How do you know?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Detroit
Posts: 61
How do you know?
How do/did you know if you might have a problem with drinking?
How do you know if you are in denial?
If everything is fine in my life but I drink a lot, do I have a problem?
How do you know if you are in denial?
If everything is fine in my life but I drink a lot, do I have a problem?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 305
Hi Greenfish and Welcome!
I knew I had a problem when it bothered me too much. I would wake up in the morning and think, why did I do that...too many mornings!
I knew I had a problem when it interrupted my day and it became more important than sitting a writing a letter or doing something good for me or enjoying what was around me more than I enjoyed sitting with it. That is no way to live for me.
I knew I had a problem when my dh said to me, that's enough and I said, how dare you tell me that! It was more important to me than communication with my dh and that's not good.
I knew I had a problem when I snuck more than what everyone else thought I had!
In other words, there were so many times, I "thought" I had a problem or on the road to a problem, so here I am getting some help and seeing things a lot clearer and I have no problem with that!
I knew I had a problem when it bothered me too much. I would wake up in the morning and think, why did I do that...too many mornings!
I knew I had a problem when it interrupted my day and it became more important than sitting a writing a letter or doing something good for me or enjoying what was around me more than I enjoyed sitting with it. That is no way to live for me.
I knew I had a problem when my dh said to me, that's enough and I said, how dare you tell me that! It was more important to me than communication with my dh and that's not good.
I knew I had a problem when I snuck more than what everyone else thought I had!
In other words, there were so many times, I "thought" I had a problem or on the road to a problem, so here I am getting some help and seeing things a lot clearer and I have no problem with that!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Charlottesville, Va
Posts: 632
answer this pamphlet, substitute alcohol for drugs if you need to.
http://www.na.org/ips/eng/IP7.htm
http://www.na.org/ips/eng/IP7.htm
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
Hi Greenfish!
--When I realized just how much time & mental effort I was putting into drinking, planning to drink, sneaking a drink, hiding bottles/cans of alcohol from others, etc....then I had to face the fact that I had a problem. Whether I called it "alcoholism" or "a drinking problem" or whatever, it still needed to be addressed.
I realized drinking had become a way of life for me. I was your "basic mom", getting kids to & from school and everything. Sure, I wasn't out driving around getting DUI's, acting outrageous, or passed out somewhere...but everything in my daily life revolved around alcohol in one way or another. I was letting it steal me away from my kids, my husband, everything that really mattered. It dictated most all the decisions I made from day to day--which route to drive home from somewhere (got to stop into a liquor store), whether or not to go out for coffee with that old friend ("Nah--I'd rather stay home alone and have a 'little' wine.")
I knew it was a problem when I faced the fact that I was sneaking around so much just so I could hang out alone with my "best pal", alcohol. More and more, I would choose alcohol over anything else.
I hope you find the answers you need! Read lots of posts here--you may find you can relate.
Jane
How do/did you know if you might have a problem with drinking?
--When I realized just how much time & mental effort I was putting into drinking, planning to drink, sneaking a drink, hiding bottles/cans of alcohol from others, etc....then I had to face the fact that I had a problem. Whether I called it "alcoholism" or "a drinking problem" or whatever, it still needed to be addressed.
I realized drinking had become a way of life for me. I was your "basic mom", getting kids to & from school and everything. Sure, I wasn't out driving around getting DUI's, acting outrageous, or passed out somewhere...but everything in my daily life revolved around alcohol in one way or another. I was letting it steal me away from my kids, my husband, everything that really mattered. It dictated most all the decisions I made from day to day--which route to drive home from somewhere (got to stop into a liquor store), whether or not to go out for coffee with that old friend ("Nah--I'd rather stay home alone and have a 'little' wine.")
I knew it was a problem when I faced the fact that I was sneaking around so much just so I could hang out alone with my "best pal", alcohol. More and more, I would choose alcohol over anything else.
I hope you find the answers you need! Read lots of posts here--you may find you can relate.
Jane
Last edited by janeeyre; 01-11-2006 at 10:59 AM. Reason: typo
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
I knew when everything in my life revolved around getting drunk or being hungover as well as plan for those drunks and hangovers.....not to mention I hated what I had become. Lonely, miserable, bloated, sick, unhealthy, ugly...and I still had to drink as it was my ONLY "fun".
Cruelty-Free
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Body: South Florida Heart: Yosemite National Park
Posts: 914
Welcome to SR, greenfish!
I've found many times that when a person begins to question whether they have a problem...
...they usually have a problem, or are well on their way to one.
