So proud of my husband,so disappointed in myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 19
So proud of my husband,so disappointed in myself
Just to give you a background....my husband and I come from a LONG line of alcoholics and we are alcoholics. Well, we decided that last Monday, we would stop drinking, together....he has quit, and I have not 
I am SO proud of him! He has not touched a drink in almost 5 days and I haven't NOT touched a drink in 5 days...I haven't been drunk but, I haven't abstained,either. I truly feel that when it's time for you to quit, and when you really really want it, then you'll do it.....right???
I feel SO guilty for not being stronger for him! I've been suffering with tremendous anxiety issues and I know that I self-medicate. However, this is no excuse, right?? I feel like such a loser.
He's been coming to get me from work(I work at a bar...I know, bad decision) and he orders iced tea or water. I get off work and I order a shot!!
when do you know when it's the right time for you to quit? I want to but, I dont' feel strong enough. I get cravings and then I just give-into it.
When did it hit you? When did you know when you had to stop? I mean, I've already had my Father die because of alcohol and my husbands parents are both deceased because of it......when do I get it? When will I be strong enough to overcome this?
I am SO proud of him! He has not touched a drink in almost 5 days and I haven't NOT touched a drink in 5 days...I haven't been drunk but, I haven't abstained,either. I truly feel that when it's time for you to quit, and when you really really want it, then you'll do it.....right???
I feel SO guilty for not being stronger for him! I've been suffering with tremendous anxiety issues and I know that I self-medicate. However, this is no excuse, right?? I feel like such a loser.
He's been coming to get me from work(I work at a bar...I know, bad decision) and he orders iced tea or water. I get off work and I order a shot!!
when do you know when it's the right time for you to quit? I want to but, I dont' feel strong enough. I get cravings and then I just give-into it.
When did it hit you? When did you know when you had to stop? I mean, I've already had my Father die because of alcohol and my husbands parents are both deceased because of it......when do I get it? When will I be strong enough to overcome this?
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
When fear becomes a motivator or when you reach a point of being sick and tired of being sick and tired.
My point of stopping and your point of stopping may be different.
When you have had enough, your desire to stop will turn into a willingness to stop.
You have an added motivator by working in a bar. You get to see all the people come in who acted like me in my day. You get to see what alcohol can and will do. No one is immune.
Stop now while you still have some strength. It may not be enough? The desire to stop and the support that AA will give you, you will find that is enough.
My point of stopping and your point of stopping may be different.
When you have had enough, your desire to stop will turn into a willingness to stop.
You have an added motivator by working in a bar. You get to see all the people come in who acted like me in my day. You get to see what alcohol can and will do. No one is immune.
Stop now while you still have some strength. It may not be enough? The desire to stop and the support that AA will give you, you will find that is enough.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Toronto Ontario
Posts: 8
Melanie
I believe that you already have the strength, you just have to allow it to work for you. The very fact that you are questioning the status quo shows that you care about yourself and what happens to you; to me, that spells self-awareness and strength. Every single person here has been through a similar process, a similar struggle, some victories, some defeats, and eventually our weakness for alcohol turns out to be our greatest strength, because we can see it for what it is.
There's a strong person inside you talking. Just listen!
I believe that you already have the strength, you just have to allow it to work for you. The very fact that you are questioning the status quo shows that you care about yourself and what happens to you; to me, that spells self-awareness and strength. Every single person here has been through a similar process, a similar struggle, some victories, some defeats, and eventually our weakness for alcohol turns out to be our greatest strength, because we can see it for what it is.
There's a strong person inside you talking. Just listen!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.
Alcoholism is a disease.
I suggest you get more factual info
My favorite 'handbook' on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"
Both can be ordered from Amazon...
Glad to see a new member...we do understand
Blessings...
Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.
Alcoholism is a disease.
I suggest you get more factual info
My favorite 'handbook' on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"
Both can be ordered from Amazon...
