trying again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: arvada colorado
Posts: 3
trying again
Well, here I am, trying to stop drinking again. I had 6 years of sobriety, hanging out with the "AA elite" going on retreats, all that good stuff. joined the catholic church and got married. that lasted all of 2 years, and then i started drinking again. Now i've been more or less on a steady bender for 5 years. I still manage to keep my job and a mostly normal appearing life, but really i am depressed and whipped totally by alcohol. I also have the problem of not believing in God or AA rhetoric. I admire the 12 steps (i did the work!) but i cant find it in my heart to believe in god, and aa is full of crap most of the time in my opinion, but i have to admit i crave the fellowship of people like me who understand this problem. anyway, i am using naltrexone to curb the cravings, and that was working for a while, but now its not. i have 1 day of sobriety and i feel.........lost and sad and old and like i've let myself and everyone around me down. my life is a mess and i needed to get all of this out of my head and written down and this seemed like the place to do it. any words of encouragement would be appreciated. thanks and good luck to all you other newcomers.
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Hi, Venbear;
And welcome to SR!
I hope you find your way again. And this is a great place to start. You know when you do the work, you are sober. Only you can make the choice to do it or not. We're here for you when you're ready.
There's lots of good folks over on the alcoholism or the AA forums. Why not give it a shot and post there.
I hope to see you here often as we both grow in our recovery.
Shalom!
And welcome to SR!
I hope you find your way again. And this is a great place to start. You know when you do the work, you are sober. Only you can make the choice to do it or not. We're here for you when you're ready.
There's lots of good folks over on the alcoholism or the AA forums. Why not give it a shot and post there.
I hope to see you here often as we both grow in our recovery.
Shalom!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi there , welcome to SR! My name is Lee and I too, am an alkie
AA has been my chosen method of recovery, andit workds for me, but there are people here who use other methods and I am sure they will be along shortly to share their experiences with you .
Whichever method you choose, it is a CHOICE and there is , as you know , work to be done .
I wish you well
HUGX
lee
AA has been my chosen method of recovery, andit workds for me, but there are people here who use other methods and I am sure they will be along shortly to share their experiences with you .
Whichever method you choose, it is a CHOICE and there is , as you know , work to be done .
I wish you well
HUGX
lee
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hello....
See if this link will help...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nfo-76726.html
Welcome to our community...
See if this link will help...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nfo-76726.html
Welcome to our community...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: arvada colorado
Posts: 3
just want to thank you guys for responding. i am totally insomniac-ed out now with no booze in my veins, so i'm still up surfing. it looks like there's a meeting for Life Ring on mondays here where i live, seems thier approach is a little more up my alley so to speak. never heard of them before tonight. thanks again and i will come back to share how this goes.
BitSizeDayz
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Pretoria ZA
Posts: 56
Well to you Hope you get to read this B4 ur next bindge!!!
AA works for me and I dont believe in "GOD" dont belong to any church or any of that
stuff(would use harder words but dont know if i'm aloud)
Maybe you should try it again (AA) but this time stay away from the "AA elite" and be the comon man in the comon group and use like i do the gruop as my "Higher Power"
Please i'm not religish but spirtual. The differance is that religion is for people who not want to go to HELL. Spirtualism is for people who have been to HELL and dont want to go back. and that my friend is me
Rob McC
AA works for me and I dont believe in "GOD" dont belong to any church or any of that
stuff(would use harder words but dont know if i'm aloud)
Maybe you should try it again (AA) but this time stay away from the "AA elite" and be the comon man in the comon group and use like i do the gruop as my "Higher Power"
Please i'm not religish but spirtual. The differance is that religion is for people who not want to go to HELL. Spirtualism is for people who have been to HELL and dont want to go back. and that my friend is me
Rob McC
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Montana
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by venbear
Well, here I am, trying to stop drinking again. I had 6 years of sobriety, hanging out with the "AA elite" going on retreats, all that good stuff. joined the catholic church and got married. that lasted all of 2 years, and then i started drinking again. Now i've been more or less on a steady bender for 5 years. .
No one said we have to like everything we hear. No one said we have to believe everything we hear either. I know I sure in the heck did not like everyone in the bars nor everything I heard in the bars but I kept going back.. day after day, week after week, year after year.. The rewards from that were not pleasant.
we seem far more willing to put up with all kinds of crap when we are killing ourselves -- yet the insanity that comes with this disease works over time in our heads when we are trying to save our own lives. We can find every excuse in the book to stay sick.
Whatever way you choose - if it works - is a good thing. We have to just keep at it..
PS.. where are these ilete in AA?? I have been sober in AA for 25 years and have not met them.. ( smile)
Linda C.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 307
Hi Venbear,
I have a year of sobriety after about an 8 year bender. I too was in AA years ago, got a sponsor, worked the steps through starting step 4 and then went out (for about 15 years). Back in early last year. I understand what you mean by an AA "elite". I have come to believe that I am much better off with AA, "elite" members and all, than without (and in fact finished my fifth step on Saturday with my new sponsor). There are all types in AA, many of them don't push the rhetoric, do work the steps, and are truly kind and caring. There are different approaches to working the steps and they run the gammut. I would say, try AA and look for someone who is sober, has worked the steps, and has the kind of sobriety and approach to life you can relate to. My second sponsor is much lower key than my first one. He does work the steps, etc., just does it in a way that is less "in your face" and more in keeping with the way I feel comfortable with.