This is an interesting quiz you might try:
Alcohol quiz
I've found many times that when a person begins to question whether they have a problem...
...they usually have a problem, or are well on their way to one.
This is an interesting quiz you might try:
Alcohol quiz
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Racine, WI
Posts: 206
Hey Greenfish.........welcome to SR.
I had questioned myself for years....but I KNEW after attending only ONE AA meeting. It was at that meeting that I discovered REGULAR (non-alcoholic) people don't have the little talk with themselves before going out. As in they don't say "tonight I'm only having one......well, ok, maybe two but that's it cuz I'm driving". REGULAR people can and DO stop after one or two.........I never could. REGULAR people don't have black outs on a regular basis.....I did. REGULAR people don't usually regret the night before.....I did. REGULAR people don't fear the day because they can't remember what they did or said and are worried about somehting humiliating that may have occurred during a "drunk-on"....I did. REGULAR people don't usually question if they are alcoholic or not....I did.
There are soooooo many folks here at SR that will have much better responses........but I just wanted to give my own experience. I hope to keep seeing you around here.
I had questioned myself for years....but I KNEW after attending only ONE AA meeting. It was at that meeting that I discovered REGULAR (non-alcoholic) people don't have the little talk with themselves before going out. As in they don't say "tonight I'm only having one......well, ok, maybe two but that's it cuz I'm driving". REGULAR people can and DO stop after one or two.........I never could. REGULAR people don't have black outs on a regular basis.....I did. REGULAR people don't usually regret the night before.....I did. REGULAR people don't fear the day because they can't remember what they did or said and are worried about somehting humiliating that may have occurred during a "drunk-on"....I did. REGULAR people don't usually question if they are alcoholic or not....I did.
There are soooooo many folks here at SR that will have much better responses........but I just wanted to give my own experience. I hope to keep seeing you around here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Detroit
Posts: 61
Everyone
Okay, so about 15 years ago I was in a couple treatments centers for alcohol, I was in my late teens. I quit drinking.
Then through my 20s I smoked a lot of pot.
A couple of years ago I started drinking again, I am in my mid 30s. Things were going fine, I wasn't having many problems. I did have one severe drunk with full black out, but that was just once.
A couple of months ago I got seriously suicidal for the first time since I was a teen. I didn't drink while that was happening. But, it just occurred to me that I started drinking heavily again after that.
I am now drinking almost everyday. I drink alone and I hide my drinking. I had the shakes this morning. I had a couple drinks with lunch.
I don't know if this is just a phase that will pass again, or what?
I can't turn to anyone for help becuase then they will know that I have been hiding and lying (at least by omission) about my drinking. Truthfully, I think most of my life is going really great.
Also, I am getting back into weed. I have the sort of job that I would probably lose if I ever got into this kind of trouble.
What do I do?
Then through my 20s I smoked a lot of pot.
A couple of years ago I started drinking again, I am in my mid 30s. Things were going fine, I wasn't having many problems. I did have one severe drunk with full black out, but that was just once.
A couple of months ago I got seriously suicidal for the first time since I was a teen. I didn't drink while that was happening. But, it just occurred to me that I started drinking heavily again after that.
I am now drinking almost everyday. I drink alone and I hide my drinking. I had the shakes this morning. I had a couple drinks with lunch.
I don't know if this is just a phase that will pass again, or what?
I can't turn to anyone for help becuase then they will know that I have been hiding and lying (at least by omission) about my drinking. Truthfully, I think most of my life is going really great.
Also, I am getting back into weed. I have the sort of job that I would probably lose if I ever got into this kind of trouble.
What do I do?
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 889
Originally Posted by GreenFish
What do I do?
Welcome to SR, first of all. Secondly, to answer your question: get help and quit. Feeling suicidal is quite serious and since alcohol is a depressant that's not gonna help much. Take care, please. 
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
Greenfish,
Do you know why you were feeling suicidal? Hmm.
And now you've increased your drinking since then.
Really, I think you should get some help--coming on here to SR is a good start, but it would be a good idea look for something where you are, too. When you were in treatment years ago, what helped you then?
Do take care of yourself, okay? Please keep letting us know how you're doing.
Jane
Do you know why you were feeling suicidal? Hmm.
And now you've increased your drinking since then.
Really, I think you should get some help--coming on here to SR is a good start, but it would be a good idea look for something where you are, too. When you were in treatment years ago, what helped you then?
Do take care of yourself, okay? Please keep letting us know how you're doing.
Jane
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
I know what you mean about wanting to ask for help, but then the secret is out. Talking to people here is a great beginning since they seem to have seen just about every way you can slice the cake. BUT...It won't make your problem go away. YOU must take action. And there are people to turn to for help!
