She Drinks Again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
Posts: 416
She Drinks Again
Well...as predicted my wayward wife is drinking again. As you know, I rescued her at Christmas, got her in to to a surgeon to fix her ankle...sent her home to her parents.
Well she came back to our home town for another date with the courts and another operation. She started drinking on the plane and is off to parts unknown with her rehab lover again. This loser is still a very active alcoholic and just beat his wife when she confronted him about my wayward wife calling him.
Oh well.....her life continues to spiral down. No bottom yet...just plateaus.
She is in the hands of God.....or as I said earlier, the grip of the devil!
Well she came back to our home town for another date with the courts and another operation. She started drinking on the plane and is off to parts unknown with her rehab lover again. This loser is still a very active alcoholic and just beat his wife when she confronted him about my wayward wife calling him.
Oh well.....her life continues to spiral down. No bottom yet...just plateaus.
She is in the hands of God.....or as I said earlier, the grip of the devil!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
Posts: 416
Time to Let Go
Hi Jazz,
Yep...time to let go. I have lived up to everthing in the separation aggrement. Should be able to get my divorce in about eight more months.
Nothing I can do for her. SHe had her best chance for real recovery back home. But she was dry drunk there. Planned before she ever started drinking again to hook up with her loser rehab lover before she even got on the plane.
She suppose to be in court today. I hope they trow the book at her!
She supposedly has an appointment with her doctor tomorrow. I wonder how she will get there? I wonder if loverboy will be there?
I am tempted to be there. I would really like to get my hands on him! He likes to beat on women.....I lwould like to let him try it on me!!!!
Yep...time to let go. I have lived up to everthing in the separation aggrement. Should be able to get my divorce in about eight more months.
Nothing I can do for her. SHe had her best chance for real recovery back home. But she was dry drunk there. Planned before she ever started drinking again to hook up with her loser rehab lover before she even got on the plane.
She suppose to be in court today. I hope they trow the book at her!
She supposedly has an appointment with her doctor tomorrow. I wonder how she will get there? I wonder if loverboy will be there?
I am tempted to be there. I would really like to get my hands on him! He likes to beat on women.....I lwould like to let him try it on me!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
the saying from al-anon - "more will be revealed" comes to mind here. sorry to hear that she has yet to reach her bottom. glad you used the words "tempted to be there" and not "i will be there". keep moving forward guy - hugs to you and your kids for continued peace. i hope someday she finds sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Sometimes I use to plot out what revenge I would get on my ex-abf...
BOY Im glad now that I did not do any of those things. I would check up on him all the time, where he was, who he was with etc.... Let it go Guy... it will only eat at your insides and bring your thinking down with her. That is why I would advise no contact if at all possible and I did all I could not to do the check up thing with him. Though I was not good all the time, the longer away from it the less I did it the better my life got and my attitude.
*hugs* take care of you and yours..
BOY Im glad now that I did not do any of those things. I would check up on him all the time, where he was, who he was with etc.... Let it go Guy... it will only eat at your insides and bring your thinking down with her. That is why I would advise no contact if at all possible and I did all I could not to do the check up thing with him. Though I was not good all the time, the longer away from it the less I did it the better my life got and my attitude.
*hugs* take care of you and yours..
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Guy, I am so sorry to hear all this, really hard stuff.
All I can say is I think of you often. Please keep posting, as it helps to vent here and also here you are not alone. Keep making your meetings, Enjoy your childern, and hang on. HUGS
All I can say is I think of you often. Please keep posting, as it helps to vent here and also here you are not alone. Keep making your meetings, Enjoy your childern, and hang on. HUGS
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Guy,
Its so disappointing when this happens.
Ive gotten to the point where I allow myself no
expectations for D. I can have expectations for myself
but when I have them for him, it just sets me up to get hurt.
Sounds like she isnt ready. As for her new man who likes to hurt her,
dont own that issue, its not yours and you can not do anything anout it if she
wont do anything about it.
Its so disappointing when this happens.
Ive gotten to the point where I allow myself no
expectations for D. I can have expectations for myself
but when I have them for him, it just sets me up to get hurt.
Sounds like she isnt ready. As for her new man who likes to hurt her,
dont own that issue, its not yours and you can not do anything anout it if she
wont do anything about it.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
At times I wonder how you know certain details about her schedule, where abouts and habits. If you're snooping or checking up on her via mutual "freinds", you need to stop. You will only make yourself crazy.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lost in NC
Posts: 416
The news follows me
She told me when she was coming back into town, her court date, her surgery date etc.
The other mans wife called me when she found my wifes number on her phone. We have develped some kind of friendship through this maddness. The OM beat his wife when she confronted him about his relationship with my STBXW.
My STBXW former roomate called me with other details.
I did not request the information, did not go look for the info. Complete no contact is not possible because of the kids.
Anyway.....my wife, then one I knew is gone. There is now only an alcoholic who is slowly committing suicide.
The other mans wife called me when she found my wifes number on her phone. We have develped some kind of friendship through this maddness. The OM beat his wife when she confronted him about his relationship with my STBXW.
My STBXW former roomate called me with other details.
I did not request the information, did not go look for the info. Complete no contact is not possible because of the kids.
Anyway.....my wife, then one I knew is gone. There is now only an alcoholic who is slowly committing suicide.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
*hugs*
Im sorry your hurting.... I know with the kids its alot harder too, maybe the next time they call you just let them know that your ex is not a topic up for discusson.
Im sure your going to hear things anyway because you have children together... but its always one thing after another with them and it keeps us on that roller coaster ride as well, that is the part I would like to see you get away from... just some space to heal is all.
Im sorry your hurting.... I know with the kids its alot harder too, maybe the next time they call you just let them know that your ex is not a topic up for discusson.
Im sure your going to hear things anyway because you have children together... but its always one thing after another with them and it keeps us on that roller coaster ride as well, that is the part I would like to see you get away from... just some space to heal is all.
How Important Is It?
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cyberia
Posts: 612
This is very sad and painful for you. I'm so sorry that you and your kids have to go through this.
Prayers for you, your kids, and your wife, who is fighting a battle for her life, whether she realizes it or not.
Prayers for you, your kids, and your wife, who is fighting a battle for her life, whether she realizes it or not.
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Hey guy...take the energy you're focusing on her and put it into yourself and your girls. And when anyone calls that's associated with her other than an attorney representing her in the divorce (if there is one), hang up. They'll get the message. As long as you know her ups, down and outs, you're still connected with her disease. Even divorced, you will still be dragged into her life if you don't completely sever the ties. The sooner the better.
A P.S. here...just saw the post above mine. Why do you insist on keeping her and the girls connected? IMO, their hopes will be lifted when they get to see her and than blasted to pieces when she doesn't keep in touch or keep visitation dates.
Blessings
A P.S. here...just saw the post above mine. Why do you insist on keeping her and the girls connected? IMO, their hopes will be lifted when they get to see her and than blasted to pieces when she doesn't keep in touch or keep visitation dates.
Blessings
Getting busy living!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Worcester MA
Posts: 199
Hey Guy, I'm so sorry. Focus on your girls and yourself. Your wife is gonna do what she's gonna do and there's nothing you can do about it. Don't forget about your girls or yourself, ever! What's going on sucks but take it as an opportunity to allow you and your girls to become even more close. ((((hugs)))) to you all.
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