Atack of the relaps
Dstruggler
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 10
Atack of the relaps
Attack of the relapse
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
certain things set the cravings off for me happy,sad,mad,glad,bored,etc.etc..........but this time of year is realy tough I have always delt with depression but this time of year is realy hard.My family is not on good terms this year,mainly because of my relapse this past year.they have delt with me for years.I see the dissappointment,in the last two years I got custody of my kids got married had a wonderfull job.this seems minor to most but to someone who has been dealing with addiction most of there life since I was 11 now 32 it was everything I had ever wanted.At my wedding my brothers gave a toast saying if only you knew where this man has came from they knew the "scars" I bared reminders of where I have been.I told my wife a short while after we first met I was an addict.She is the type of person maybe a glass of wine on her B-DAY.So when I relapsed all she said was I did not know to what extinct your addiction was she was stunned.She did not know how or what to do ,I knew from the first day I relapsed it was going to be bad.Take my money take me to get gas she didnt want to believe that I was this person that was telling her to do these things.So she said nothing and she left it devistated her I still love her she didnt know what to do.I still have custody of the kids but I had to let them go stay with there mother while I get back on my feet.I let them down they are 13 and 11 they are wonderful. I did not lie to them I was straight up with them.They took it better than I was expecting them to,they said daddy we just want you to get better we love you.Wow where did all this come from.I have strung a few days clean here and there.God how I want a clean date I can die with yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs from know.I guess one of the hardest things is getting to that place where we want to be and it comes out of no where and says start all over again its realy hard but some how I have to get the I wanna attitude and come back better and stronger than ever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
certain things set the cravings off for me happy,sad,mad,glad,bored,etc.etc..........but this time of year is realy tough I have always delt with depression but this time of year is realy hard.My family is not on good terms this year,mainly because of my relapse this past year.they have delt with me for years.I see the dissappointment,in the last two years I got custody of my kids got married had a wonderfull job.this seems minor to most but to someone who has been dealing with addiction most of there life since I was 11 now 32 it was everything I had ever wanted.At my wedding my brothers gave a toast saying if only you knew where this man has came from they knew the "scars" I bared reminders of where I have been.I told my wife a short while after we first met I was an addict.She is the type of person maybe a glass of wine on her B-DAY.So when I relapsed all she said was I did not know to what extinct your addiction was she was stunned.She did not know how or what to do ,I knew from the first day I relapsed it was going to be bad.Take my money take me to get gas she didnt want to believe that I was this person that was telling her to do these things.So she said nothing and she left it devistated her I still love her she didnt know what to do.I still have custody of the kids but I had to let them go stay with there mother while I get back on my feet.I let them down they are 13 and 11 they are wonderful. I did not lie to them I was straight up with them.They took it better than I was expecting them to,they said daddy we just want you to get better we love you.Wow where did all this come from.I have strung a few days clean here and there.God how I want a clean date I can die with yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrs from know.I guess one of the hardest things is getting to that place where we want to be and it comes out of no where and says start all over again its realy hard but some how I have to get the I wanna attitude and come back better and stronger than ever.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
