livingfor2

hi, this is my first time here, figured i'd try talking in here , even if noone listens it'll be better than trying to talk in the ***** chat rooms (i know, bad idea). let me start with a little history (i know, boring , but i gotta get this out). here goes, i am in love with a beautiful , caring , intelligent , lady whom i consider my soul mate, the problem is that she is an alchoholic. i love her very much , but i hate the person she becomes when she drinks. we have been together for 17 years (though i didn't realize there was a problem until about a year and a half after we got together) . it came to my attention after i started asking family members questions and found out that she had been in rehab once before . (i've also noticed that the people that she considers her best freinds , save one or two of them , are the ones that will allow her continue drinking and hide the stuff for her ).i've also done some of the things that i read in a post from "hopeful" i believe, such as begging, screaming , leaving, etc. i too have decided to live with it, i go on with ny life and emmerse myself in hobbies and try to keep the knowledge from my son (impossible, kids are too smart). i live for the days she doesn't drink and try to cram every kind of togetherness into that one day , hoping and wishing that this person would stay and we would live happily ever after. but it doesn't happen. i'm the macho man though ain't i? i should just force her into submission , right , nah, doesn't happen that way with me, if it ever came to that i would leave, but it never will , i love her , wait! if i love her i should be able to love her into submission, right ? nah , that doesn't work either . it is very hard to watch the person you love destroy themselve and alienate their child , which i'm sure many of you know, walking on eggshells when she is drunk so there won't be an endless arguement (that you will not win) waiting until she passes out wtching tv so you can relax, making sure that you turn her on her side so that she will not aspirate her vomit should she get sick while she sleeps, or just lying in bed until you are sure she is breathing correctly before falling asleep yourself. and waking up and lying still to make sure that the one you love made it through the night and is still breathing. do i sound as though i am feeling sorry for myself? not so , i guess i just need to get this out , and i am hoping i am among people who understand. there is so much more i wish to say , but i will save it for another day. thanx for the time. P.S. make no mistake, i love her very much and i will be here for the long haul. she is a very good and caring person, when she is not drinking............. feel free to e me anytime anyone , i would love to have some folks to talk to . and happy new year everyone!

Anna

Hi Living,

I'm glad you joined and I sure do understand. Addiction is a horrible disease and it hurts so many people. I began drinking after 25 yrs of marriage and continued for 3 yrs. I almost lost my husband and my children, but I've been sober for more than 5 yrs now and you need to know there is hope for your wife. However, right now you need to take care of yourself. You can find lots of support here and you might want to check out the Friends and Families Forum which is for people in your situation.

Lively

Hi and welcome to SR

I haven't been in your shoes. I'm the drunk one. Or I was!

What does she say about her drinking? I assume you've confronted her? Does she want to stop? How old is the child?

I'm sure you'll get lots of great advice here. Stick around.

Happy New Year!