Looking for some help!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davison, Michigan
Posts: 5
Looking for some help!
A bit of info on me. I didn't try illegle drugs until i was 18, im 24 now,....after smokeing pot once a week for a month...it became a few times a week and well, then i tried just about every drug i could think of. I can see how people would be addicted to the hard drugs, but i'm not the least bit...I could care less about any drugs, unless its weed. Every time ive looked for help or talked to anyone, I get the same type of response..."Marijuana is not addicting blah blah". Well thats the only thing im addicted to . I can't stop smoking this stuff...I have tried so much with self help programs and reading and talking to friends, never have i gone to a public recovery or talked to specialist. I'm very smart, which is why i feel i can't quit at this point in time...I play games withmyself not even realizing it...constantly i feel outsmarted becuase i know quiting is as simple as not picking up another bowl/joint, but i keep doing it even when i don't even really want to. Ive quit for 3 to 4 months probably 4 different times since i became a drug dealer when i was 19...i quit dealing drugs at 20 and moved out of state at 21...i made a great life for myself made it through school, had long term jobs, great friendships...but I find myself addicted to the point where ive been trying to quit for over a month, yet i've probably got high 25 out of the past 30 days...I can easily see the effects pot has on me and all the areas/aspects of my life. AND THAT IS WHY I NEED HELP...I CAN SEE HOW MUCH BETTER MY LIFE WOULD BE IF I WASN'T GETTING HIGH, YET I CAN'T STOP. I am very knowledgeable on not only the subject of what drugs do to the body/mind/spirit but also how to quit. I guess i just can't do it on my own this time, I just started back to college this last week, i can easily 4.0 my classes if i quit getting high....if i don't, im not sure what will happen. Ive been thinking, hey maybe i just need someone to talk to, so i decided to search the net for some forums that have educated and experinced people to help me get rid of the only thing that seems to hold me back in life from having everything i want. so well...thats it, i'm reaching for a helping hand...i'm very open minded and very open to any ideas ive tried or havn't even heard of.....sorry for typing so much, I'm not sure what else to do besides seek REAL LIFE professional help, and thats something I'M TRYING NOT TO DO. HELP ME PLEASE...
Support our Troops.
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Republic Of Texas
Posts: 452
Welcome to SoberRecovery.
I myself was addicted to pot for 37 years. I finally realized it in April 2004. I have since quit and life for me has got so much better.
I had to quit hanging with the same people although some of my good friends have quit along with me and my wife.
Before I came to SoberRecovery I would have said pot is not addictive. However, reading your life story written, and lived by others is a very powerful thing.
But just smoking pot was no big deal right? Others will say that pot is really not addictive. I think that you already know better than that. Myself, I believe that an addiction is an addiction. Pot, pills, alcohol, whatever, it is really doesn’t matter. In my book, the mindset or thought process is the same.
I have had issues with just about any kind of drug you can name. This includes an eight year fling with Vicodin and Soma, and a 2-3 year binge with Cocaine. I could quit any of the "hard drugs" and just smoke my pot. I have had more difficulty laying down the pot then any other drug.
Get rid of the weed you have left. Get rid of related items too, papers, pipes. Tell everyone you know of your decision to quit. Stay away from those who tempt you to smoke. After you quit you will find that most of your pothead friends will stop calling you to go out and party. Is this because you remind them of their own shortcomings (addictions)? Most likely it is the reason.
Read some the posts about pot on this site. Walking helps, petting the dog or cat, Build something, clean something. Your car, home, pet. Keeping busy will help keep your mind off smoking pot. This was helpful for us. We had to break the old routine of our lives.
You are the only one that can decide how to get clean and stay that way. Being able to cope with daily problems, and being comfortable in you own skin is important. Some people have great success with AA, NA, or other 12 step programs for this very reason
Myself, I relied on a strong will, support of my wife, and SoberRecovery. This is a decision only you can make.
A member Don S. known for collecting great links for help has a thread going that you should check out.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ams-81836.html
I myself was addicted to pot for 37 years. I finally realized it in April 2004. I have since quit and life for me has got so much better.
I had to quit hanging with the same people although some of my good friends have quit along with me and my wife.
Before I came to SoberRecovery I would have said pot is not addictive. However, reading your life story written, and lived by others is a very powerful thing.
But just smoking pot was no big deal right? Others will say that pot is really not addictive. I think that you already know better than that. Myself, I believe that an addiction is an addiction. Pot, pills, alcohol, whatever, it is really doesn’t matter. In my book, the mindset or thought process is the same.
