Help Me Help My Sister!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 4
Help Me Help My Sister!!!
7
HELLO, PLEASE HELP ME TO HELP MY SISTER!!
MY SISTER HAS A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH DRINKING. SHE HAS A GOOD JOB, 3 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, ALL OF THE THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE A PERFECT LIFE. SHE IS MANAGING TO STAY A FLOAT OF ALL THIS AND SHE MANAGES TO GET THE KIDS UP, OFF TO SCHOOL AND SHE (i'M SURE IT'S DIFFICULT TO PRETEND YOU DON'T HAVE A HANGOVER) ARRIVES INTO WORK EVERYDAY. SO FAR SO GOOD.
HOWEVER, I, MY PARENTS, HER OTHER SIBLINGS AND HER HUSBAND HAVE SEEN HER IN REAL ACTION. ONCE SHE STARTS DRINKING SHE CAN'T STOP, SHE JUST KEEPS GOING UNTIL SHE IS SLURRING HER WORDS AND BASICALLY UNTIL SHE IS RAMBLING ABOUT THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE TO US. SHE TELLS THE FAMILY THAT SHE IS SO UNORGANISED SO SHE CAN DROP DOWN TO THE STORE EVERYDAY, BUY FOOD FOR THE KIDS BUT ALSO, (SHE THINKS WE DON'T KNOW) TO STOCK UP ON ALCOHOL.
I FEEL SO SORRY FOR HER BECAUSE I KNOW THE GUILT EATS AWAY AT HER AND I KNOW THAT SHE REGRETS A LOT OF HER ACTIONS THE NEXT DAY. USUALLY THE FAMILY DON'T SAY TO MUCH ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE USUALLY VISITS WITH THE KIDS ETC... AND WE DON'T JUST WANT TO COME OUT AND SAY "YOU HAVE ALCOHOLISM.."
SHE GOT VERY DRUNK ON HER WEDDING NIGHT, CHRISTENINGS, FAMILY GATHERINGS, A LOT OF SOCIAL OCCASIONS. SO MUCH SO THAT HER HUSBAND FEELS EMBARRASSED TO BRING HER ALONG. HE JUST MAKES EXCUSES TO TRY AND AVOID OUTINGS. NOT LONG AGO SHE HAS DRANK SO MUCH THAT SHE PHONED HER FRIEND IN THE EARLY HOURS, WAS TALKING INCOHERENTLY AND PASSED OUT. HER FRIEND WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT HER THAT SHE COME TO MY PARENTS HOUSE (IN HER PJ'S) TO SAY SHE DIDN'T SOUND TOO GOOD. MY PARENTS WENT ON TO PHONE THE HOUSE CONTINUALLY, WITH NO ANSWER. MY FATHER AND MY SISTER RUSHED TO THE HOUSE AND WERE BANGING THE DOOR DOWN. BUT, TO NO AVAIL, FINALLY MY SISTER SAW AN OPEN WINDOW ON THE 2ND FLOOR OF THE HOUSE, MANAGED TO CLIMB IN AND SHE FOUND MY SISTER PASSED OUT ON THE BED. IT WAS BY THE GRACE OF GOD THAT THERE WAS NO FIRE OR ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE HER 3 KIDS WERE SLEEPING SOUNDLY NEXT DOOR.
ALSO I AM LIVING FAR AWAY FROM HOME AND MY SISTER AND I HAVE DEVELOPED QUITE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP. WE PHONE EACH OTHER A LOT AND SHE PHONES ME ON AVERAGE 4 TIMES A WEEK AND USUALLY SHE IS DRUNK. I TRY AND LISTEN TO HER AND I DONT HAVE THE HEART NOT TO ANSWER THE PHONE!
I NEED SOME ADVICE GUYS HOW CAN TELL HER IN A SENSITIVE WAY, SHE IS A DELICATE PERSON AND TAKES A LOT OF THINGS TO HEART. MY FAMILY SEE WHAT SHE IS DOING BUT THEY ARE AFRAID TO HURT HER EVEN MORE!! THIS CANT GO ON ANY LONGER, I NEED TO HELP HER BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WILL!!!
SORRY FOR THE LONG POST BUT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU ALL THE WHOLE BACKGROUND. WAITING FOR ANY ADVICE OR SUGGESTIONS!
YOURS,
CASANDRA
HELLO, PLEASE HELP ME TO HELP MY SISTER!!
MY SISTER HAS A SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH DRINKING. SHE HAS A GOOD JOB, 3 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, ALL OF THE THINGS THAT WOULD MAKE A PERFECT LIFE. SHE IS MANAGING TO STAY A FLOAT OF ALL THIS AND SHE MANAGES TO GET THE KIDS UP, OFF TO SCHOOL AND SHE (i'M SURE IT'S DIFFICULT TO PRETEND YOU DON'T HAVE A HANGOVER) ARRIVES INTO WORK EVERYDAY. SO FAR SO GOOD.