Glad to see a new member...we do understand
Blessings...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: some where / no where
Posts: 1,019
Welcome Melanie!
I work in a bar too. I havn't had a drink since Sept. 24 2005. That's an absolute miracle!!!
Congrads on not getting drunk for 5 days! When I was still drinking, that would be a major acomplishment for me. I'm an alcoholic, and admiting it was a major acomplishment for me as well. It's good to question your drinking, if you feel you may have a problem. You are on the right path, and SR is a good place to get some resources.
When did I quit? Why?
I started heavy binge drinking on weekends, and then turned into a "full blown" alcoholic when I started getting into my *music career*. I spent most of my life in bars from that point on....and daily drinking and binging became a way of life for me. When I got married, landed a good job, and started having children...I started "cutting back".
I stuggled with "controled" drinking for about 3 years or so. Even then, I'd have a black out drunk at least every 10 days. I drank every day, and I *needed* to have a drink or two in me at all times, in order to feel *normal*. I would wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, and have a shot of whiskey. I would have a cold beer first thing in the morning sometimes when I had a bad hangover. I'd drink all night, and pass out in weird places ie; the flower bed, the basement stairs etc... I would sometimes wake up with blood all over me from some sort of misadventure..
Stuff like this, plus the fact that my "cutting back" wasn't really working... drove me to quit drinking. I actually *tricked myself* into quitting. At the time, I was trying forced moderation by keeping track of my drinks on a chart. After my last night of disapointing myself...by not sticking to my goal of moderation...I decided to deprive myself of alcohol as a punishment for being so weak. I went for one day, then two days...then I decided to go for 30 days. At 7 days into my abstinence...I went to AA. The rest is history.
I now live day by day without drinking or smoking pot. I am so grateful for sobriety, and I wish you all the best in your journey. If you are suffering from alcoholism, Melanie, I hope you will find peace. I hope you will be able to find your own sober recovery. Keep coming back to SR. There's lots of us who have the same struggles as you.
peace out,
chip
I work in a bar too. I havn't had a drink since Sept. 24 2005. That's an absolute miracle!!!
Congrads on not getting drunk for 5 days! When I was still drinking, that would be a major acomplishment for me. I'm an alcoholic, and admiting it was a major acomplishment for me as well. It's good to question your drinking, if you feel you may have a problem. You are on the right path, and SR is a good place to get some resources.
When did I quit? Why?
I started heavy binge drinking on weekends, and then turned into a "full blown" alcoholic when I started getting into my *music career*. I spent most of my life in bars from that point on....and daily drinking and binging became a way of life for me. When I got married, landed a good job, and started having children...I started "cutting back".
I stuggled with "controled" drinking for about 3 years or so. Even then, I'd have a black out drunk at least every 10 days. I drank every day, and I *needed* to have a drink or two in me at all times, in order to feel *normal*. I would wake up in the middle of the night sometimes, and have a shot of whiskey. I would have a cold beer first thing in the morning sometimes when I had a bad hangover. I'd drink all night, and pass out in weird places ie; the flower bed, the basement stairs etc... I would sometimes wake up with blood all over me from some sort of misadventure..
Stuff like this, plus the fact that my "cutting back" wasn't really working... drove me to quit drinking. I actually *tricked myself* into quitting. At the time, I was trying forced moderation by keeping track of my drinks on a chart. After my last night of disapointing myself...by not sticking to my goal of moderation...I decided to deprive myself of alcohol as a punishment for being so weak. I went for one day, then two days...then I decided to go for 30 days. At 7 days into my abstinence...I went to AA. The rest is history.
I now live day by day without drinking or smoking pot. I am so grateful for sobriety, and I wish you all the best in your journey. If you are suffering from alcoholism, Melanie, I hope you will find peace. I hope you will be able to find your own sober recovery. Keep coming back to SR. There's lots of us who have the same struggles as you.
peace out,
chip
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
