~phew.....that Was Close! ~
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: grumpyville, co
Posts: 115
~phew.....that Was Close! ~
Boy howdy have I got something to share with all you!!!!!
Wednesday night my husband and I planned to RELAPSE! OMG. . . . ! We went to our friends who we used to our special candy through, they weren't home
. So we went to go and buy the necessities to party with. You know like a couple of lighters, cause we each need our own, cigarettes cause I like to smoke when I'm high, and Mountain Dew cause it's my favorite drink. Then we went back to there house and this time they were home 
! They kept telling us they haven't used lately cause they had no money, they could get it but just didn't have the funds. Don (my husband) and I kept looking at each other like sweet we have money and they can get the candy! Then we started talking about having been clean from everything for 115 days, all the struggles we've been going through, and what led up to us quitting and getting help.
Then all of a sudden I began to pray to myself, because I didn't want to go back and become that person again that I was 115 days ago, I didn't want to jeopardize losing my kids, or the self respect and love that I have started to feel or my life. I could feel my body, mind and soul become free and in that moment I realized I didn't have to give in. I knew I didn't have to use and I would be o.k.
My Husband and I visited with them for a couple of hours and then left. Once we were in the car, we both began to cry. He looked at me and told me he too had begun to pray and had noticed that I became very quiet (this is unusual for me ) so he assumed I was doing the same thing. We talked until very late that night about how God and our angels were with us. To me that is my HP working overtime and for that I am so grateful! I can still say I am clean today with 117 days and only the rest of my life to go! I know I can do this by just taking it One Day at a Time.
Thanks for listening and I hope you all Have a very Merry Christmas!
Wednesday night my husband and I planned to RELAPSE! OMG. . . . ! We went to our friends who we used to our special candy through, they weren't home
. So we went to go and buy the necessities to party with. You know like a couple of lighters, cause we each need our own, cigarettes cause I like to smoke when I'm high, and Mountain Dew cause it's my favorite drink. Then we went back to there house and this time they were home ! They kept telling us they haven't used lately cause they had no money, they could get it but just didn't have the funds. Don (my husband) and I kept looking at each other like sweet we have money and they can get the candy! Then we started talking about having been clean from everything for 115 days, all the struggles we've been going through, and what led up to us quitting and getting help. Then all of a sudden I began to pray to myself, because I didn't want to go back and become that person again that I was 115 days ago, I didn't want to jeopardize losing my kids, or the self respect and love that I have started to feel or my life. I could feel my body, mind and soul become free and in that moment I realized I didn't have to give in. I knew I didn't have to use and I would be o.k.
My Husband and I visited with them for a couple of hours and then left. Once we were in the car, we both began to cry. He looked at me and told me he too had begun to pray and had noticed that I became very quiet (this is unusual for me ) so he assumed I was doing the same thing. We talked until very late that night about how God and our angels were with us. To me that is my HP working overtime and for that I am so grateful! I can still say I am clean today with 117 days and only the rest of my life to go! I know I can do this by just taking it One Day at a Time.
Thanks for listening and I hope you all Have a very Merry Christmas!
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WHEW!!! THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL!!!
But, isn't it amazing what can happen if we just "think it through". Someone once reminded me, too, if I couldn't get to a phone, "God never puts you on hold."
I'm glad you resisted the temptation (with the help of your HP, of course). All things are possible with Him by your side.
Happy Holidays to you and hubby!
But, isn't it amazing what can happen if we just "think it through". Someone once reminded me, too, if I couldn't get to a phone, "God never puts you on hold."
I'm glad you resisted the temptation (with the help of your HP, of course). All things are possible with Him by your side.
Happy Holidays to you and hubby!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
Are you going to meetings? Do you have a sponsor? It would be a good idea to share you recent close call with these people too...Remember: we are responsible for our recovery but our addiction. Once you have been exposed to a recovery program but go back out and use again anyway, that is a conscious, deliberate choice. Guard your thoughts. My thinking got me in a lot of trouble!