I have had issues with just about any kind of drug you can name. This includes an eight year fling with Vicodin and Soma, and a 2-3 year binge with Cocaine. I could quit any of the "hard drugs" and just smoke my pot. I have had more difficulty laying down the pot then any other drug.
Get rid of the weed you have left. Get rid of related items too, papers, pipes. Tell everyone you know of your decision to quit. Stay away from those who tempt you to smoke. After you quit you will find that most of your pothead friends will stop calling you to go out and party. Is this because you remind them of their own shortcomings (addictions)? Most likely it is the reason.
Read some the posts about pot on this site. Walking helps, petting the dog or cat, Build something, clean something. Your car, home, pet. Keeping busy will help keep your mind off smoking pot. This was helpful for us. We had to break the old routine of our lives.
You are the only one that can decide how to get clean and stay that way. Being able to cope with daily problems, and being comfortable in you own skin is important. Some people have great success with AA, NA, or other 12 step programs for this very reason
Myself, I relied on a strong will, support of my wife, and SoberRecovery. This is a decision only you can make.
A member Don S. known for collecting great links for help has a thread going that you should check out.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ams-81836.html
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Staffs
Posts: 1
Hello Higherself. I am so sorry to read how you are struggling. I'm not a user msyelf but have logged onto the site because I am trying to support my daughter with very severe addiction problems. Your post reminded me of my daughter - very, very bright, knows everything there is to know about drugs except how to give them up! My daughter has been in treatment for a year for opiate addiction and she smokes weed constantly. It is a long road but she IS making progress. I would suggest that you try to get some professional addiction help. No-one can actually do it for you but you can be taught strategies for coping with getting off. Is there an underlying condition/stress that makes you want to be high all the time?
I'm truly sorry I can't offer any better words - but please try and get help - you deserve it.
I'm truly sorry I can't offer any better words - but please try and get help - you deserve it.
Soberus Maxus
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Hey High, High hey,
I smoked the stuff for 30 years I liked it obviously. There was a long time I thought it helped and maybe for my brain it did. I never really thought about quitting if it was there I just smoked it. I have to work with people there came a time when I did not feel sharp the next day. I still felt stoned. Thats when I had to cut down. I just didnt buy any. If I bought some I smoked it. I feel that it had an effect on my brain but I couldnt isolate it if you know what I mean.
I would begin to avoid it. Dont buy it. Make the decision when your tempted.
Try to find reasons not to use it. Say to yourself if I get stoned Im not going to be worth a darn for all night. Or all day whatever.
I just quit buying it. I dont miss it. I have bigger fish to fry.
I know how you feel addicted I just think that other things will take priority.
You cant smoke it your whole life your brain simply cant tolerate it and you know what I mean Right??? Or you wouldnt be questioning it.
Max-- formerly Stonedus Maxus Bakedus Oblivius
I smoked the stuff for 30 years I liked it obviously. There was a long time I thought it helped and maybe for my brain it did. I never really thought about quitting if it was there I just smoked it. I have to work with people there came a time when I did not feel sharp the next day. I still felt stoned. Thats when I had to cut down. I just didnt buy any. If I bought some I smoked it. I feel that it had an effect on my brain but I couldnt isolate it if you know what I mean.
I would begin to avoid it. Dont buy it. Make the decision when your tempted.
Try to find reasons not to use it. Say to yourself if I get stoned Im not going to be worth a darn for all night. Or all day whatever.
I just quit buying it. I dont miss it. I have bigger fish to fry.
I know how you feel addicted I just think that other things will take priority.
You cant smoke it your whole life your brain simply cant tolerate it and you know what I mean Right??? Or you wouldnt be questioning it.
Max-- formerly Stonedus Maxus Bakedus Oblivius
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: north carolina
Posts: 19
I think the biggest thing that got me totally away from pot was the friends I hung with. Once I started hanging out with people who didn't smoke weed...bam! Eventually it was like "I used to sit around all the time smoking dope? Huh, me?" I can't even believe how true the old saying is..."You are who you hang with." If you know damn well you are better than this, then once you change the routine, you will not go back. You're smart, and you know better, don't you? Find a crowd that raises you up, and you will rise above. I can tell by your post.
Best of luck to you, and keep posting!
Best of luck to you, and keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by higherself
I'm not sure what else to do besides seek REAL LIFE professional help, and thats something I'M TRYING NOT TO DO.
May I ask why thats something you are trying NOT to do? You clearly cant do this on your own and have never been able to. You said "I guess I cant do this on my own....THIS TIME" This time? When did you do it on your own before this time?? If you are using now,...you never quit on your own. Because it didnt work. Four times isnt enough to tell you that you cannot do this on your own?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davison, Michigan
Posts: 5
First I want to thank everyone here that has said anything supporting or encouraging to anyone in recovery.
