Bi-Polar and Alcoholism
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Bi-Polar and Alcoholism
Elizabeth you got me thinking about this from my previous post.
I know my ex is bi-polar. Let me back this up a bit. No, I am not
a professional, but when you read as much as I do on the subject and
live with an active specimen you just know.
John would cycle between elation and depression when he wasn't drinking.
You know during his 30 day sobriety plan every few months or more.
It was hard to tell if he was sober or manic. I'd ask him "Have you been drinking?" He'd say he wasn't, just in a good mood. The good moods however, never lasted as long as the depressed unfortunately. He did not seek meds for this, still hasn't he said.
So I guess that is why I have often been confused as to his total condition.
Is he drunk or is he manic?
So you see I really question his "condition" when he called last week.
Was he drunk or was he manic, either way he sounds the same. Behaviour is the same. If I don't want to tolerate the drinking issue and him not addressing it, why on earth would I want to tolerate the bi-polar issue with him NOT addressing it. For him it is the same behavior, Drunk/Manic
Hungover/Depressed. Whatever HIS problem is, he is not dealing with it as I see it from this side of the street.
My point here is that the two illnesses have distinctive similarities for him and he continues to live with both sets of demons!!!!
It is certainly a whole different way to look at it.
Now I know why I like my up close and personal interactions....
at least the smell of alcohol would give way to who/whom I was dealing with.
I know my ex is bi-polar. Let me back this up a bit. No, I am not
a professional, but when you read as much as I do on the subject and
live with an active specimen you just know.
John would cycle between elation and depression when he wasn't drinking.
You know during his 30 day sobriety plan every few months or more.
It was hard to tell if he was sober or manic. I'd ask him "Have you been drinking?" He'd say he wasn't, just in a good mood. The good moods however, never lasted as long as the depressed unfortunately. He did not seek meds for this, still hasn't he said.
So I guess that is why I have often been confused as to his total condition.
Is he drunk or is he manic?
So you see I really question his "condition" when he called last week.
Was he drunk or was he manic, either way he sounds the same. Behaviour is the same. If I don't want to tolerate the drinking issue and him not addressing it, why on earth would I want to tolerate the bi-polar issue with him NOT addressing it. For him it is the same behavior, Drunk/Manic
Hungover/Depressed. Whatever HIS problem is, he is not dealing with it as I see it from this side of the street.
My point here is that the two illnesses have distinctive similarities for him and he continues to live with both sets of demons!!!!
It is certainly a whole different way to look at it.
Now I know why I like my up close and personal interactions....
at least the smell of alcohol would give way to who/whom I was dealing with.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
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Patty, something I have learnt about myself and boundaries is that there is a huge difference between supporting someone who is seeking help for their problems and trying to force someone to get help when they won't help themselves. And that goes for any disease/illness/disorder/"issues".
Not my job to be doctor, nurse, therapist and parent.
Not my job to be doctor, nurse, therapist and parent.
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You know, I wondered about Dan and the possibility of bi-polar for a long while. I came to the same exact conclusion. If he isnt addressing something in his life that is causing me trouble, then it made little difference as to what the problem was, mania or drinking.
I will tell you, when I stopped questioning which condition I was dealing with, was when it came to me. He has a condition which interferes with my life. I think the symptoms of alcoholism and bi-polar disorders are seemingly similar.
This is key!
I will tell you, when I stopped questioning which condition I was dealing with, was when it came to me. He has a condition which interferes with my life. I think the symptoms of alcoholism and bi-polar disorders are seemingly similar.
Hungover/Depressed. Whatever HIS problem is, he is not dealing with it as I see it from this side of the street.
My point here is that the two illnesses have distinctive similarities for him and he continues to live with both sets of demons!!!!
My point here is that the two illnesses have distinctive similarities for him and he continues to live with both sets of demons!!!!
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The other thing i forgot to mention...Continued long term alcoholism will cause brain damage I have read. Alot of the late stage alcoholism brain malfunctions, if you will, So, I also wonder if he had just damaged his brain so badly and killed so many brain cells (I mean with no malice) that he was just not able to function properly.
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Obviously all are dead...lol for him to choose this life instead of sobriety/mental health.
I have heard this about brain cells dying from too much alcohol.
I guess through my self realization, I am realizing more about him.
Kind of helps me to put things in perspective.
Minnie you are so right not my job....I have enough of a job on my hands right now with these 2 teenage freeloaders......lol
I have heard this about brain cells dying from too much alcohol.
I guess through my self realization, I am realizing more about him.
Kind of helps me to put things in perspective.
Minnie you are so right not my job....I have enough of a job on my hands right now with these 2 teenage freeloaders......lol
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SE, I firmly believe that can be the case. In fact, the spouse of one of al-anon friends is very obviously brain damaged from alcohol consumption. However, he is in AA AND he gets help from mental health agencies. Didn't stop him getting help, so why should it stop anyone else? Of course, they have to realise that they have a problem first.
Careful of the train of thought you're on, SE. There are potholes full of guilt there.
Careful of the train of thought you're on, SE. There are potholes full of guilt there.
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Oh gosh...yeah don't go there SE, I can see the wheels turning now......
Minnie, that's what I mean living with one pair of demons is bad enough
but yet two pairs????? I don't know how he keeps up with them all.
Seems to me it's alot more work than going to AA and getting sober to start.
Oh well....sigh
Minnie, that's what I mean living with one pair of demons is bad enough
but yet two pairs????? I don't know how he keeps up with them all.
Seems to me it's alot more work than going to AA and getting sober to start.
Oh well....sigh
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I know what you mean, Patty. But then I think about my life and the way things have unfolded. I always had a kind of low-level depression from when I was in my early teens. Nothing major, but a kind of "not-right" sensation. I never sought help, although I did expand my self-help library by a couple of thousand books. It took involvement with a sociopathic alcoholic to create the crisis that meant I sought help for MY issues to come out the other side. When I look back, I seriously don't know who I was then. It's like I was just a shell.
The more I think of that scenario, the more I realise how deadly rescuing can be. What some might think of caring and loving can actually be stopping someone from having the crisis that is needed to get help.
The more I think of that scenario, the more I realise how deadly rescuing can be. What some might think of caring and loving can actually be stopping someone from having the crisis that is needed to get help.
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I couldn't agree more.....
My ex admittedly looked to me as his saviour. Of course he didn't tell me that in the
beginning but his wheels were in motion. I became his enabler by default...it appears now that there were many before me.
My ex admittedly looked to me as his saviour. Of course he didn't tell me that in the
beginning but his wheels were in motion. I became his enabler by default...it appears now that there were many before me.
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Originally Posted by pmaslan
I...it appears now that there were many before me.
This rings true for me as well. There was someone before us and will be or is already someone picking up where we left off. Better them than us!
By the way, I had my DSL at home disconnected, so while I am on the employers dime, I get to visit SR. I need to change that, its not very fair to my employer.
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Yes SE.....When the ex left he went to stay with his aging parents.
He left there 6 weeks ago to "visit" his son in NY. His son is 11 so he lives
with his mother my ex's ex-wife......so she is now the lucky girl that feeds him, buys his cigarettes, gas for his car (borrowed from his mom) and whatever else he
needs....
I often wonder if I was penniless and on the street would I have the support
system that he always finds....
He left there 6 weeks ago to "visit" his son in NY. His son is 11 so he lives
with his mother my ex's ex-wife......so she is now the lucky girl that feeds him, buys his cigarettes, gas for his car (borrowed from his mom) and whatever else he
needs....
I often wonder if I was penniless and on the street would I have the support
system that he always finds....
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