HOWEVER, I, MY PARENTS, HER OTHER SIBLINGS AND HER HUSBAND HAVE SEEN HER IN REAL ACTION. ONCE SHE STARTS DRINKING SHE CAN'T STOP, SHE JUST KEEPS GOING UNTIL SHE IS SLURRING HER WORDS AND BASICALLY UNTIL SHE IS RAMBLING ABOUT THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE SENSE TO US. SHE TELLS THE FAMILY THAT SHE IS SO UNORGANISED SO SHE CAN DROP DOWN TO THE STORE EVERYDAY, BUY FOOD FOR THE KIDS BUT ALSO, (SHE THINKS WE DON'T KNOW) TO STOCK UP ON ALCOHOL.
I FEEL SO SORRY FOR HER BECAUSE I KNOW THE GUILT EATS AWAY AT HER AND I KNOW THAT SHE REGRETS A LOT OF HER ACTIONS THE NEXT DAY. USUALLY THE FAMILY DON'T SAY TO MUCH ABOUT IT BECAUSE SHE USUALLY VISITS WITH THE KIDS ETC... AND WE DON'T JUST WANT TO COME OUT AND SAY "YOU HAVE ALCOHOLISM.."
SHE GOT VERY DRUNK ON HER WEDDING NIGHT, CHRISTENINGS, FAMILY GATHERINGS, A LOT OF SOCIAL OCCASIONS. SO MUCH SO THAT HER HUSBAND FEELS EMBARRASSED TO BRING HER ALONG. HE JUST MAKES EXCUSES TO TRY AND AVOID OUTINGS. NOT LONG AGO SHE HAS DRANK SO MUCH THAT SHE PHONED HER FRIEND IN THE EARLY HOURS, WAS TALKING INCOHERENTLY AND PASSED OUT. HER FRIEND WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT HER THAT SHE COME TO MY PARENTS HOUSE (IN HER PJ'S) TO SAY SHE DIDN'T SOUND TOO GOOD. MY PARENTS WENT ON TO PHONE THE HOUSE CONTINUALLY, WITH NO ANSWER. MY FATHER AND MY SISTER RUSHED TO THE HOUSE AND WERE BANGING THE DOOR DOWN. BUT, TO NO AVAIL, FINALLY MY SISTER SAW AN OPEN WINDOW ON THE 2ND FLOOR OF THE HOUSE, MANAGED TO CLIMB IN AND SHE FOUND MY SISTER PASSED OUT ON THE BED. IT WAS BY THE GRACE OF GOD THAT THERE WAS NO FIRE OR ANYTHING IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE HER 3 KIDS WERE SLEEPING SOUNDLY NEXT DOOR.
ALSO I AM LIVING FAR AWAY FROM HOME AND MY SISTER AND I HAVE DEVELOPED QUITE A CLOSE RELATIONSHIP. WE PHONE EACH OTHER A LOT AND SHE PHONES ME ON AVERAGE 4 TIMES A WEEK AND USUALLY SHE IS DRUNK. I TRY AND LISTEN TO HER AND I DONT HAVE THE HEART NOT TO ANSWER THE PHONE!
I NEED SOME ADVICE GUYS HOW CAN TELL HER IN A SENSITIVE WAY, SHE IS A DELICATE PERSON AND TAKES A LOT OF THINGS TO HEART. MY FAMILY SEE WHAT SHE IS DOING BUT THEY ARE AFRAID TO HURT HER EVEN MORE!! THIS CANT GO ON ANY LONGER, I NEED TO HELP HER BECAUSE NOBODY ELSE WILL!!!
SORRY FOR THE LONG POST BUT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU ALL THE WHOLE BACKGROUND. WAITING FOR ANY ADVICE OR SUGGESTIONS!
YOURS,
CASANDRA
Welcome I understand what you are going through with her but really there is nothing that anyone can do except her. She needs to make the decission for herself. I think it might be a good idea if you go and make a post also in the Alanon Forum I am sure there will be more here soon to respond to you. I will keep you all in my thoughts.
Love Vic
Love Vic
Welcome Cassandra. You should check out the friends and family forum that we have here. There are a lot of wonderful people who have gone through, and are going through, what you've described. I will keep you in my prayers.
Sherry
Sherry
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
One option would be a family and friends "intervention" where the alcoholic is confronted (in a loving, caring way, of course)...so that they are forced to see what everyone else is seeing.
I don't know how successful this is...perhaps you could ask in the other forums if anyone has had any experience along these lines...either being the subject of an intervention, or having participated in one.
Prayers to you and your family!
I don't know how successful this is...perhaps you could ask in the other forums if anyone has had any experience along these lines...either being the subject of an intervention, or having participated in one.
Prayers to you and your family!
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