Mr. Christian

Hello,

Well I went last night to my first session with my therapist.
I felt good about it and it went well in my eyes.
The discussion of meds did come up and we are holding that right now as an option.
She does know of program so this was good also.
We spent some time going over the framework of my life and after I got done she wondered when I was going to be angry.
I told her that I agree that I do not know why that I have not gotten mad by now and she felt that it was an important part of the healing and grief process.


After I told her of what had happened I sat back and thought, dude you got messed up here!

It was it seemed the 1st time I really felt this way, and I even told her that.
If it was anyone else I would say “RUN”.

She does feel also that no matter how I do or did feel about my wife, she is in no place and maybe never was to return these feelings.

So I do go back next week and she gave me some homework to do.
All and all I think it went well.

sarah25

good 4 u Christian, see mine tomorrow, thank god, finally found one who doesn't make me feel inferior and will share her life experiances w/me! a week between apointments is too long! Hope yours works out the best 4u Must be crazy to be looking back now, can't imagine. I will never get away.

gelfling

Good for you Christian.

Pick-a-name

Hi, Mr. C. Glad you posted about this. I was thinking about you yesterday and wondering how it went. I am glad it seems to be a good match for you.

I have been taking meds for awhile. It helps smooth over things a little....not saw raw and reactive; at least most of the time I took them in the past and then went off them for awhile; then got to a point where I knew I should go back on them. My kids have done the same. We really do not want to take them, if we don't think it is really necessary, but if/when we get to that point, we take advantage of them instead of being a (miserable) martyr! I am sure you will decide what is best. I guess my point is; they can help. If you need them, take them without "guilt",etc.

You sound better. Hope you are feeling that way,too.

Susan

robina

It sounds like your counselling session went really well, and you gained some important insights.

I've gotten a lot of help from my addictions counsellor. The local treatment center here offers counselling to family members of alcoholics.

Al-anon is great, but the "one on one" time with my counsellor helps me focus on my issues for a full hour, which is very helpful and healing.

Cynay

Im happy to hear that Mr. C.... feels good to get it out.

I find it amazing to talk through stuff, and often I get the light bulb moment by saying it out loud, even if its to myself in the car.

Hard to realize how messed up it was till we remove ourself from it and get some recovery.

Glad it was a good click.

cwohio

mr. c - i am so happy you went and saw a therapist. i know you and i discussed the anger thing before - that was a good observation on her part. she sounds like a good fit for you. hope you continue seeing her and can move to a better place in your life than you have been for a while cuz.... YOU DESERVE IT!!!

sarah25

pick a name, what meds are you talking about? Anti-depression? I am sick of being the miserable martyr!! My therapist offered to put my A on some new stuff to stop the craving for drink but he refused "don't crave it" (yeah....right...) They put me on zoloft when I was a teen, prone to be depressed anyway but I don't remember it helping. I feel like i need something now though, I never take anything but tylenol! Plus I breastfeed, wonder what would work? I suffer very badly each year from severe winter depression, also, anyone know what blockers are? My A said he would take them, makes you puke when you drink is that right? I don't think meds are the awnser for him, I mean, he has to WANT to improve, not be physically forced to by meds right?

rivercitybelle

Mr. C... Welcome to the bridge leading to the other side!
See there really is a light and this really was only a tunnel.
Keep up the GREAT progress!

meli2005

Glad it went well. I think the therapy will be good for you to get some of these feelings out in the open.

Zoey

Mr, C... I am so happy for you. Talk therapy is the greatest. Keep us posted. HUGS

denny57

This is what usually happens to me, too. The most amazing have been when I am talking about my family of origin and the statements I make are verbatim to ones I have made about my AH. This is when I understand that I am truly making the same choices over and over again. Awareness nudges change.

Good luck to you.

pmaslan

Terrific news....glad you feel comfortable with this therapist....

Pick-a-name

Hi Sarah: I am on Zoloft now (have trued others ) and Straterra for ADD. I also have SAD, I guess. My Doc suggested a special full spectrum light last year, or to at least try to get outside ant lunch time,if possible for so natural light (and fresh air and exercise.) He does that; he gets it,too.

My kids are on Lexapro and Celexa (they each take only one) but those are more for anxiety symptoms. The aslo had a med it the get anxiety attacks; fortunately neither of them has had to use that more than a time or two.

Good luck. It can be discouraging, and do take several weeks before they start to "work". Mine have been changed and/or adjusted....once we get some combo that works, I still go in every 3-4 months to assess it.

Perhaps your A is talking about anabuse? (SP?) I have no experience with anything like that. My AH "doesn't have a problem" so he has never stopped drinking. (He has been a daily drinker for at least 20 yrs..probably closer to 35) I am sure that others here can tell you about this kind thing.

CatsTail

Good for you for taking the Mr. Christian!

Ngaire

reader

I aggree with whoever said that she seems like a good fit. Talk away my dear, and do lots of homework. LOL I can see the light in the tunnel for you, I hope you are plucking along, thats all we can do. With love,

dollydo

Mr C,

Keep opening up, share your deepest feelings....let her, help you out of your pain..and open a new door for you...

My best,

Dolly

mallowcup

I think it is very reassuring to have your sanity confirmed, your fears validated and the guidance of someone who can help you set boundaries. Once a week probably doesn't seem like enough. I think as a loved on of an alcoholic you wing it, never being sure if you are helping or enabling. As an alcoholic it allows you to talk to someone who doesn't get hurt by anything you say, therefore you can be more honest.

Mr. Christian

I do need to work through some of this stuff.
Alanon does not seen to help with some of these issues I’m dealing with.
I do meet with a divorce group today also.
My therapist recommended that I go check them out.
They deal with grief and loss and she feels I need to get past all that, I tell you I still feel it and it rips me apart.

Even this morning I woke up with my two cats by my side and I began to cry, this isn’t normal.

cwohio

mr. c - let us know how the divorce group works out. even tho i was not divorced i think i might benefit from attending something like that. you've only just begun your therapy so be gentle with yourself. it will take some time to open up and let all the "stuff" out. i think the interaction with other folks will help you heal - i know it has in my case. BTW - i was feeling a bit insane and blue last night myself - you are not alone.