Keep looking, you'll find what you need if you are working to work hard at it and it doesnt' have to be AA. I have found that the "fellowship" is perhaps the thing that keeps me coming back to AA (although, I did feel quite a weight off of my shoulders after doing the 5th step with my sponsor). Don't give up.
Jup.
I have a year of sobriety after about an 8 year bender. I too was in AA years ago, got a sponsor, worked the steps through starting step 4 and then went out (for about 15 years). Back in early last year. I understand what you mean by an AA "elite". I have come to believe that I am much better off with AA, "elite" members and all, than without (and in fact finished my fifth step on Saturday with my new sponsor). There are all types in AA, many of them don't push the rhetoric, do work the steps, and are truly kind and caring. There are different approaches to working the steps and they run the gammut. I would say, try AA and look for someone who is sober, has worked the steps, and has the kind of sobriety and approach to life you can relate to. My second sponsor is much lower key than my first one. He does work the steps, etc., just does it in a way that is less "in your face" and more in keeping with the way I feel comfortable with.
Keep looking, you'll find what you need if you are working to work hard at it and it doesnt' have to be AA. I have found that the "fellowship" is perhaps the thing that keeps me coming back to AA (although, I did feel quite a weight off of my shoulders after doing the 5th step with my sponsor). Don't give up.
Jup.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Originally Posted by venbear
just want to thank you guys for responding. i am totally insomniac-ed out now with no booze in my veins, so i'm still up surfing. it looks like there's a meeting for Life Ring on mondays here where i live, seems thier approach is a little more up my alley so to speak. never heard of them before tonight. thanks again and i will come back to share how this goes.
Glad you're here, venbear. Welcome to SR!
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
((( Venbear)))
Welcome, I did the same after 6yrs, took ten to get 2 back, and than again a relapse. I feel for you and I know what your saying. It's only our rotten disease that does not want you to have faith or fellowship. You don't haveto have faith in g*d, he has faith in you. Go back to your people, they love you.
Bless, Trish
Welcome, I did the same after 6yrs, took ten to get 2 back, and than again a relapse. I feel for you and I know what your saying. It's only our rotten disease that does not want you to have faith or fellowship. You don't haveto have faith in g*d, he has faith in you. Go back to your people, they love you.
Bless, Trish
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in the present moment
Posts: 2,060
Hi Venbear!
I too am glad you are here, glad you are exploring various approaches to recovery, and hope that you stay a while and share what you learn with us.
For me, I also had good AA time and 16 years of sobriety in the past, before going back to drinking. I came back in in Dec 2005, so its almost 90 days sober again now.
I am working really hard at staying with AA, and what Linda C said earlier has just helped. That when we are drinking, there are probably lots of characters we don't much like in the bars, but that fact never stood in the way of our drinking.
That helps me to use the essence of AA, the 12 steps, and not to get distracted by anything else.
My spirituality may be different than many peoples' in the rooms, but THAT is not at issue. The fact that I am actually MORE in touch with my faith/spiritual values AT ALL as a result of sobriety than I was when I drank is what I focus on.
I'm totally openminded about method of sobriety. Many paths.....one truth. I wish you the very best!!!!
I too am glad you are here, glad you are exploring various approaches to recovery, and hope that you stay a while and share what you learn with us.
For me, I also had good AA time and 16 years of sobriety in the past, before going back to drinking. I came back in in Dec 2005, so its almost 90 days sober again now.
I am working really hard at staying with AA, and what Linda C said earlier has just helped. That when we are drinking, there are probably lots of characters we don't much like in the bars, but that fact never stood in the way of our drinking.
That helps me to use the essence of AA, the 12 steps, and not to get distracted by anything else.
My spirituality may be different than many peoples' in the rooms, but THAT is not at issue. The fact that I am actually MORE in touch with my faith/spiritual values AT ALL as a result of sobriety than I was when I drank is what I focus on.
I'm totally openminded about method of sobriety. Many paths.....one truth. I wish you the very best!!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Hi Venbear, I'm glad that you are here! Be proud of yourself for finding your way back to recovery again. There is nothing but pain out there and I don't want you to go through any more suffering. Hang on to hope and never stop believing that you deserve a better life. We are here for you now and always and you have 24/7 support here at SR! AA is great for the fellowship and you get the strength from being around others who have been where you are. It is something in that bond that is so encouraging.
I know you can do it! We are here for you!!
I know you can do it! We are here for you!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: arvada colorado
Posts: 3
thanks again for all the support guys. i am not running to any meetings like my butts on fire; maybe i should be, but i spent the day with my daughter running errands and such. i go back to work tomorrow. i feel pretty exhausted tonight after only 5 hours of sleep last night, but i did not drink today, and when i felt the urge to tonight, i came upstairs and started hanging out here, and i feel better now after reading all of your kind words. i really just want to go to bed. so thats what im gonna do. thanks !
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