Pain Killer Addiction
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 3
Pain Killer Addiction
I have a problem with pain killers, and I have hurt my husband with my lying about my pain killer addiction. I hadn't used pain killers for the past three years. But New Years Eve there was a guy who had a bottle of pain killers. They were sitting on the counter and no one was around. I actually stole some from this guy and he noticed some were gone. He wanted to call the cops, etc. but he didn't, thank God or it would have ruined my 13 year old daughter's life. My husband found out and it hurt him very badly.
When I was using, I would lie to him and tell him I wasn't right to his face. This summer I started to drink quite a bit, but finally pulled my head out of my butt and realized I cannot raise a family and have a good relationship with my husband.
My pain killer addiction started because I had severe arthritis in both hip joints. I had both hip joints replaced 3 years ago, but continued taking the pain killers from my surgery even though I didn't have any pain, I took them because I was bored. I also had a pill doctor who would prescribe me pain meds on a weekly basis. My husband went to this doctor and told him not to give me anymore. I never went back to the doctor, and this doctor has since gotten his medical license pulled because he was doing this with many many many people.
My pain killer addiction changed me and I was constantly badgering my husband, calling out all his faults and dragging the past up. I lost 4 years with my daughter. My daughter would tell my husband, "all mommy wants to do is sleep all the time".
I believe my addiction also has effected me as far as my memory, lots of anxiety, and consentration. I am seeking help from a psychiatrist. She prescribe a mood alterator (non-addictive) and it has calmed me down quite a bit.
I am so thankful that my husband did not leave me during these times, but I have hurt him again, and he layed down the law. Straighten up or get out. I have never been so ashamed of myself for the things I have done. It is hard to forgive yourself and go on with our recovery, but we can do it!
Please keep me in your prayers for my marriage and so I can stay clean and sober. Thanks!
When I was using, I would lie to him and tell him I wasn't right to his face. This summer I started to drink quite a bit, but finally pulled my head out of my butt and realized I cannot raise a family and have a good relationship with my husband.
My pain killer addiction started because I had severe arthritis in both hip joints. I had both hip joints replaced 3 years ago, but continued taking the pain killers from my surgery even though I didn't have any pain, I took them because I was bored. I also had a pill doctor who would prescribe me pain meds on a weekly basis. My husband went to this doctor and told him not to give me anymore. I never went back to the doctor, and this doctor has since gotten his medical license pulled because he was doing this with many many many people.
My pain killer addiction changed me and I was constantly badgering my husband, calling out all his faults and dragging the past up. I lost 4 years with my daughter. My daughter would tell my husband, "all mommy wants to do is sleep all the time".
I believe my addiction also has effected me as far as my memory, lots of anxiety, and consentration. I am seeking help from a psychiatrist. She prescribe a mood alterator (non-addictive) and it has calmed me down quite a bit.
I am so thankful that my husband did not leave me during these times, but I have hurt him again, and he layed down the law. Straighten up or get out. I have never been so ashamed of myself for the things I have done. It is hard to forgive yourself and go on with our recovery, but we can do it!
Please keep me in your prayers for my marriage and so I can stay clean and sober. Thanks!
Sweet Sounds of Heaven
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Point Blue, Louisiana
Posts: 1,144
GuiltRidden, 1st welcome to SR you will find alot of support and healing here.
I also was addicted to pain killers, reading your post reminded me of myself.
Just take it one day at a time and you will become the person you want to be. We were always good people we just did stupid things. Keep praying and have a postive attitude for a better you. I will keep you in my prayers.
True Blue aka Janet
I also was addicted to pain killers, reading your post reminded me of myself.
Just take it one day at a time and you will become the person you want to be. We were always good people we just did stupid things. Keep praying and have a postive attitude for a better you. I will keep you in my prayers.
True Blue aka Janet
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: London
Posts: 1,229
Well, at least you are aware of your problem. What a great start! After acknowledging I had a problem, I had to do things to get my life back on track. Self help, AA, CBT, and shrinks can all help us lead happier, meaningful lives.
I know many in recovery who would not swap all the drugs in the world for the life they have now. So just keep going, and you will be fine.
I know many in recovery who would not swap all the drugs in the world for the life they have now. So just keep going, and you will be fine.
NA Rocks!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Location Location
Posts: 517
Hi and welcome, Guiltridden!
I'm so glad you're here! Reading your post sounded so much like MY story, too. I'm also a painkiller addict, with eight months of recovery, thanks to an addiction specialist, my family, NA, and this Sober Recovery Community.
