BSPGirl

Bad urges today....I wanna snort a line of coke...I know it's not the brightest idea ever. But yeah...

I guess I need someone to talk to or something. But there ain't many ppl who care about someone like me. Yeah my gf does, but she's on trip due to work. I keep thinking how upset she'll be if she finds out about me slipping tho. Well yeah...I'm still not giving in.

(cross posted in the substance abuse forum, btw)

Sugah

It's hard to keep everyone straight as to the method of recovery they've chosen. I think you follow SMART? I don't know much about that, though I think what I'm going to suggest won't conflict with it.

I was taught, when the desire was on me, to "play the tape through." If I snort a line of coke, where is it going to lead me? Not to the high...but after. Is that somewhere I want to go?

I was also taught (and this may sound so first grade) that if I don't like what I'm thinking about, think about something else. There's some kind of perverse pleasure we get out of dwelling on harmful thoughts....and it is a tendency that can be changed. I'm not suggesting stuffing thoughts or feelings that need to be addressed, but a little diversionary tactic with the old noodle is not a bad thing when the thought manifests a harmful action.

If you do believe in a HP, I'm praying for you. If you don't...I'm praying for you anyway

Keep posting. Don't pick up. Keep repeating until the urge passes....and you'll be okay.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

BSPGirl

Awww thanks Sugah, what you said didn't conflict at all with SMART's approach. (yeah maybe the HP thing ) I am looking at what ppl at smart call "my CBA" (Cost Benefit Analysis) in short it's the pro's and con's of using and clean life. I see the con's of using outweighing the pro's and I see the pro's of clean life outweighing the con's. So that's good. I know I can stand these urges. I'm reading the DISARM tool at SMART.

About your prayer: no I don't believe in any of that but I appreciate you praying for me anyway, if that makes sense.

Thanks for your reply, I'll try to post more later on.

BSPGirl

Yeah true enough. I'm not gonna let feeling a bit down for now let me kick my ass and give in, this too shall pass. I'ma go read some funny literature, that'll help for sure.

Cathy31

Thinking of you...what about just going to bed early and you'll wake up so refreshed tomorrow! Those urges are tough, though I can relate!

Hope to see you here tomorrow!

I definitely think you can resist it!

Sugasnaps

Hey BSP, I care about someone like you cuz you are someone like me. **{Hugs}} Don't let you get you. You really can get through these moments of feeling the urge. You really can do it.

Super idea of watching or reading something funny. Laughter helps me a ton.

Hang in there,

Suga

BSPGirl

Awww thanks all, I'm beginning to feel better and yeah I might go to bed early tonight.

ASH

Hi BSP Girl,
I know it has been said before but this go round just thinking, I am not going to do that right now, seems to be working. The less I thing about not drinking forever and stay in the right now minute just simplifies it for me.
It is simple enough even I can do it.
Sounds like a good reveiw of you CBA worked well for you.
Hope the craving has passed and you get a good night sleep,
Take care

BSPGirl

Hey all, I didn't give in and I'm proud. My gf called last night so I didn't get much sleep anyway but it was well worth it. Thanks for all your help.

Cathy31

Wonderful!