Alcoholic spouse
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 3
Alcoholic spouse
My husband is a weekend alcoholic. It starts on friday night and by sunday night, I am ready to call it quits. Monday nights, when I come home from work, I am greeted with a "sheepish" expression and can tell he is "testing the waters" because he isn't sure if I am mad and he also isn't sure exactly what happened over the weekend. This has been going on for at least five years. We have been married for 20. I love him. I did not grow up in an alcoholic home. I have more self-respect than this and am ashamed that I put up with it. I don't know what to do. I keep hoping things will change. I can be so mad on sunday night, and then after a decent week, I actually think that maybe things will change and then friday comes around again and the weekend repeats itself. Am I a fool?
Banned User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: reno nevada
Posts: 34
the lost weekend
What your post describes is the relentless progression of alcoholism. Your husband is experiencing "blackouts" loss of memory from drinking. A "blackout" is a definite symptom of alcoholism. You are confused and your husband probably does not what to discuss his drinking. Because the alcoholic depends on alcohol to remove any anxiety or stress from his life. It causes him too much pain to discuss his drinking and if he gets too upset he will take another drink to numb the pain, which leads to more drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Basement
Posts: 724
Hi Sab,
Welcome to the recovery forums. I am so glad you found us here. You are definitely not a fool. We all have our process and this is yours to go thru. There are so many people who are in different phases of what you are dealing with to offer their experience, strength, and hope.
Have you tried attending Alanon meetings? They are a wonderful resource to help family members of alcoholics deal with the issues that arise from Alcoholism, mainly how to take care of ourselves.
Welcome to the recovery forums. I am so glad you found us here. You are definitely not a fool. We all have our process and this is yours to go thru. There are so many people who are in different phases of what you are dealing with to offer their experience, strength, and hope.
Have you tried attending Alanon meetings? They are a wonderful resource to help family members of alcoholics deal with the issues that arise from Alcoholism, mainly how to take care of ourselves.
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Hi Sab
Welcome to the forum. This is a great place. Many people have a lot of wonderful advise and its a great place to share.
You are not a fool. I have been with my hubby for 14 years. We have been on a major roller coaster ride together. I guess the one thing that keeps me here is that I do love him. I hate this disease he has but I love him. Most of us have hope to see our loved one get clean and sober but right now I just am focusing on me and my needs.
Read the posts, get some al-anon material or go to some meetings, that would be the first step that I suggest.
Keep coming back and again welcome.
Hugs
Debbie
Welcome to the forum. This is a great place. Many people have a lot of wonderful advise and its a great place to share.
You are not a fool. I have been with my hubby for 14 years. We have been on a major roller coaster ride together. I guess the one thing that keeps me here is that I do love him. I hate this disease he has but I love him. Most of us have hope to see our loved one get clean and sober but right now I just am focusing on me and my needs.
Read the posts, get some al-anon material or go to some meetings, that would be the first step that I suggest.
Keep coming back and again welcome.
Hugs
Debbie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 329
Welcome sab929! Glad to have you here with us!
Loving someone and hoping for things to get better and change does not make you a fool. Coming here will give you strength to cope with your situation. Helping yourself is what you have control over. Reading the posts here always helps me because I am able to relate to someone that is going through a similar situation. I have been with my husband for 25 yrs. He does not drink all the time. He will be sober for a few days and then get drunk for a few or everyday for awhile. It is hard for me to watch him hurting himself. He goes to AA meetings and recently is doing better, but not knowing what each day will bring is hard. Since I have been coming here it is easier for me. I feel stronger and I am not focusing on what he does as much. I slip up every once in awhile but recovery is a one day at a time job!We need to recover too.
Take care of you and keep coming back!
matters
Loving someone and hoping for things to get better and change does not make you a fool. Coming here will give you strength to cope with your situation. Helping yourself is what you have control over. Reading the posts here always helps me because I am able to relate to someone that is going through a similar situation. I have been with my husband for 25 yrs. He does not drink all the time. He will be sober for a few days and then get drunk for a few or everyday for awhile. It is hard for me to watch him hurting himself. He goes to AA meetings and recently is doing better, but not knowing what each day will bring is hard. Since I have been coming here it is easier for me. I feel stronger and I am not focusing on what he does as much. I slip up every once in awhile but recovery is a one day at a time job!We need to recover too.
Take care of you and keep coming back!
matters
Fantastic Member
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 176
sab.................
Welcome to the board! Of course you are not a fool...you are just frustrated cause you can't fix the one you love. I sure have been through this....stay with us and you will learn much from everyones experience and you will grow stronger...for sure!
Love Kitty
Welcome to the board! Of course you are not a fool...you are just frustrated cause you can't fix the one you love. I sure have been through this....stay with us and you will learn much from everyones experience and you will grow stronger...for sure!
Love Kitty
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