Help Me Help My Sister!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 4
Help Me Help My Sister!!!
7
HELLO, PLEASE HELP ME TO HELP MY SISTER!!
MY SISTER HAS A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH DRINKING. SHE HAS A GOOD JOB, 3 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, ALL OF THE THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE A PERFECT LIFE. SHE IS MANAGING TO STAY A FLOAT OF ALL THIS AND SHE MANAGES TO GET THE KIDS UP, OFF TO SCHOOL AND SHE (i'M SURE IT'S DIFFICULT TO PRETEND YOU DON'T HAVE A HANGOVER) ARRIVES INTO WORK EVERYDAY. SO FAR SO GOOD.
HOWEVER, I, MY PARENTS, HER OTHER SIBLINGS AND HER HUSBAND HAVE SEEN HER IN REAL ACTION. ONCE SHE STARTS DRINKING SHE CAN'T STOP, SHE JUST KEEPS GOING UNTIL SHE IS SLURRING HER WORDS AND BASICALLY UNTIL SHE IS RAMBLING ABOUT THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE TO US. SHE TELLS THE FAMILY THAT SHE IS SO UNORGANISED SO SHE CAN DROP DOWN TO THE STORE EVERYDAY, BUY FOOD FOR THE KIDS BUT ALSO, (SHE THINKS WE DON'T KNOW) TO STOCK UP ON ALCOHOL.
I FEEL SO SORRY FOR HER BECAUSE I KNOW THE GUILT EATS AWAY AT HER AND I KNOW THAT SHE REGRETS A LOT OF HER ACTIONS THE NEXT DAY. USUALLY THE FAMILY DON'T SAY TO MUCH ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE USUALLY VISITS WITH THE KIDS ETC... AND WE DON'T JUST WANT TO COME OUT AND SAY "YOU HAVE ALCOHOLISM.."
SHE GOT VERY DRUNK ON HER WEDDING NIGHT, CHRISTENINGS, FAMILY GATHERINGS, A LOT OF SOCIAL OCCASIONS. SO MUCH SO THAT HER HUSBAND FEELS EMBARRASSED TO BRING HER ALONG. HE JUST MAKES EXCUSES TO TRY AND AVOID OUTINGS. NOT LONG AGO SHE HAS DRANK SO MUCH THAT SHE PHONED HER FRIEND IN THE EARLY HOURS, WAS TALKING INCOHERENTLY AND PASSED OUT. HER FRIEND WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT HER THAT SHE COME TO MY PARENTS HOUSE (IN HER PJ'S) TO SAY SHE DIDN'T SOUND TOO GOOD. MY PARENTS WENT ON TO PHONE THE HOUSE CONTINUALLY, WITH NO ANSWER. MY FATHER AND MY SISTER RUSHED TO THE HOUSE AND WERE BANGING THE DOOR DOWN. BUT, TO NO AVAIL, FINALLY MY SISTER SAW AN OPEN WINDOW ON THE 2ND FLOOR OF THE HOUSE, MANAGED TO CLIMB IN AND SHE FOUND MY SISTER PASSED OUT ON THE BED. IT WAS BY THE GRACE OF GOD THAT THERE WAS NO FIRE OR ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE HER 3 KIDS WERE SLEEPING SOUNDLY NEXT DOOR.
ALSO I AM LIVING FAR AWAY FROM HOME AND MY SISTER AND I HAVE DEVELOPED QUITE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP. WE PHONE EACH OTHER A LOT AND SHE PHONES ME ON AVERAGE 4 TIMES A WEEK AND USUALLY SHE IS DRUNK. I TRY AND LISTEN TO HER AND I DONT HAVE THE HEART NOT TO ANSWER THE PHONE!
I NEED SOME ADVICE GUYS HOW CAN TELL HER IN A SENSITIVE WAY, SHE IS A DELICATE PERSON AND TAKES A LOT OF THINGS TO HEART. MY FAMILY SEE WHAT SHE IS DOING BUT THEY ARE AFRAID TO HURT HER EVEN MORE!! THIS CANT GO ON ANY LONGER, I NEED TO HELP HER BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WILL!!!
SORRY FOR THE LONG POST BUT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU ALL THE WHOLE BACKGROUND. WAITING FOR ANY ADVICE OR SUGGESTIONS!
YOURS,
CASSANDRA
HELLO, PLEASE HELP ME TO HELP MY SISTER!!
MY SISTER HAS A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH DRINKING. SHE HAS A GOOD JOB, 3 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, ALL OF THE THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE A PERFECT LIFE. SHE IS MANAGING TO STAY A FLOAT OF ALL THIS AND SHE MANAGES TO GET THE KIDS UP, OFF TO SCHOOL AND SHE (i'M SURE IT'S DIFFICULT TO PRETEND YOU DON'T HAVE A HANGOVER) ARRIVES INTO WORK EVERYDAY. SO FAR SO GOOD.
