ...-> http://www.communitysubstanceabuse.com/

You and your father will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs,

Etimee

Slowbriety

unless you are an alki yourself you wont ever understand fully what he is going through, all you can do is be there for him and just look to him as a sick person trying to get well.


its kinda scary, my father is a diabetic that dosent take care of himself, is divorced and lives alone, and drink just like i did when i was drinking. but its his life, all i can do is pray for him and trust in God.

13NRcrew

Hi and welcome to SR, I'm new here myself.

Yes, I've been though one of those programs (several actually, but that's another stroy). I don't know what would be helpful for your father. What was most helpful for me was to completely unplug myself from everyone and just immerse myself in the structured programme. Phone calls were ok, but visitors had a way of making me wish I could leave with them. Some people need the support of loved ones from home in order to make it through an inpatient (IP) programme. I was not one of those kinds of people.

Like Etimee said, the best way you can help is to work on yourself while he's in there. A lot of people are afraid to get out of IP because of the lack of structure and supportive environment. Learn the best way to take care of yourself and what you can do to be supportive when he gets out.

I hope everything works out ok.

Jupiter2

Hi Nichole,

You can't fix him, he has to want recovery. It sounds like he is taking the first steps. I know exactly how you feel. My father drank like a fish until last year, ended up with cancer of the pancreas (terminal illness) and is now fighting it with chemo. I am an alcoholic myself with a year sober. Many times I found him passed out in his car in the garage (once with the engine running), had the garage door replaced when he drove his car through it, and put up with him in various stages of drunkeness since my mother died in '99. We can't fix them, just try to support them. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost.

Have you thought about alanon? I believe there is a forum here on SR.

My thoughts and parayers are with you and your dad. I know how it is.

Jup.