mixed feelings
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: ca
Posts: 15
mixed feelings
hello everyone 
Well, I'm heading out next week. I have relatives who are going to drive my stuff halfway across the country. It's been a hard week for me. I just went back to my old job (after being off for 9 months for the twins) about 2 months ago and I had to quit. It was so hard....much harder than I thought. Unfortunately, this was a job that I just loved. And then I had to tell our wonderful day care center that the kids were leaving. I'm just really pissed off at my A right now. Just when everything is looking really good in my life he chooses to not work his program and then all hell breaks loose and I'm forced to change everything in my life because of him!!!! I could call him every name in the book right now but I'll spare you guys. They just have no idea how much their drinking impacts everyone else. Its so damn unfair. I'm under so much stress I feel like I'm going to just break in half. My chest hurts and i find myself crying all the time. What is my problem?? I'm mad that he gets to come back here to our nice house and he still has his nice job while I have to move, find a new job (which is the most stressful thing in the world to me) and also find a new place to live. Actually, I don't HAVE to do any of this, I am choosing to do it so I guess I shouldn't be so angry. He better not even get ugly with me about leaving........I will be on the warpath. I'm just tired of being nice to him and babying him because he's in rehab and doesn't need negativity. Why do we put them first continually and put ourselves aside? He told me tonight that I needed to go to an an alon meeting and I blew up. I'm the one who's been going to meetings and aftercare, working MY program and what the hell did he do???? Ok, I just really needed to get all that off my chest. Thanks for listening.
Well, I'm heading out next week. I have relatives who are going to drive my stuff halfway across the country. It's been a hard week for me. I just went back to my old job (after being off for 9 months for the twins) about 2 months ago and I had to quit. It was so hard....much harder than I thought. Unfortunately, this was a job that I just loved. And then I had to tell our wonderful day care center that the kids were leaving. I'm just really pissed off at my A right now. Just when everything is looking really good in my life he chooses to not work his program and then all hell breaks loose and I'm forced to change everything in my life because of him!!!! I could call him every name in the book right now but I'll spare you guys. They just have no idea how much their drinking impacts everyone else. Its so damn unfair. I'm under so much stress I feel like I'm going to just break in half. My chest hurts and i find myself crying all the time. What is my problem?? I'm mad that he gets to come back here to our nice house and he still has his nice job while I have to move, find a new job (which is the most stressful thing in the world to me) and also find a new place to live. Actually, I don't HAVE to do any of this, I am choosing to do it so I guess I shouldn't be so angry. He better not even get ugly with me about leaving........I will be on the warpath. I'm just tired of being nice to him and babying him because he's in rehab and doesn't need negativity. Why do we put them first continually and put ourselves aside? He told me tonight that I needed to go to an an alon meeting and I blew up. I'm the one who's been going to meetings and aftercare, working MY program and what the hell did he do???? Ok, I just really needed to get all that off my chest. Thanks for listening.
Banned User
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: reno nevada
Posts: 34
mixed feelings
I am so sick of the whining baby addict. I read somewhere that the adults should have time outs for their "baby" addicts. Poor baby didnt get enough drugs. The adults need to shut these jerks up. No one would tolerate this crap from a non addict adult.
But Very, Very Bruisable...
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Palm Springs, Ca.
Posts: 548
Hey Open?
You're not doing such a bad job of whining yourself! What's the difference between an addict complaining all the time and someone complaining about the addict all the time? Nothing.
You're not doing such a bad job of whining yourself! What's the difference between an addict complaining all the time and someone complaining about the addict all the time? Nothing.
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Twice,
Vent, gal, vent! It's okay and you keep working your program. You will be the better for it. God will provide for you. I just know he will....
One day at a time, one day at a time. I'm keeping you in my prayers as you make this move. And I'll pray you keep your cool, too....
Hugs!
Vent, gal, vent! It's okay and you keep working your program. You will be the better for it. God will provide for you. I just know he will....
One day at a time, one day at a time. I'm keeping you in my prayers as you make this move. And I'll pray you keep your cool, too....
Hugs!
