c'est la vie

I just wanted to tell all of you wonderful, caring people that you have made a difference in my life. My fear has been brewing for years now. The daytime drinking, hiding bottles, and weekend binging just wasn't enough for me to think I had a problem (for some insane reason). I think it was the first time I got sick (yeah, that kind) during the day that I said, "you've got to stop this." But guess what, I couldn't and didn't. I kept right on for another couple years until I found this forum.

You've talked me through my fears of going to an AA meeting. I went and I'm so happy and can't wait to go again. You've talked me through my fears of talking to my husband. Tonight, I finally came entirely clean - no more secret recovery, no more "you don't want to know the whole truth". Guess what his response was? "I can't believe you even question that you're an alcoholic. It's good that you're going to meetings." Duh... I was afraid he was going to be dissappointed to have a dysfunctional wife. He told me he was proud that I had the strength to admit I had a problem and that I wanted to solve it. He's totally supportive.

"I am an alcoholic, but that's not all I am." (I don't know who said this, but I'm borrowing it.) Now I just need to figure out what else I am since the alcoholic was stealing the stage for so long.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Sugasnaps

Wow...

Hi Angie!!! It is SO good to meet you.

Your progress has been an inspiration to me and this post gave me chills. I'm so happy for you. Welcome to your life baby you earned it. **{hugs}}

Suga

PaperDolls

Congratulations Angie!!

It's nice to "meet" you.

~doll

c'est la vie

Me, an inspiration to you. You are to me!! If I remember correctly you described my life as if it was yours. Oh yeah it was yours. haha So I knew there was life after drunkeness.

Etimee

Hi Angie,

I have a great big smile on my face for your courage and for the wonderful way it turned out with your husband.

I am so glad that you are getting off the rollercoaster and moving along in more control. Our lives will always have the ups and downs but now we have each other to lean on, to be there for, to listen to and great times like these to share in great accomplishments.

What a Monday, Huh!

I am glad for your kids and your hubby. We are all here for you come what may!!!!!

Hugs!
Etimee

c'est la vie

I think I'm doomed to always be on a rollercoaster, but I may be able to downgrade to "The Scooby Doo" and get off of "The Beast" (hopefully).

Justme57

WTG Angie !

Great post !

HUGX
Lee

dixielove

Angie, you are an inspiration !!!
I'm so happy for you that you are showing this strength to take the next steps.
Keep on going, I'm following in your footsteps.

Your post was awesome!

janeeyre

Aw, Angie! You're making me cry...

And I'm so happy for you.

Love,
Jane

Kellye C

Hi Angie!

Wonderful post! I am so proud of you! Keep posting and letting us know how you're doing. Congratulations on facing your fears and addressing your problem. There IS a solution and your life can change drastically for the better!

Hugs,
Kellye

Anna

Angie, that's such a great post!

And, I know what you mean about figuring out what else you are! When I stopped drinking, there wasn't much left of the real me. But, it came back with great joy and the same thing will happen to you.

CarolD

Hi Angie! Fantastic!

I am so proud to see your [rpgress.

c'est la vie

Thanks for your kind messages. I can't even begin to describe the weight that was lifted just by surrendering to the fact that despite my determiniation not to be an alcoholic, that I must be one. I feel that my relationship is going to be stronger because it's out there rather than the other way around. I'm looking forward to another meeting today. It seems that something special always happens and I want to find out what is waiting for me today.

Cathy31

And Ang, you will find it in ABUNDANCE!

I am so happy for you, what a great example you are! Keep it in the day, and keep doing what you are doing!!!

Your post really brought tears to my eyes.

Good for you!!!

Cathy31
x

igfan

"Angie..(ba da da da da da).....Angie.......they can't say we never tried"

I just had to get that out! Anyway, congratulations on everything. You give me inspiration....to talk openly to my husband. I have never said the words out loud to him "I am an alcoholic", he knows i attend meetings, he knows i read the "big book", but we don't really talk about it. You give me courage to be open with him, because i'm sure he would be absolutely supportive if i just had the courage to tell him everything.

Thanks Ang!

Your friend in sobriety,
Cheryl

c'est la vie

I just got back from a meeting and lunch with one of the ladies there. I said it!! I introduced myself for the first time and although it sounds crazy, I was actually proud. Is it crazy to be proud to be an alcoholic? Or am I just proud to finally feel like I'm on my way to a better life?

I asked the woman I ate lunch with if she would be my temporary sponsor so I can start working the steps. Now I need to chronologize the events that led up to my drinking and of course how my drinking has progressed. I've begun thinking of those things lately and it's scary. It really might be frightening to put in on paper. Yikes! I guess this gives me a glimpse of how "unmanageable my life has become".

Sugasnaps

Not crazy at all... you should be proud of the incredible steps you are taking for yourself. It's a huge thing - least it was for me - to finally get to the place where I accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic. THAT is a huge accomplishment and your being proud isn't so much that you are saying "WHOOPEEEE I'm an alkie! I rule!" It's more of a "damn, took me a while but I'm recognizing this for what it is and no longer hiding OR afraid of it - I'm an alcoholic - get ready cuz I'm rolling up my sleeves and we're about to throw down." hehe Whee!

Congrats on your temp-sponsor. You are doing so good!

**{hugs}} Suga

Purrdy

Blimey!
you sooooo remind me of me when i went to AA for the first time
Please feel free to talk on here or PM anyone (including me)
Have to keep this short because im off to a meet meself!

You are an inspiration and a joy!
Keeeep coming back
Love Purrddyxxxxx

Justme57

Hi! WL

I know what you mean about feeling "proud", I was a bit like that, it was a mixture of pride in myself that I had accepted the fact, and that I was relieved to have finally, surrendered, and given up fighting it .

It was only then that I felt a willingness and an excitment about doing the steps. I still enjoy my step work, and am excited when I see a change or some growth happening in my life .

HUGX
Lee

squirrelly77

I just wanted to say THANK YOU Angie!

What a wonderful thing, huh, how we all need each other. If it weren't for AA and the 12-Steps, I don't know where I'd be.

Oh yeah, probably dead in some gutter.