eyeswideopen

It was the Sunday before Xmas, my “A” & I went Xmas shopping for our 7 yr old son, my “A” is on something and acting goofy, it’s making me sick, the smell even sicken me. Luckly I know what to get my son and make a bee line for all the stores, the “A” is just my Jack A— carring all the packages. By the time we get home the “A” stumbling & mumbling, I figure I’ll go get our son from the sitter and by time we get back the “A” will had fallen into bed. When we got back the “A” wasn’t in bed but we weren’t home long before the “A” did go to bed. Do you think he stay in bed this nite? Nooooooo, I wasn’t going to be that lucky, he get up to try to start a fight with me, did I ever turn the other cheek, my mine was screaming, I don’t know how I kept myself together, how I kept myself from saying something, I was the woman of STEEL, it was great and sad due to what I did next. I left the house with my son and we drove around looking at Xmas lights while eating McD in the car. When we got home we went to the very back of the house, turned the TV on very softly, and cuddle up on the couch next to each other, I pray the rest of the night that the “A” didn’t get up. The “A” didn’t.

The next day the “A” goes to work with no ideas as to why I was feeling and looking a little stress this morning, all is well in the “A” world.....the f---er.

Here it is, here is what I really want to tell everyone, this next day I take my son to go see Santa and while we are walking in the mall looking around, thinking about what my son should ask for from Santa. I felt it, it started in my toes, then spunned around my ankles, moved to my knees, skipped jump up my thigh, slidded up my hips, did somersaults in my stomach, bubbled in my heart, hopped into my neck, and at last came out of my mouth.

Want to know what it was, it was LAUGHTER, true pure LAUGHTER, loud LAUGHTER, the from out of nowhere LAUGHTER. It actually scare me for a minute but then I realize why shouldn’t I be happy, made it thought last night, I’m with the one person whom I can love unconditioanlly (the no bunny slipper require unconditional love), the magic was everywhere and for one milli second in everyone. Too bad it can’t be magically spiritual like that all the time........nooooo, welcome to the real world of the “A’s” lurking in the dark deep corners, waiting, looking, wanting, hoping to hurt us, to give us nightmares, and to make us sad. Little do they know not with our friends here they won't.
Thanks for letting tell this. Lot of Hugs

Ann

Eyeswideopen

Thank you for a great story. It just goes to show you that the key to your happines is held by you, and not anyone else.

Your son is lucky to have a great mom like you, and I know that he must be a special joy to you.

My prayers for much happiness for you both this year.

lyn_blossom78

I've never had my "A" get up in the middle of the night, but I've shaken in bed for hours waiting for him to go to bed and quit tearing up the house, waking up the kids, waking me up to "pick a fight" or abusing my dogs. Some of the things he's done! Then in the morning--he is one big kiss-up! Like as if he doesn't remember exactly what he did, but he knows he ought to be sorry for it. Hang in there. I'll pray for you and your son. Perhaps praying for others may take my mind off my own worries.