I think most of you understand how important it is to have support, even just a ear to listen makes a huge difference. When I first found this site I read a hand full of post before making my own. I wasn't able to keep sober and clean at all until the last few days. The last time I drank/smoked pot was Thursday the 22nd of June. My d.o.c. is (was?) weed, but drinking for me leads to smoking weed...and in actuality any drug rather it be a pill or a cocktail leads me to an uncontrollable urge to smoke pot. So for me, I'm either completely clean from all drugs or I'm still hooked. I see most people have had the same experience, which is actually comforting and really makes me understand that I can't just have one drink of beer because I THINK I can control my alcohol.
There are a few reasons I wasn't willing to seek professional help:
1) I think it’s the "male" part of me that doesn’t need help and can do everything himself.
2) I was in denial and thought that because i had quit drugs for three months (showing me my willpower is strong enough to do it on my own) on a few different occasions only choosing to smoke again because I thought I had control and no addiction left, not to mention the numerous times I had quit for a couple weeks or a month to get a job or straighten out my life from the destruction drugs had caused. But after reading a lot of post and information on this site in the past few weeks I have realized 3 months is still part of the recovering period even though I felt like I had been over my addiction for at least a month before choosing to experience getting high again.
3) FEAR...I feared admitting to the public eye that I had a problem. I feared admitting to myself that I was out of my own control. I feared what my family would think and say, and I feared drastic change that would come from getting help...such as not being able to hang out with my friends.
I realize now, it was my addiction that was telling me these silly things. Silly because that is how I view them now that I've chosen to be sober and clean from here on out. Although this time I'm not going to have a drink or a joint after 3 months because I feel and think I have myself under control.
I wanted to apologize for having y’all extend your time and effort on supporting me and helping me only for me to drop off the forums for almost 6 months while I dove back into my addictions, but I don't think any of you would except my apology because you would be there for me even if it just helped in the smallest way and IT DID. To be honest, this site is and was the professional help I needed to quit.
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!!
I will continue to visit this site for it is very empowering for me to continue my goal in life of being sober and clean forever…one day at a time!
I think most of you understand how important it is to have support, even just a ear to listen makes a huge difference. When I first found this site I read a hand full of post before making my own. I wasn't able to keep sober and clean at all until the last few days. The last time I drank/smoked pot was Thursday the 22nd of June. My d.o.c. is (was?) weed, but drinking for me leads to smoking weed...and in actuality any drug rather it be a pill or a cocktail leads me to an uncontrollable urge to smoke pot. So for me, I'm either completely clean from all drugs or I'm still hooked. I see most people have had the same experience, which is actually comforting and really makes me understand that I can't just have one drink of beer because I THINK I can control my alcohol.
There are a few reasons I wasn't willing to seek professional help:
1) I think it’s the "male" part of me that doesn’t need help and can do everything himself.
2) I was in denial and thought that because i had quit drugs for three months (showing me my willpower is strong enough to do it on my own) on a few different occasions only choosing to smoke again because I thought I had control and no addiction left, not to mention the numerous times I had quit for a couple weeks or a month to get a job or straighten out my life from the destruction drugs had caused. But after reading a lot of post and information on this site in the past few weeks I have realized 3 months is still part of the recovering period even though I felt like I had been over my addiction for at least a month before choosing to experience getting high again.
3) FEAR...I feared admitting to the public eye that I had a problem. I feared admitting to myself that I was out of my own control. I feared what my family would think and say, and I feared drastic change that would come from getting help...such as not being able to hang out with my friends.
I realize now, it was my addiction that was telling me these silly things. Silly because that is how I view them now that I've chosen to be sober and clean from here on out. Although this time I'm not going to have a drink or a joint after 3 months because I feel and think I have myself under control.
I wanted to apologize for having y’all extend your time and effort on supporting me and helping me only for me to drop off the forums for almost 6 months while I dove back into my addictions, but I don't think any of you would except my apology because you would be there for me even if it just helped in the smallest way and IT DID. To be honest, this site is and was the professional help I needed to quit.
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!!
I will continue to visit this site for it is very empowering for me to continue my goal in life of being sober and clean forever…one day at a time!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davison, Michigan
Posts: 5
Also...I wanted to tell everyone that my experince of quiting has been surprisingly wounderfull. I have had the best 4 days being clean then I have had in the the past 7 months!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Davison, Michigan
Posts: 5
Smyle you’re so right about that:
"Every person, all the events of your life
are there because you have drawn them there.
