hello??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Lincoln, IL
Posts: 1
hello??
O.K. Here goes,
I am 40 years old and my mate (X-spouse) is 31 and 1/2... notice i use every month possibe??
I have been married 3 times and divorced 3 times... Back together with my third X...
My first hubby was a complete alchoholic.. his dad owned a bar... he cheated on me alot and never came home... He started getting into alot of stuff that was really bad (no violence) and I got smart and got away, lived with a friend for a while and worked for very little but I made it somehow.
Married hubby #2 in 1992, ( my son was barely 5) Oh yes I did have a son by that first one... I was 21 years old when he was born. hubby #2 was a county cop when we met.. I did not like drinking or partying at all but I did smoke.
He wanted me to quit so I tried, to no avail, he got pissed off and took them away and tried to control me, but we all know that does not work...
I became an alchoholic... The very thing I was trying to avoid... I became..........I was so lonely, so bored and so needy. We had 2 beautiful daughters together... I left him in late "96 but he talked me into comming back ........only to trick me into failure. We got into an arguement one night and I left. The next day while I was at work I got served with an order of protection, and could not go home...
I lost my daughters, to this cop who was by then a state cop...
I found someone who was in the middle,, He is a beer drinker, he loves to have fun
but he is very abusive and can be downright abusive in both physical and emotional ways...He gets in my face when he is mad and has thrown me across the room (literally) when he is mad, with really no reason except that he is drunk and stupid... Of course he is always sorry and ashamed the next day... Although this sounds horrible he has quit drinking but sneaks it sometimes... (vodka) ............ And when he is being good ( not drinking) he is the most affectionate and caring and loving man I have ever known and I do love him... We do have a 3 year old son... My son also shows violent dendancies... The more I see my sons violent signs, the more, I feel that maybe my hubby really can't control his, it is like it is built in or something. Because we are not violent with him at all. I worry that he is going to be violent when he gets older..
I am 40 years old and my mate (X-spouse) is 31 and 1/2... notice i use every month possibe??
I have been married 3 times and divorced 3 times... Back together with my third X...
My first hubby was a complete alchoholic.. his dad owned a bar... he cheated on me alot and never came home... He started getting into alot of stuff that was really bad (no violence) and I got smart and got away, lived with a friend for a while and worked for very little but I made it somehow.
Married hubby #2 in 1992, ( my son was barely 5) Oh yes I did have a son by that first one... I was 21 years old when he was born. hubby #2 was a county cop when we met.. I did not like drinking or partying at all but I did smoke.
He wanted me to quit so I tried, to no avail, he got pissed off and took them away and tried to control me, but we all know that does not work...
I became an alchoholic... The very thing I was trying to avoid... I became..........I was so lonely, so bored and so needy. We had 2 beautiful daughters together... I left him in late "96 but he talked me into comming back ........only to trick me into failure. We got into an arguement one night and I left. The next day while I was at work I got served with an order of protection, and could not go home...
I lost my daughters, to this cop who was by then a state cop...
I found someone who was in the middle,, He is a beer drinker, he loves to have fun
but he is very abusive and can be downright abusive in both physical and emotional ways...He gets in my face when he is mad and has thrown me across the room (literally) when he is mad, with really no reason except that he is drunk and stupid... Of course he is always sorry and ashamed the next day... Although this sounds horrible he has quit drinking but sneaks it sometimes... (vodka) ............ And when he is being good ( not drinking) he is the most affectionate and caring and loving man I have ever known and I do love him... We do have a 3 year old son... My son also shows violent dendancies... The more I see my sons violent signs, the more, I feel that maybe my hubby really can't control his, it is like it is built in or something. Because we are not violent with him at all. I worry that he is going to be violent when he gets older..
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Hi Deb and Welcome to SR, this is a great site.
I cannot offer any advise as I never had any experience with violence or anger. Just wanted to say Welcome as this is a quiet time of night, but never know who will pop in to share.
You mentioned you became alcoholic, are you in recovery or still drinking?? I am both AA and Al-Anon. They both and this site are life savers.
Again Welcome, and keep coming back.
I cannot offer any advise as I never had any experience with violence or anger. Just wanted to say Welcome as this is a quiet time of night, but never know who will pop in to share.
You mentioned you became alcoholic, are you in recovery or still drinking?? I am both AA and Al-Anon. They both and this site are life savers.
Again Welcome, and keep coming back.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
(((deb1k4)))
Violence is a learned behavior. If your child has been in the same house when your H is being violent your son is leaning this even if he is asleep. Children are like sponges in their enviroment and pick up on more than we realize. He sees his dad having poor impulse control and this is where he gets it.
As far as your H throwing you across the room and being violent with you in my opinion you need to have him arrested the next time he does it so he can be put into "anger management " classes so he can learn how to get a grip on his anger cause it can get worse. Your son is watching and learning do you want him to grow up and do the samethigs to his family? It really is your call...you don't deserve it ya know.
Violence is a learned behavior. If your child has been in the same house when your H is being violent your son is leaning this even if he is asleep. Children are like sponges in their enviroment and pick up on more than we realize. He sees his dad having poor impulse control and this is where he gets it.
As far as your H throwing you across the room and being violent with you in my opinion you need to have him arrested the next time he does it so he can be put into "anger management " classes so he can learn how to get a grip on his anger cause it can get worse. Your son is watching and learning do you want him to grow up and do the samethigs to his family? It really is your call...you don't deserve it ya know.
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