I've said numerous times, I'm so grateful and blessed that my husband didn't leave me over my addiction. We both must have very strong, understanding, loving men in our lives, eh?
You are not a bad person. You have the disease of addiction, not a moral deficiency. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I really, really hope you'll stick around and keep posting. (Maybe we can even change your member name from "Guiltridden" to "HappyWife" or somethin' in the future). 
Memory, anxiety and concentration .... yep! My opiate addiction sure messed with that, that's for sure. The anxiety is lessening now, though. Concentration is better, not great, but better. My memory is still fuzzy, which is so frustrating. My family gives me a bad time about it sometimes, but they're not mean about it. They feel for me. I struggle often, trying so hard to remember certain things, times, dates, names, etc. But poof! They're just gone. I hear it'll take a while for our brains to readjust. Don't worry.
I'll send you a Personal Message tomorrow, k? I'd love to chat more with you. We've got a LOT in common!
Talk to you soon. And again, so happy you're here!
~ Kelly ~
I'm so glad you're here! Reading your post sounded so much like MY story, too. I'm also a painkiller addict, with eight months of recovery, thanks to an addiction specialist, my family, NA, and this Sober Recovery Community.
I've said numerous times, I'm so grateful and blessed that my husband didn't leave me over my addiction. We both must have very strong, understanding, loving men in our lives, eh?
You are not a bad person. You have the disease of addiction, not a moral deficiency. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I really, really hope you'll stick around and keep posting. (Maybe we can even change your member name from "Guiltridden" to "HappyWife" or somethin' in the future). Memory, anxiety and concentration .... yep! My opiate addiction sure messed with that, that's for sure. The anxiety is lessening now, though. Concentration is better, not great, but better. My memory is still fuzzy, which is so frustrating. My family gives me a bad time about it sometimes, but they're not mean about it. They feel for me. I struggle often, trying so hard to remember certain things, times, dates, names, etc. But poof! They're just gone. I hear it'll take a while for our brains to readjust. Don't worry.
I'll send you a Personal Message tomorrow, k? I'd love to chat more with you. We've got a LOT in common!
Talk to you soon. And again, so happy you're here!
~ Kelly ~
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
Originally Posted by Time4Change
You are not a bad person. You have the disease of addiction, not a moral deficiency. Please don't beat yourself up about it. I really, really hope you'll stick around and keep posting. (Maybe we can even change your member name from "Guiltridden" to "HappyWife" or somethin' in the future).
Welcome to SR Guiltridden. So glad you are here.
Suga
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 10
I have the same problem. It escalated to slamming Heroin which I overdosed last Thursday. Needless to say I quit Heroin, well at least I'm five days into it...
I guess we have some common ground. I've had two spinal surgeries and am still on pain killers prescribed by my doctor. I work construction and am in pain every waking moment. I Will be trying to control it if there is such a thing but at 42 and having a very physically demanding job I'm having problems quiting the meds all together.
I'm not married and have no children but at times I think if I did I'd have a reason not to use, love is the best drug.....
I guess we have some common ground. I've had two spinal surgeries and am still on pain killers prescribed by my doctor. I work construction and am in pain every waking moment. I Will be trying to control it if there is such a thing but at 42 and having a very physically demanding job I'm having problems quiting the meds all together.
I'm not married and have no children but at times I think if I did I'd have a reason not to use, love is the best drug.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Posts: 3
Thanks for all of your replies. I was really hurting, but it really helps to know that there are others out there going through the same thing.
Kelly, Drop me a message anytime. It helps a lot to talk with someone who has the same problem and pretty well the same situation. And yes we have wonderful husbands who love us very much to go through what we have put them through.
Zen, I am 42 also! Kinda sucks getting old aye? I have some damage in my spine as far as the discs. Luckily Ibuprophen helps with my pain. My doctor asked me if I needed any more pain medicine last Wednesday, and I told him "no thanks, ibuprophen does just fine. It wasn't hard at all to say no either
By the way, my name is Kim.
Kelly, Drop me a message anytime. It helps a lot to talk with someone who has the same problem and pretty well the same situation. And yes we have wonderful husbands who love us very much to go through what we have put them through.
Zen, I am 42 also! Kinda sucks getting old aye?
I have some damage in my spine as far as the discs. Luckily Ibuprophen helps with my pain. My doctor asked me if I needed any more pain medicine last Wednesday, and I told him "no thanks, ibuprophen does just fine. It wasn't hard at all to say no either By the way, my name is Kim.
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