If you look through this site you'll find several different links to support groups. It sounds as if you could really use someone to talk to in real life even if it's not your best friend right now. Once you gain some understanding you will feel better about sharing with those closest to you. Everyone here will tell you over and over that if they are truly a friend, they'll support you. If they choose to not continue a friendship, then they weren't a true friend in the first place.
Please talk to someone and keep posting your progress. GOOD LUCK!
If you look through this site you'll find several different links to support groups. It sounds as if you could really use someone to talk to in real life even if it's not your best friend right now. Once you gain some understanding you will feel better about sharing with those closest to you. Everyone here will tell you over and over that if they are truly a friend, they'll support you. If they choose to not continue a friendship, then they weren't a true friend in the first place.
Please talk to someone and keep posting your progress. GOOD LUCK!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by GreenFish
Okay, so about 15 years ago I was in a couple treatments centers for alcohol, I was in my late teens. I quit drinking.
Then through my 20s I smoked a lot of pot.
A couple of years ago I started drinking again, I am in my mid 30s. Things were going fine, I wasn't having many problems. I did have one severe drunk with full black out, but that was just once.
A couple of months ago I got seriously suicidal for the first time since I was a teen. I didn't drink while that was happening. But, it just occurred to me that I started drinking heavily again after that.
I am now drinking almost everyday. I drink alone and I hide my drinking. I had the shakes this morning. I had a couple drinks with lunch.
I don't know if this is just a phase that will pass again, or what?
I can't turn to anyone for help becuase then they will know that I have been hiding and lying (at least by omission) about my drinking. Truthfully, I think most of my life is going really great.
Also, I am getting back into weed. I have the sort of job that I would probably lose if I ever got into this kind of trouble.
What do I do?
Then through my 20s I smoked a lot of pot.
A couple of years ago I started drinking again, I am in my mid 30s. Things were going fine, I wasn't having many problems. I did have one severe drunk with full black out, but that was just once.
A couple of months ago I got seriously suicidal for the first time since I was a teen. I didn't drink while that was happening. But, it just occurred to me that I started drinking heavily again after that.
I am now drinking almost everyday. I drink alone and I hide my drinking. I had the shakes this morning. I had a couple drinks with lunch.
I don't know if this is just a phase that will pass again, or what?
I can't turn to anyone for help becuase then they will know that I have been hiding and lying (at least by omission) about my drinking. Truthfully, I think most of my life is going really great.
Also, I am getting back into weed. I have the sort of job that I would probably lose if I ever got into this kind of trouble.
What do I do?
First of all,.......lemme just say ,.....whats up, D-town?.......Im in Livonia,....born in Detroit..........raised in Southfield.
Okay,.................it sounds to me like you answered most of your own questions in your last post. You dont get the shakes unless you are over-doing it. You just dont. Thats alcohol withdrawal. And your WRONG....you can turn to people. You should turn to people. That helps. It gets it out there and it being out there can really be a great tool to help persuade you to get help. If you are wondering if you have a problem, then 9 out of 10 times (and sometimes the tenth) you do. Normal drinkers dont wonder if they have a problem. I dont call the shakes, hiding your drinking, blackouts, worrying you have a drinking problem, lying about drinking, and drinking at lunch ( I assume this is during a work day?) ..........I wouldnt call any of that living a great life as you put it. You have already been in a treatment center for alcohol. And you smoke weed even though you know you will lose your very ability to pay your bills, pay your mortgage or rent, or feed yourself. This whole thing seems like a no-brainer. And also,....of course you think your life is going great right now. We ALL thought it was at the beginning. We werent homeless or alone or broke or unemployed the minute we picked up a drink. The material and emotional things drop like flies soon though. Its sad that it usually takes major set backs, legal trouble and great loss or possessions and loved ones and sometimes homes to FINALLY admit theres a problem. You have a rare opportunity here to side step all that BS before it happens and recognize this now and do something about it. I suggest you take it. I cant say you're an alcoholic,...only you can. But I can tell you that most determined they were with less things going on than you have.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Detroit
Posts: 61
Earlybird,
Right on, we are not far at all *nods* I am an Eastsider though
So.... okay, what the hell do I do? I got a couple of numbers I could call, I guess I will give that a shot. I feel really trapped about what to do. Ever know what you should do but you keep doing the wrong thing anyway?
I just can't figure out why I am doing this to myself again. I know the path I am on but I feel like I am sliding fast and I keep telling myself I can handle it. If I stop now there is no harm no foul, ya' know?
I just want to maintain a low level buzz for awhile.
