emily33

My H is doing everything he can this morning to apologize to me, I am hearing his apology, but because I told him I thought he wasnt sorry, and that his two second apology doesnt make up for two hours of hell and everything is okay, he became even more angry.

I am not hear to talk about his actions or what he did, I am going to talk about how I am and my feelings.

I am angry that my grandmother's lamp was broken, salvageable but broken, find a new center piece for a 60 year old lamp??

My feelings are hurt because I was creating something for his mom for Christmas and was told that she wouldnt like it. I am no longer going to make it, I was creating a calendar that I was very proud of with family pictures embedded, I included pictures that he said his mom wouldnt like. I was told to stop hoping everything was going to be okay, and stop trying to force something that would never happen. The pictures he didnt like were of my two older kids

He spoke for his mom, and his mom will never know what I was creating, because he said she would hate it and if he saw it up on her wall he would rip it down, I was told that if I make a calendar with their pictures included in it, I should give it to my mom or keep it myself, because his mom doesnt want to see that. He told me his mom would say she likes it to me but would tell him something else.

So, why bother, I hope you understand.

I know, I cant change or control anyone elses action, I can only hope things would be okay for me, and I know that their had been and is alot of hard feelings, but I was trying to create something special for his mom.

My daughter had her b'day party on Saturday, I was very thankful and apprecative that his mom and sister came over to help with my daughters party, I was very overwhelmed that day with things for my son, and I dont think I could have gotten everything done, myself.

His sister and mom were very generous to my youngest daughter, came over helped with the party, helped with party decorations. I am very thankful and appreciative for what they do for my youngest daughter, I am very hurt that I have two other children, and I have been in that family for ten years and neither one of them recognize my two older kids birthday's. No card no call, they get nothing, but I realize that I cant change this, and I cant control this, so here I sit.

Christmas is next Saturday, and I had a gift planned and I know that I shouldnt let what my H actions upset me and let it affect me, but I cant help it, and they will not understand why.

I cant understand how two adult people, after 10 years of being a part of my childrens lives could be so neglectful of two very bright, beautiful children.

I am very thankful that they would not miss one event when it comes to my youngest daughter, ballet reciptals, cheerleading routines, christmas concerts. How do I get past the hurt, that the very next Thursday was my son's band concert and neither one of them care to say even I am sorry I cant make it. I told his mom, there is no question of her knowing. My parents live two hours away, and my son's father has abandoned him and his sister. The only family they really know is them, they are being taught from example this is how family is suppose to be, I hope to God they dont grow up and really believe this. Growing up in the environment that I am giving them are they going to feel as important as there youngest sister? (hell no) They are seeing her getting all this love and attention, and they are not getting any from anyone but me. how can they be taught, not to be resentful of her, not to be jealous of her.

I know I cant change anything, but how do I cope with the hurt. How do I work through this, without it coming out in a negative light and not hurt anyone else in the process, there has been enough hurt.

I dont know what I am looking for posting this, I know that people are tired of hearing me, so please be kind, I am and have been torn up in the worse way with all of this.

There is no hope is there?? I need to do exactly what my H said to do, stop living in my fantasy where everything is going to be okay, stop trying to force somthing that will never happen. I need to start living in reality, well you know what reality sucks but I need to stay there so I can heal, so I can move on.

Thank you for letting me share

somebodysfool

Yes, please Emily...Post. Get it Emily Post? I know lame. I couldn't help myself. I knwo your are hurting and I hope you are not offended. I always go for the humor to lighten up a mood. It doesn't always work and then I find myself apologizing and feeling lik an @$$. I need help.

J

elizabeth1979

((Emily))

Sounds like you are so hurt...Im so sorry for your sadness.

Would you be able to talk directly to his family regarding the neglect for your 2 oldest?
Have you done that? If so, how did that go over?

jojo

Oh Emily, my heart hurts for you and all of your kids. None of them are getting what they really need, are they? The older ones feel so left out and your younger one is growing up with a sense of entitlement. She is learning that she is more "special" than her brother and sister. It is sad. You know that you can't change any of the adults so all I would recommend is for you to take the best care of your kids and let them know that in your eyes, they are all special.

Hugs, Jo