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Nice,
Know going in that what you are doing IS the most stressful thing you could be doing times 3!! Relocating, ending a relationship and changing jobs. They are all way up there on the stress producing scale. So know it going in and it might help.
Accept the situation and take time out for yourself...you may have a false start in your living or work situation but that can be fixed down the line.
It is a new, exciting time! Don't forget that!
Hugs,
JT
Know going in that what you are doing IS the most stressful thing you could be doing times 3!! Relocating, ending a relationship and changing jobs. They are all way up there on the stress producing scale. So know it going in and it might help.
Accept the situation and take time out for yourself...you may have a false start in your living or work situation but that can be fixed down the line.
It is a new, exciting time! Don't forget that!
Hugs,
JT
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 58
I agree with Hangin' - vent to your hearts content... it is good to get it off your chest..
Open, I tend to sense a bit of hostility in your posts
We all go through our bouts with the feelings and emotions and we all need to vent and be heard... just remember - nothing changes if nothing changes.
Open, I tend to sense a bit of hostility in your posts
We all go through our bouts with the feelings and emotions and we all need to vent and be heard... just remember - nothing changes if nothing changes.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Hello Twice.
Don't you think that maybe it was up until NOW that you rearranged everything in your life because of him? Now you're doing it for you. I know just how angry you're feeling, and I'm glad you came here to let it all hang out. Personally, I also recommend punching pillows, swinging a dammit doll, weilding a nerf bat, and renting extremely emotional movies to watch until you've wailed yourself into a stupor. You have years of hurt built up, and it sure helps me to let the fury fly sometimes. Get the old anger out, and keep on with the things you're doing to insure you don't get hurt again in the same ways. You're in the middle of a storm, but you're driving out of it into clear rainwashed skies. It might take a little while for your hair to dry. That's okay. Most of us here have the frizzies for awhile after the monsoon, and that's okay, too.
Hugs,
Smoke
Don't you think that maybe it was up until NOW that you rearranged everything in your life because of him? Now you're doing it for you. I know just how angry you're feeling, and I'm glad you came here to let it all hang out. Personally, I also recommend punching pillows, swinging a dammit doll, weilding a nerf bat, and renting extremely emotional movies to watch until you've wailed yourself into a stupor. You have years of hurt built up, and it sure helps me to let the fury fly sometimes. Get the old anger out, and keep on with the things you're doing to insure you don't get hurt again in the same ways. You're in the middle of a storm, but you're driving out of it into clear rainwashed skies. It might take a little while for your hair to dry. That's okay. Most of us here have the frizzies for awhile after the monsoon, and that's okay, too.
Hugs,
Smoke
Paused
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Denton Texas
Posts: 92
Thanks for your post. This disease can be so frustrating and the unmanageability and what constitutes insanity is individual to everyone involved. Please remember that hanging on to anger and resentment only takes the energy out of you. Ask your HP to help you let go. Peace be still. Even in the middle of the move and the job, look for the pearl. Maybe you will meet some nice healthy people. Maybe the job will teach you something you've been needing.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dreaming Summer
Posts: 821
Originally posted by openseason
I am so sick of the whining baby addict. I read somewhere that the adults should have time outs for their "baby" addicts. Poor baby didnt get enough drugs. The adults need to shut these jerks up. No one would tolerate this crap from a non addict adult.
I am so sick of the whining baby addict. I read somewhere that the adults should have time outs for their "baby" addicts. Poor baby didnt get enough drugs. The adults need to shut these jerks up. No one would tolerate this crap from a non addict adult.
Like Jon said...no real difference between a whining addict and what you are doing.Even your user name sounds vindictive.
As I said to you in an earlier post,that heavy stone of resentment will drag you to the bottom of the lake.Why not let go and find peace?Meanwhile,many of us come here looking for strength and hope.I can certainly understand an Anon who needs to vent about what is happening in their life.But your constant wholesale complaints contribute little and cloud the atmosphere of recovery.Remember,anger is as poisonous to the Anon as it is to the addict.You won't heal until you get rid of the poison.
phoenix
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