New & need advise...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Redwood City, CA
Posts: 5
New & need advise...
Hello, I'm new and really in need of some advise...
Did I do the right thing by telling friend, and the man I'm in love with to leave after he showed-up at my house at 8:00 in the moring after lying to me and breaking our plans from the night before. He made up an elaborite lie as to why he could not come over. Then shows up at my house the next moring after doing a gram of cocaine all night. He said "I cant be alone right now" I really need you" and "I have no place else to go". I told him to leave, in the past I would "Nurse" him back after he did something like that. But this time, he left and I told him to never call me again. Now I feel really guilty because he came to me in need of help.
He has been in and out of rehab, in and out of meetings, we have been through so much together, I guess I wanted to be the one that was there for him. I really need someone to give it to me straight, and tell me that I did the right thing, even though I'm having all these guilty feelings...
Did I do the right thing by telling friend, and the man I'm in love with to leave after he showed-up at my house at 8:00 in the moring after lying to me and breaking our plans from the night before. He made up an elaborite lie as to why he could not come over. Then shows up at my house the next moring after doing a gram of cocaine all night. He said "I cant be alone right now" I really need you" and "I have no place else to go". I told him to leave, in the past I would "Nurse" him back after he did something like that. But this time, he left and I told him to never call me again. Now I feel really guilty because he came to me in need of help.
He has been in and out of rehab, in and out of meetings, we have been through so much together, I guess I wanted to be the one that was there for him. I really need someone to give it to me straight, and tell me that I did the right thing, even though I'm having all these guilty feelings...
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
His actions bring reactions.
You did what was best for you. He will make choices and do things no matter what choices you make...till he is ready to seek change.
As tough a choice that you made, it may be the best choice for both of you.
You did what was best for you. He will make choices and do things no matter what choices you make...till he is ready to seek change.
As tough a choice that you made, it may be the best choice for both of you.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome....
all your past efforts have failed.
See if rhis is a better way of coping with his addiction.
I hope you will consider Nar Alon meeting for YOU.
SR has a forum here for you to check it out.
all your past efforts have failed.
See if rhis is a better way of coping with his addiction.
I hope you will consider Nar Alon meeting for YOU.
SR has a forum here for you to check it out.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 7
I'll try
I am rather new here but I wanted to see if I could help.
I am that person you turned away. (Except only drink - no drugs). My husband is the person who would always nurse me back. Everytime he does that he is enabling me. He makes it easier for me to go out and do it again. Because I know that he will be there when I get back.
I asked my husband to help me quit. I asked him to be stronger in his words by telling me I can't do this anymore. I asked him not to be afraid to say no to me.
I truely believe if he is able to say no to me - and because I DO love him very much - I will be able to get through this.
So, I think you made the right choice. Now it is up to your boyfriend to make the right choices!
Hope that helps,
XOXO
I am that person you turned away. (Except only drink - no drugs). My husband is the person who would always nurse me back. Everytime he does that he is enabling me. He makes it easier for me to go out and do it again. Because I know that he will be there when I get back.
I asked my husband to help me quit. I asked him to be stronger in his words by telling me I can't do this anymore. I asked him not to be afraid to say no to me.
I truely believe if he is able to say no to me - and because I DO love him very much - I will be able to get through this.
So, I think you made the right choice. Now it is up to your boyfriend to make the right choices!
Hope that helps,
XOXO
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by tryingsober
I asked my husband to help me quit. I asked him to be stronger in his words by telling me I can't do this anymore. I asked him not to be afraid to say no to me.
Start by looking inside and ask of yourself.
AA meetings will give you much needed support and info. Your husband can only do so much. The people at AA understand because they have been there and know what works. Between a loving husband and AA, you will find that you can do it.
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