Just realized

Old 01-14-2006, 12:10 AM
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Question Just realized

I had a lot of people tell me they thought my husband was an alcoholic and I didn't admit it to myself because he would only binge once a month (or so I thought) but they said that even once a month was enough if he was binging. I still didn't listen to those others but my husband admitted to me recently that he sometimes sneaks alcohol on the way home, and I have to face the fact that it was only through my demanding him that he did not drink more than that, before I made demands he was drinking a lot.

I have noticed recently that he has passive agressive tendancies and was wondering how much of passive aggressiveness can be connected with alcoholisim. He admitted that during the times he would quietly pick on me (being derogitive but yet acting innocent about it) was usually when he would sneak some alcohol before coming home. I have to face this is a greater issue than I wanted to admit and so I need to meet up with others dealing with thier loved ones and thier drinking, but I am scared to meet others because I am not that social of a person and don't usually feel comfortable taking steps to go to meetings like al anon. I am scared because I am not sure what goes on in those meetings and how one goes about setting it up.

If anyone can tell me some of what goes on with al anon I would appreciate it

Thank you

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Old 01-14-2006, 12:59 PM
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Thanks

Thank you so much idget for the response and link, I think you are right that I need to take this at my own pace and it helps to know I have this online community, its often the best way I communicate is online since i can think about what I type before I type it.

I have so many questions, worries, fears and sadness and even a sense of relief right now and I know that I will be using this forum quite a lot at times depending on my life at the time.

I know this is the right step forward because so many things I have been doing up until now have not provided me the same sense that I am facing now, I feel blessed to have discovered the answer to so many things in my life and even though it means that I have to face past my denial which I hid so well in, I know that I am in the right direction now.

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Old 01-14-2006, 08:46 PM
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Welcome,
I am also new here on SR. I am so glad I found this place and I am here to stay! I also haven't went to a meeting but as soon as schedules change around my household I will be able to make it to one, and I will go to at least 6 as was also suggested to me! I've made up my mind to do at least that.
BTW- my husband use to do that binge drinking in the car on the way home thing too (for the past three years.) and I am sorry but I call that an Alcoholic of coarse he didn't! I later found out things were worse than just drinking on the way home! But my AH also has back problems and got addicted to pain pills and ended up in rehab. Anyway, good luck to you and hang around here you'll be glad you did!
Stacey
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Old 01-14-2006, 09:05 PM
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repressed: my ah is also a binge drinker. It's hard to think of them as alcoholics sometimes because they go through periods of sobriety. I think that often times, society paints a picture of the alcoholic as a non-functioning, in the bar every night, can't keep a job, etc. and then it's hard to look at someone that doesn't drink every day or night and see them as an alcoholic.
My ah is an alcoholic. It took him years to come to terms with that, accept it, and admit it. He knows that at anytime he takes that first drink, he will fall right into the old pattern. But it took him finally reaching a point of being able to swallow his pride enough to admit it.
I hope that you will continue to come here to SR. I also hope that you will find a meeting (when you are ready) so that you have that personal contact with others that have shared in your struggles through this illness. You are about to embark on a real journey - the journey of YOUR life! Hope you stick around so you can grow with us here.
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