Smudge

OK... Year 1 is coming to a close. I spent most of it getting married, and then convincing myself that I could totaly control my drinking... That i just needed to cut back....

Yeah...

Flash foward..... I'm still having blackouts... I still drink too much.... bah!

Why fight it...

It least I can see things more clearly this time around... I'm almost 30... I don't wanna let it go any further since it runs in the family....

so...

why oh why is it so hard to walk into an AA meeting?
why oh why do i have to love wine, winetasting, and wineries sooooo much?
why do i have to live in the wine region of NY?

This isn't going to be easy... but it's going to be worth it....

so here I am again... 3 days sober...

~Smudge

Chy

Yes, it's going to be worth it. What a great way to start off a marriage, if you continue I can assure you the bliss you now have over the love of your life will slowly be crumbled and crushed. He'll loose faith in you as well as become lost. I congratulate you.

In answer to your questions "Why..." Because we are alcoholics.

Cathy31

Smudge
It IS worth it and we DO recover. You are a great age to just give it up! Chy is right, whatever you have that is good WILL be destroyed. I mean, it's just a fact. If you recover - and all of us CAN - you will not risk destroying your life.

Give AA a go - phone them and ask someone to meet you beforehand..it IS scary, but boy it is worth it - and it keeps you sober - and you really learn how to live. And be better. And help others. And grow spiritually, And live better. And have better relationships.

You can't go wrong!!

Glad you came back!
Cathy31
x

CarolD

Ah yes...from a fine wine at dinner

to a mug of hooch instead of breakfast

that is my history.

Don't let it be yours.

Welcome back

hector

Welcome back, Smudge. Sounds like you're sick and tired of being sick and tired. That's a good thing.

Why is it so hard to walk into an AA meeting? For me, it was an admission of defeat. I could not see that seeking help is a victory all by itself. I could not see that those who sober up are the lucky few.

Why do you love wine? It's your drug of choice, your escape, your reward, your lubricant for life's problems, your best friend, your..... you continue, you know.

Why do you have to live in the wine region of NY?????

You know as well as I do, availability is not the issue.

Again, welcome back. I'm glad you're here. Keep posting.

I've been sober over 17 years. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.

Justme57

Hi there Smudge and welcome back

CONGRATS on your 3 days, now all you need to do is get back to meetings, listen up, and work on your recovery !

HUGX
Lee

2dayzmuse

You'll find something else to fall in love with. For me, I fell in love with two men. Ben & Jerry. Who knew? I'm passionate for them. The ice cream isn't bad either.

Jupiter2

Hi Smudge,

Don't waste any more time like I did. I stopped after rehab at 26, started again at 28 and couldn't stop until last year at 42. I spent 5 years trying to stop. Don't do what I did. You'll be really happy you did later on (I'm doing well by the way now, so don't mean this to be a downer).

Jup.

Smudge

It is much appreciated. I guess the way I see it is- i needed a year to really digest. To really understand what is going on and the reaction that my brain has to alcohol. I get dumb- I mean really stupid... for days and days after. My depression comes back with a vengence. The cravings start again. I get all foggy in my head, loose all sence of wanting to accomplish anything- even the smallest thing like the dishes or laundry- all the way up to not careing if I am even performing at work... within a day or two of even "moderate" drinking I start to get the "i don't give a sh*ts" about everything....

It's not worth it. My brain has been chemically altered, and that is nooooo good.

Onward and upward.

Thanks all