quietsins

well..... here's the long and short of things.

after years of SR... my SO is now in recovery... seeing life thru sober eyes... and a total joy to me.

what is wrong is... my thesis paper. I started it when I realized that there are a whole world of kids out there living in alcoholic situations and they dont have any support.

I am over half way done with my thesis... but... well, damn.... I am kind of jammed up mentally in getting it done.

Somehow my insecurities of not being smart enough to finish a Masters degree thesis have surfaced and I am finding it easier to not work on it... than to risk possible criticism.

'sigh'

I have worked so hard, I know what to write, I know what to do, and I write well... why cant I do it?

It has to be done by St. Patricks Day so I can graduate by the 4th of July and finish my orals in April.

any words of wisdom?
quietsins

mallowcup

fear is dictating your life because success is something new to you, pride in yourself is something new to you. I am a pediatic nurse for one reason, is it a curse or a blessing? You can change lives, you can dry tears, you can be a voice, a hug that someone needs and won't get unless you are there to do it. If one childs life is changed or inspired, you will have made a difference. The "smarter" we get and the more educated we get, the more humble we become in realizing we are limited. God has put you here for a reason and you have wondered what that reason was, you are about to find out. You are scared because you are realizing that with this degree comes a responsibility. Welcome to your purpose.

ICU

How would you approach this if you 'didn't' have any fear? If you believed you were smart enough? If you didn't feel you were risking criticism?

Some would say "fake it till you make it"; I prefer "faith it till you make it"!!

equus

Ooooooo... Spooky!! I remember a good friend doing a geology phd who said ALMOST exactly the same thing, not so different to what I felt half way through my final year (undergraduate) degree, strangley similar to my mates certain conclusion she would fail her nursing course (she passed!!), in fact I think it may be quite common!!

I'm not playing it down though, it's hard to put so much into something you care about then hand it to be marked!! I reckon it's understandable 100% to feel uncertainty. As for answers - I dunno, all the people I mentioned got through it, eventually kicked themselves up the butt and continued despite the fear. One person I know didn't he drank instead and a decade later is still struggling with that same feeling, see even though he left it, he still cared about it and ever since has picked it up and put it down. Seems till he goes through it he ain't gonna be happy leaving it either!

So here's a butt kick! You know the answer is to pull out the books, sit down and take the risk!!

Gabe

Quiet, you get your sassy lil' ass in gear and finish that paper.
St. Patrick's Day and The Fourth of July are my favorite holidays.
I want to have your additional good news to celebrate on those days.
Seriously, just keep your eye on the prize.
You're almost there.
When it gets hard, visualize yourself already being done and the rewarding feelings that will come with that.
You can do it Quiet I'm rooting for you.

splendra

No need to sabatoge yourself now...let go of that fatalistic thinking(((QS))) and get your butt working on that paper...

bahookie

I've done exactly the same thing.
Mine came from fear of failure. I'd never failed anything in my life, so if I pushed myself into a hard task I might fail and the illusion would be over.

Stretching yourself needs some courage, I'm sure you have it

Jane
xxx
Ps It all worked out in the end, by the way, but I did get a wee lesson in humility - I failed a maths exam and almost fainted. Still not sure if it was bloody-mindedness or hurt pride that sent me back in to the resit!

Pick-a-name

You have gone through alot to learn first-hand what you know. There IS a need for what you are writing your paper on.......I have been a "half-way house" of sorts for many fine children over the years that have been the innocent victim of a parent's addiction. THEY need a voice; that is why you picked this topic.

You are like a well-trained athelete coming to the end of the race.........don't give up now. Reach deep inside to push yourself on across that finish line.........you will be so very proud of yourself when you do! You've worked hard for this, don't short-change yourself! You CAN do this thing!

(((quietsins)))

Cynay

No question about it... happens to the best of us. I felt the same way right before taking the 6 hour series 7 test...

But I have to Agree with the rest, not only can you do it and be sucessful .... but what your writing about NEEDS to be told.... So look at it this way, are you going to let your fear keep you from helping the ones that will be helped by this???

susane1408

Quietsins can I have your finishing of your thesis for my birthday present pretty please?
It's on St Patricks day!!
And it's Aquiana's birthday too.
Lets have a BIG party!!!

pmaslan

Just what you to know I am listening......I know you will get through it
and most likely with time to spare.......

GettingBy

I think that's a fairly common feeling for everyone I've known, myself included. I completely freaked out at the end of my Masters'. I had 95% of the thesis written, and then all of a sudden I decided to quit and move to Maryland to be with my sister. I was *this* close... so why quit? Fear was absolutely the main reason. My advisor was an unbelievably critical person, so some of the fear was justified... but enough to run away? No way!

The secret to finally going back and wrapping it up? Accepting that I could not and would not write the perfect paper. I remember taking the final copy to my advisor (this was after she already had 3-4 chances to "edit" and make all of her nit-picky changes), I put it on her desk and kindly asked her to sign it. Enough was enough. I need to close this chapter of my life so I could get on with living. It was so exhilerating to take the final copy to the Graduate office.

Some thoughts... if you haven't had anyone read it yet, maybe now is the time? Have someone who you feel comfortable with read it. Get their thoughts... make sure your thought process is headed in a good direction. If I remember correctly almost all of my major "mistakes" were found and corrected in my advisor's first review.... and that's what she was there for... to find my mistakes and help guide me in the right direction. I had to constantly remind myself that I was a student, I was there to learn, no one expected me to have all the answers. Heck, my professors didn't have all of the answers so how was I suppose to? Right?

No one expects you to be perfect, or write the perfect paper. The point of a Masters is to develop a theory... and then research it. There's no right or wrong answer... just a paper discussing your thought process.

Best of luck to you!
Shannon