What you choose to do with them is up to you. ~~~Ricard Bach"
It wasn't until Monday that I truly realized I was serious this time about quitting because while I was outside doing yard work my neighbor came home. It happened to be an old friend of mine that is a girl. She was my "party" buddy...I have partied and done more drugs with her than anyone else in this world. What makes this so significant is that I haven’t seen her for close to 4 years, let alone talked to her do to her current boyfriend getting in a fight with her ex boyfriend (my best friend at the time). I had been out of the state for almost 3 years, during which her and her current boyfriend moved into the house next door to where I grew up, although I had already moved out of the state so I never saw her. I have been back for a little over a year; however they had moved to Florida and leased their house next door before I ever saw them. I had come back home to visit family on a number of occasions and never ran into them...heck they had moved back into their house next door over a week ago only to go up into the northern part of the state to their other property and I still hadn't seen them.
Funny thing about that is I would have probably ran into them if they hadn't gone north and if I had run into them it would have been before I made the decision to quit. Because of my mind set and weakness to my addictions it would have been near impossible for me to pass up on them inviting me over to their house to get high and party with them on a continuous occasion.
What is so outstanding to me in my mind is what she represents to me...it’s almost like this sort of TEST for me to see if I'm serious about my choice of sobriety. What stands out in my mind that is even more significant isn’t that it is just a test, but a HUGE burst of confidence in myself because of how this has all played out and the other day when she asked me “do you still smoke?” I SAID “NO, ACTUALLY I JUST QUIT A FEW DAYS AGO”. Then she says “that’s to bad” and I responded “I guess”. She then proceeded to tell me “if the van is in the driveway that means we are home and you can come over anytime”. The reason I feel that statement is also important to disclose to y’all is to show you that we still had that same closeness as if it never left, which makes this experience even “bigger” and more powerful to me.
Sorry so long….I just really thought this to be very significant and then I read your quote Smyle and I just HAD to share it with you and everyone else as it gave even more power to me and my recovery!!!
I completely agree with you that we draw the people and events into our lives as I've proven this in my life over and over again. What we do with them is what declares who we are as a human being.
I thank you all for being here for me and listening to what I have to say. I can't express how deeply grateful I really am for everyone on this site!
"Every person, all the events of your life
are there because you have drawn them there.
What you choose to do with them is up to you. ~~~Ricard Bach"
It wasn't until Monday that I truly realized I was serious this time about quitting because while I was outside doing yard work my neighbor came home. It happened to be an old friend of mine that is a girl. She was my "party" buddy...I have partied and done more drugs with her than anyone else in this world. What makes this so significant is that I haven’t seen her for close to 4 years, let alone talked to her do to her current boyfriend getting in a fight with her ex boyfriend (my best friend at the time). I had been out of the state for almost 3 years, during which her and her current boyfriend moved into the house next door to where I grew up, although I had already moved out of the state so I never saw her. I have been back for a little over a year; however they had moved to Florida and leased their house next door before I ever saw them. I had come back home to visit family on a number of occasions and never ran into them...heck they had moved back into their house next door over a week ago only to go up into the northern part of the state to their other property and I still hadn't seen them.
Funny thing about that is I would have probably ran into them if they hadn't gone north and if I had run into them it would have been before I made the decision to quit. Because of my mind set and weakness to my addictions it would have been near impossible for me to pass up on them inviting me over to their house to get high and party with them on a continuous occasion.
What is so outstanding to me in my mind is what she represents to me...it’s almost like this sort of TEST for me to see if I'm serious about my choice of sobriety. What stands out in my mind that is even more significant isn’t that it is just a test, but a HUGE burst of confidence in myself because of how this has all played out and the other day when she asked me “do you still smoke?” I SAID “NO, ACTUALLY I JUST QUIT A FEW DAYS AGO”. Then she says “that’s to bad” and I responded “I guess”. She then proceeded to tell me “if the van is in the driveway that means we are home and you can come over anytime”. The reason I feel that statement is also important to disclose to y’all is to show you that we still had that same closeness as if it never left, which makes this experience even “bigger” and more powerful to me.
Sorry so long….I just really thought this to be very significant and then I read your quote Smyle and I just HAD to share it with you and everyone else as it gave even more power to me and my recovery!!!
I completely agree with you that we draw the people and events into our lives as I've proven this in my life over and over again. What we do with them is what declares who we are as a human being.
I thank you all for being here for me and listening to what I have to say. I can't express how deeply grateful I really am for everyone on this site!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
Congratulations on what you're doing so far. My suggestion to you is to try NA meetings. Online support is nice, but it is no substitute for meeting with real people in real time. I, too, had a big problem with pot. I have been able to stay clean for over 21 years thanks to NA meetings and the 12 steps. I am certain that I could not have done what I've done without NA.
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