HOWEVER, I, MY PARENTS, HER OTHER SIBLINGS AND HER HUSBAND HAVE SEEN HER IN REAL ACTION. ONCE SHE STARTS DRINKING SHE CAN'T STOP, SHE JUST KEEPS GOING UNTIL SHE IS SLURRING HER WORDS AND BASICALLY UNTIL SHE IS RAMBLING ABOUT THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE TO US. SHE TELLS THE FAMILY THAT SHE IS SO UNORGANISED SO SHE CAN DROP DOWN TO THE STORE EVERYDAY, BUY FOOD FOR THE KIDS BUT ALSO, (SHE THINKS WE DON'T KNOW) TO STOCK UP ON ALCOHOL.
I FEEL SO SORRY FOR HER BECAUSE I KNOW THE GUILT EATS AWAY AT HER AND I KNOW THAT SHE REGRETS A LOT OF HER ACTIONS THE NEXT DAY. USUALLY THE FAMILY DON'T SAY TO MUCH ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE USUALLY VISITS WITH THE KIDS ETC... AND WE DON'T JUST WANT TO COME OUT AND SAY "YOU HAVE ALCOHOLISM.."
SHE GOT VERY DRUNK ON HER WEDDING NIGHT, CHRISTENINGS, FAMILY GATHERINGS, A LOT OF SOCIAL OCCASIONS. SO MUCH SO THAT HER HUSBAND FEELS EMBARRASSED TO BRING HER ALONG. HE JUST MAKES EXCUSES TO TRY AND AVOID OUTINGS. NOT LONG AGO SHE HAS DRANK SO MUCH THAT SHE PHONED HER FRIEND IN THE EARLY HOURS, WAS TALKING INCOHERENTLY AND PASSED OUT. HER FRIEND WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT HER THAT SHE COME TO MY PARENTS HOUSE (IN HER PJ'S) TO SAY SHE DIDN'T SOUND TOO GOOD. MY PARENTS WENT ON TO PHONE THE HOUSE CONTINUALLY, WITH NO ANSWER. MY FATHER AND MY SISTER RUSHED TO THE HOUSE AND WERE BANGING THE DOOR DOWN. BUT, TO NO AVAIL, FINALLY MY SISTER SAW AN OPEN WINDOW ON THE 2ND FLOOR OF THE HOUSE, MANAGED TO CLIMB IN AND SHE FOUND MY SISTER PASSED OUT ON THE BED. IT WAS BY THE GRACE OF GOD THAT THERE WAS NO FIRE OR ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE HER 3 KIDS WERE SLEEPING SOUNDLY NEXT DOOR.
ALSO I AM LIVING FAR AWAY FROM HOME AND MY SISTER AND I HAVE DEVELOPED QUITE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP. WE PHONE EACH OTHER A LOT AND SHE PHONES ME ON AVERAGE 4 TIMES A WEEK AND USUALLY SHE IS DRUNK. I TRY AND LISTEN TO HER AND I DONT HAVE THE HEART NOT TO ANSWER THE PHONE!
I NEED SOME ADVICE GUYS HOW CAN TELL HER IN A SENSITIVE WAY, SHE IS A DELICATE PERSON AND TAKES A LOT OF THINGS TO HEART. MY FAMILY SEE WHAT SHE IS DOING BUT THEY ARE AFRAID TO HURT HER EVEN MORE!! THIS CANT GO ON ANY LONGER, I NEED TO HELP HER BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WILL!!!
SORRY FOR THE LONG POST BUT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU ALL THE WHOLE BACKGROUND. WAITING FOR ANY ADVICE OR SUGGESTIONS!
YOURS,
CASSANDRA
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,637
THIS CANT GO ON ANY LONGER, I NEED TO HELP HER BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WILL!!!
As the friends and family of alcoholics the following keeps us living life in the here and now:
We didn't cause the alcoholic to drink.
We can't control the alcoholics drinking.
We can't cure the alcoholic from their disease.
But what we can do is take care of ourselves. Educate ourselves on the disease. I do that through attending Al-anon, where I have found people who like me are living with an alcoholic. From them, I have learned that I am not alone, my situation is not hopeless or isolated... and that I have gotten sick from trying to fix my husband. Al-anon helps me to keep loving my husband even though he is sick. It has given me the tools to keep alcoholism from tearing me to pieces.
You should give it a try.
-Shannon
Searching and tripping
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Back in my head
Posts: 1,194
Ditto to GettingBy...It's not for you or anyone to fix. No one can. Other than your sister. Alanon may be the answer for the whole family.
Has anyone thought about intervention? These are done by professionals who know what to say and how to go about it. Don't try it on your own without help.
Blessings
Has anyone thought about intervention? These are done by professionals who know what to say and how to go about it. Don't try it on your own without help.
Blessings
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