Calling Everybody Who Wears the Been-There, Done-That T-shirt!
C's Sweetie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Calling Everybody Who Wears the Been-There, Done-That T-shirt!
And so it begins! My sweetie was released on parole 12/23. As a condition of parole, he has to attend 2 AA meetings a week for 12 weeks and also some kind of counseling. He told me he's only going to the meetings to satisfy the conditions of parole and that they are "stupid" and a waste of time. He's obviously not buying into the program... what's my response to this? Also, he's searching for "legal highs."
Help, help, help! I want to encourage him without alienating him.
Help, help, help! I want to encourage him without alienating him.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Texxie,
Tough one that is.
Sounds like he isnt wanting recovery, just mediocrity.
Legal highs?
Hold on or get thrown girl, bc this sounds like a long ride.
I am not sure how to encourage him at this point.
I dont hear that he's ready to recover from those statements!
Hugs to you
Tough one that is.
Sounds like he isnt wanting recovery, just mediocrity.
Legal highs?
Hold on or get thrown girl, bc this sounds like a long ride.
I am not sure how to encourage him at this point.
I dont hear that he's ready to recover from those statements!
Hugs to you
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
just smile and tell him you hope he has a good meeting.
Plenty of people were forced in AA, some never went back, others stay.
The power off AA is strong. Wait and see. Not much more you can do.
Plenty of people were forced in AA, some never went back, others stay.
The power off AA is strong. Wait and see. Not much more you can do.
How Important Is It?
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Cyberia
Posts: 612
My alcoholic daughter says a lot of stupid things that are designed to push my buttons, and in Al-anon I've learned to smile sweetly and nod and say "uh huh".
A man I met at an open AA meeting said "AA will ruin your drinking forever" ... Who knows, something might sink in for him this time around.
A man I met at an open AA meeting said "AA will ruin your drinking forever" ... Who knows, something might sink in for him this time around.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
It is hard being told what to do and when to do it. We are all that way, If it is my idea or my choice then it is great.
I agree with FOB, just say, "I understand", and let it go if possible.
Of course he resents being told to go. It is amazing what soaks in anyway. I have heard many say that once they walked thru those doors it spoiled their drinking.
Sometimes it took years for them to return, but they knew where to go.
PS.. You might even get an argument if you say "I understand" we never know!
I'd be tempted to say, "Call your parol officer and see if you can't go back to jail instead. Then you will be accused of being a smart a**.
No winning with an A.
Maybe the next meeting someone will tell his life story and he will be able to relate.
Good luck
I agree with FOB, just say, "I understand", and let it go if possible.
Of course he resents being told to go. It is amazing what soaks in anyway. I have heard many say that once they walked thru those doors it spoiled their drinking.
Sometimes it took years for them to return, but they knew where to go.
PS.. You might even get an argument if you say "I understand" we never know!
I'd be tempted to say, "Call your parol officer and see if you can't go back to jail instead. Then you will be accused of being a smart a**.
No winning with an A.
Maybe the next meeting someone will tell his life story and he will be able to relate.
Good luck
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