Sorry - I know I sound like a fool.
Right on, we are not far at all *nods* I am an Eastsider though
So.... okay, what the hell do I do? I got a couple of numbers I could call, I guess I will give that a shot. I feel really trapped about what to do. Ever know what you should do but you keep doing the wrong thing anyway?
I just can't figure out why I am doing this to myself again. I know the path I am on but I feel like I am sliding fast and I keep telling myself I can handle it. If I stop now there is no harm no foul, ya' know?
I just want to maintain a low level buzz for awhile.
Sorry - I know I sound like a fool.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
Originally Posted by janeeyre
Hi Greenfish!
--When I realized just how much time & mental effort I was putting into drinking, planning to drink, sneaking a drink, hiding bottles/cans of alcohol from others, etc....then I had to face the fact that I had a problem. Whether I called it "alcoholism" or "a drinking problem" or whatever, it still needed to be addressed.
I realized drinking had become a way of life for me. I was your "basic mom", getting kids to & from school and everything. Sure, I wasn't out driving around getting DUI's, acting outrageous, or passed out somewhere...but everything in my daily life revolved around alcohol in one way or another. I was letting it steal me away from my kids, my husband, everything that really mattered. It dictated most all the decisions I made from day to day--which route to drive home from somewhere (got to stop into a liquor store), whether or not to go out for coffee with that old friend ("Nah--I'd rather stay home alone and have a 'little' wine.")
I knew it was a problem when I faced the fact that I was sneaking around so much just so I could hang out alone with my "best pal", alcohol. More and more, I would choose alcohol over anything else.
I hope you find the answers you need! Read lots of posts here--you may find you can relate.
Jane
--When I realized just how much time & mental effort I was putting into drinking, planning to drink, sneaking a drink, hiding bottles/cans of alcohol from others, etc....then I had to face the fact that I had a problem. Whether I called it "alcoholism" or "a drinking problem" or whatever, it still needed to be addressed.
I realized drinking had become a way of life for me. I was your "basic mom", getting kids to & from school and everything. Sure, I wasn't out driving around getting DUI's, acting outrageous, or passed out somewhere...but everything in my daily life revolved around alcohol in one way or another. I was letting it steal me away from my kids, my husband, everything that really mattered. It dictated most all the decisions I made from day to day--which route to drive home from somewhere (got to stop into a liquor store), whether or not to go out for coffee with that old friend ("Nah--I'd rather stay home alone and have a 'little' wine.")
I knew it was a problem when I faced the fact that I was sneaking around so much just so I could hang out alone with my "best pal", alcohol. More and more, I would choose alcohol over anything else.
I hope you find the answers you need! Read lots of posts here--you may find you can relate.
Jane
JMHS
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
I read your first post and came down here to reply. If, you think you have a problem you do. Granted a lot of us wouldn't admit we had a problem with drinking we did.
http://www.aa.org/default/en_about_aa.cfm?pageid=4
http://www.aa.org/default/en_about_aa.cfm?pageid=4
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
I just want to maintain a low level buzz for awhile.
And you don't "sound like a fool"! You just sound like a person realizing you need to change. It would only be foolish if you don't act on it. It's not easy to change or ask for help, but it is SO worth it.
Just think of the freedom & relief of not letting some liquid in a bottle/can (or weed) run your life.
I'm really glad you're here. I'm sure you can live sober, too.
Jane
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Okay,...no you dont sound like a fool. You just sound like a person who is hurting. A person who is addicted and doesnt want to be. Thats all. Theres no shame in it. ANYONE can become addicted. Its not that you're weak. Its not that others are stronger than this disease and you're just not. Like someone wrote earlier. The only thing to be ashamed of is knowing you have a problem and PURPOSELY continuing to drink. Check yourself into a treatment center. The reason it didnt work last time that years ago was that you didnt want it back then. You want it now. And that is the KEYEST of key factors in recovery. You MUST want it. Its impossible to maintain a low level buzz forever. Lets say normal feeling level for a human being is 10. Soon, you wake up at a level one,....and have to drink yourself to a level 10. That low level buzz may be a level 8 or 9. So to get there, since you wake up BELOW normal,...you must drink twice as much to attain that 8 or 9. The double amounts of alcohol it takes to achieve this plays havoc on your body. Soon,..the body simply goes into damage control and just starts rejecting any and all alcohol. You puke,...feel sick ALL THE TIME, and have seizures.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Only you can decide what you have to do. You have to take ownership in your decisions so you remain confident in your choices. We can support you but doing the deed gotta come for you. Your intelligent and know the right answers.
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