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Just came home from a break and was glad to get not only your email but to come here and see that you are sharing your victory with us. One thing that came to mind is how they say "If you hang out in the barber shop your going to get a hair cut" or "If you hang out in the kitchen your going to get burned." One think they really stress is people, places and things. I am glad that your were spiritually fit, THIS TIME. But what would have happen if you were not spiritually fit?
One thing also to remember is that my sobriety is too damn important to me to try and test the waters. I was invited over for Christmas dinner to a place I am not sure if I will go. I just haven't felt good about it lately I think my morals are changing YEKKKKK> This person that invited me over is a normal person. She can have just one shot and be done. But still I am not sure if I can handle watching her have that one shot. Some days it doesn't bother me and others well you know..
OK thanks for sharing and I hope that you and your family have a blessed Christmas..
Love Vic
One thing also to remember is that my sobriety is too damn important to me to try and test the waters. I was invited over for Christmas dinner to a place I am not sure if I will go. I just haven't felt good about it lately I think my morals are changing YEKKKKK> This person that invited me over is a normal person. She can have just one shot and be done. But still I am not sure if I can handle watching her have that one shot. Some days it doesn't bother me and others well you know..
OK thanks for sharing and I hope that you and your family have a blessed Christmas..
Love Vic
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
Originally Posted by grumpy_b05
Then all of a sudden I began to pray to myself, because I didn't want to go back and become that person again that I was 115 days ago, I didn't want to jeopardize losing my kids, or the self respect and love that I have started to feel or my life. I could feel my body, mind and soul become free and in that moment I realized I didn't have to give in. I knew I didn't have to use and I would be o.k.
you were in luck that your friends were a bit down on their luck.
You have so many reasons you dont want to be that person again and its great you and your husband have realized you dont have to give in.
Take care and enjoy the holidays with your family! :elfman
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Originally Posted by raerob
WHEW!!! THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL!!!
But, isn't it amazing what can happen if we just "think it through". Someone once reminded me, too, if I couldn't get to a phone, "God never puts you on hold."
I'm glad you resisted the temptation (with the help of your HP, of course). All things are possible with Him by your side.
Happy Holidays to you and hubby!
But, isn't it amazing what can happen if we just "think it through". Someone once reminded me, too, if I couldn't get to a phone, "God never puts you on hold."
I'm glad you resisted the temptation (with the help of your HP, of course). All things are possible with Him by your side.
Happy Holidays to you and hubby!
I like that saying. God never puts you on hold. I do a lot of praying, it really does help.
Glad you and your hubby made it through alright.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: grumpyville, co
Posts: 115
Thank you all for your thoughtful posts!
It feels really good to be able to say that I'm still clean
. I do attend meetings but do not have a sponsor. Maybe that means I'm not serious about my recovery, I don't know. I have just had a hard time finding someone. I know I will find someone, but in the meantime it looks like more meetings and phone calls.
It feels really good to be able to say that I'm still clean
. I do attend meetings but do not have a sponsor. Maybe that means I'm not serious about my recovery, I don't know. I have just had a hard time finding someone. I know I will find someone, but in the meantime it looks like more meetings and phone calls. Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Yokohama, Japan
Posts: 487
Originally Posted by grumpy_b05
Thank you all for your thoughtful posts!
It feels really good to be able to say that I'm still clean . I do attend meetings but do not have a sponsor. Maybe that means I'm not serious about my recovery, I don't know. I have just had a hard time finding someone. I know I will find someone, but in the meantime it looks like more meetings and phone calls.
It feels really good to be able to say that I'm still clean
. I do attend meetings but do not have a sponsor. Maybe that means I'm not serious about my recovery, I don't know. I have just had a hard time finding someone. I know I will find someone, but in the meantime it looks like more meetings and phone calls. Take care.
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