narekkm

My AH has been on a binge for the past 6 days and is beginning to really show the signs of alcohol poisoning. He is bloated beyond anything I've seen before hasnt' eaten in as many days and hasn't changed his clothes or showered in 5 days.

This past Thursay, day 2 of his binge, I filed a missing persons report because he hadn't been home in almost 36 hours. Well, they finally found him passed out on the sidewalk at 1am in front of a restaurant and took him to the emergency room. This was his 4th trip to the ER in 2 days.

I brought him home Fri morning and came home from work at 5pm to find him passed out on the kitchen floor. I stepped over him and went to the gym. I came home from the gym and he was still passed out. I went to my al-anon meeting. Came home from that and STILL passed out on the floor. That's when I took his wallet out of his pocket and haven't given it back since. It's now Sunday and he's been w/o money, credit cards for 2 days and yet, is still drunk. He must have enough squirrel holes to be hiding his stash in to stay drunk this long, but I'm wondering if I should just give him his wallet back and let his disease take it's course, whatever that may be.

He was attending AA meetings regularly, has a sponsor (who hasn't called once in the last 5 days wondering where the hell he might be) but, has always kept one foot outside sobriety.

So my question is, do I give him his wallet back and let him finish what he started or do I play "god" and give him a fighting chance to get sober sooner rather than later?

Thanks

Pick-a-name

I'm sorry............I will keep you both in my prayers.


(I have no advice to give.....just wanted to let you know somebody's out here listening.)

equus

Keep the wallet! just my instincts but it seems common sense. To be honest if I had anyone passed out on my kitchen floor for hours on end I would call an ambulance. It's where you live, your home and if it were me I'd want the passed out person elsewhere and for someone else to be responsible as he isn't conscious.


My heart goes out to you, so sorry you're dealing with this.

sunshine003

I'd say keep it also. But if he were asking for it, going to cause an arguement, then I'd give it to him, it is his. But as I gave it to him I'd say, "I can't watch what you are doing to yourself, if you must drink then you'll have to do it else where and come back when you are sober." Something like that. I'm not sure what to do in a situation like this. I've never thought of taking my AH wallet, he'd storm out and drink even heavier if I did that, it would be giving him reason to drink in his mind. He doesn't want anyone telling him what to do when he's like that. Somehow, he'd find money. Also, he'd cause a big stink if I stood in his way during a binge. He isn't doing that to you?

I'm sorry and hope it ends soon.

cwohio

narekkm - was the reason you took the wallet to keep him from going out and drinking? if so, it's only a stop-gap. he obviously, as you said, has some squirrelled away. we that are in these relationships sometimes do things thinking we can control the situation. will it really do any good in the long run? as for the passed out on the floor stuff - i think i would have called the squad if the person was passed out that long. my husband never wanted me to call but i let him know in no uncertain terms that if he was having seizures, etc. i WAS going to call because i couldn't have NOT and felt good about myself. that was a boundary i put in place for me. hugs to you!!!

Zoey

Call Ambulance , tell them how long he was passed out, it could be life threatening.
If the booze cut off he could have DT's, I feel he needs Detox.
Just my thoughts.

escape artist

give him back his wallet and get out of the way. His choice. His life. even if he does want to end it.

robina

He will find a way to drink, wallet or no wallet. However, if I gave him the wallet and then he died of alcohol poisoning, I would feel guilty. Therefore, if it was me, I would keep the wallet.

However, it sounds like he could use some emergency medical help.

Try very hard not to get sucked into the drama and emotions around this. (easy for me to say...) Dealing with a alcoholic who is hitting bottom is horrible. What help do you have in place for you?

Love and blessing to you and him

Robin

BlueMoon

If it were me - and it has been - and I found a drunk passed out on the floor when I came home - I'd call the ambulance - and then change the locks.

I never took my x-AH's wallet - always figured they might need it to identify him - - -

denny57

I think I'd give the wallet back, too.

princess9282001

Apparently taking his wallet from him doesnt keep him from drinking. I say give it back.

pmaslan

Doesn't work. I took my ex's wallet and credit card per his request.
Only to have him threaten me with the police if I didn't give them back.
I gave them back and off he went on his bindge. I didn't argue with him,
gave it to him and told him not to return if he was drinking. He didn't return
for several days. This was the end of our relationship, within days after he
was on a train to live with parents, who would allow him to spiral. I no longer
had to watch this and began living my life. Everyone has a choice and everything comes with a price.

canada1

i say give it back. you can't be in charge of making his choices. but i would call an ambulance next time and then don't pick him up from the hospital. let him suffer the consequences of his actions and don't feel guilty!

elizabeth1979

Ive been in a similar situation.
I said I would call the police to take him to detox or I would call an ambulance. Only other choice would be to leave on his own. Let it be his choices and his consequences.

Yes. Exactly, Let them be his choices and HIS price.

My heart goes out to you!

Aquiana

If G knew I had his wallet, I'd give it back to avoid a nasty argument. I'll admit it though, if he didn't know I had it I'd probably let him believe he lost it. I would take all the money out of the bank account, not to play god or control him but because it's my money too and we need it to live!

I'd probably call the ambulance as well. It sounds like your AH is making himself sick and it's not your job to take care of him. It sounds like he needs professional attention.