beyondfedup

I am a mom of two small children. When I met my husband now, I didn't know he did drugs. I had never done them. When I started hanging out with him I did do them and just as much if not more than he did at the time. We decided to try to get pregnant with our first child. So we both stopped for about a month. I got pregnant and continued to stay away from drugs(meth, coccaine, pot) My husband continued after I got pregnant. He stopped again about 1 month before our 1st child was born. 4 months later he started again. We seperated and he stopped again. He stayed off of them for 1 yr and a half. During whick time I got pregnant with our second child. When she was 4 months old he started again. And it has continued with the longest break being 2 months inbetween.

Sometimes he goes away for days to weeks at a time. Leaving me with both children and no income. He has lost too many jobs to count! When I try to get a job, I can't get a babysitter. My oldest is now 3 and she know that daddy is doing something bad. I am fed up with him too. I have a part time job and am trying to get a second job.

I hope to soon save up enough to get away from him with my children. We are going ot move about 100 miles away. I have no family and I know it isn't going to be easy. But living like this isn't either!!

I have tried to help him so many times but I never can seem to get through to him. I know he can only be the one to decide to help himself. Just as I am deciding to help our children and I!

Am I doing the right thing? I hope someone has been through this or done this so I can have some tips or hints or something! I just feel so lost right now! I really love him and so do his kids but it hurts us more to see him like this than not see him at all.

Zilla

Hi there,

yes I think you are doing the right thing. My ex husband was an alcoholic and a drug addict. I left him when my baby was 6 weeks old. It was the best decision I ever made. It was really hard and very scary but if I hadn't done it, I would not have been able to provide my son with the stable childhood he has enjoyed. I think you are making the right move and you should be congratulated for your courage!

splendra

(((BFU)))

Welcome! It sounds to me like you are making an effort to move forward with your life. All you can really do is take care of what is yours to take care of. Like you said you can't really help your H. You have you and your children to take care of. That is enough for any one person to do.

I would like to suggest that now and after you move that you find some alanon or naranon meetings so you can make some new freinds who understand where you have been. Having friends really helps. Take care of yourself!!!