It's Got It's Grip On Me!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ballston Lake, New York
Posts: 79
It's Got It's Grip On Me!
Please Help! Today is the beginning of my second day of not drinking wine (so far). It feels like there is a Demon in my head constantly giving me racing thoughts of wanting and needing to drink. I'm feeling anxious and these thoughts are constantly making excuses why I should go out and buy a bottle of wine, ie.. Oh, there's nothing wrong with a couple of drinks, Oh, don't worry you can stop at any time, etc... This demon has kept me up all night tossing and turning thinking of these thoughts. Please, anyone is there anything I can either think or keep saying to myself that will help relieve these thoughts. Is there any way to get rid of the demon that is taking over my life.
I can't tell my husband my thoughts because he's the type of person that if we get into a fight he will throw it up in my face at how weak I am (for drinking) and say your nothing but an alcoholic. I also have no friends to talk to and I definately cannot tell my family. It's so hard doing this and being so alone
Thank you,
Theresa
I can't tell my husband my thoughts because he's the type of person that if we get into a fight he will throw it up in my face at how weak I am (for drinking) and say your nothing but an alcoholic. I also have no friends to talk to and I definately cannot tell my family. It's so hard doing this and being so alone
Thank you,
Theresa
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Brownsburg Indiana
Posts: 63
Bymyself,
When I hear the voices I have to talk back to them with all the reasons why I don't take the first drink. I remember how at a certain time at night I would hear the bottle calling to me telling that just one drink would be great. But the one never was enough and then I would hear how maybe another would make it better. I could never have the one without falling into drinking the whole bottle. It's been 20 years and that inner voice still has the gull to test my will. Try telling it why it's not worth the one drink. All the bad things that come with it still pops up when the bottle calls to me.
Stay strong!
Not everything you hear from within is worth listening to especially if it involves Alky!
You have friends here!
_________________
Beck
When I hear the voices I have to talk back to them with all the reasons why I don't take the first drink. I remember how at a certain time at night I would hear the bottle calling to me telling that just one drink would be great. But the one never was enough and then I would hear how maybe another would make it better. I could never have the one without falling into drinking the whole bottle. It's been 20 years and that inner voice still has the gull to test my will. Try telling it why it's not worth the one drink. All the bad things that come with it still pops up when the bottle calls to me.
Stay strong!
Not everything you hear from within is worth listening to especially if it involves Alky!
You have friends here!
_________________
Beck
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Winterville, NC
Posts: 1
Pick up your bible and read it. Then call a local church and ask for people to get together with you and pray. You need the spirit of God to over take you. I believe that God is your answer. He is your hope.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
Hey Theresa...
yeah...
feeling the devils..
actually... it's just my evil twin inside me... trying to get me to hurt myself and pleasure her.
I use to give in all the time.
the message was just too strong... and my life was just too bereft...
the connection I didn't get what that my life was bereft because I use using continually.
What life did I have to try to go back too...??
So.. I had to start over.
And the first thing I had to do was stop using so that I could get my mind clear enough to think and see things in teh real...
I needed the fellowship of the 12 step program to help move me forward... and to give me the love and support I needed to believe I could have a better... happier... more fullfilling life...
beyond my wildest dreams in fact... ;o)
but.. none of that was gonna happen as long as I kept my focus on the bottom of that wine bottle.
I was a wine drinker as well..
a magnum a day...
time to be free..
are you ready to go to any length..?
yeah...
feeling the devils..
actually... it's just my evil twin inside me... trying to get me to hurt myself and pleasure her.
I use to give in all the time.
the message was just too strong... and my life was just too bereft...
the connection I didn't get what that my life was bereft because I use using continually.
What life did I have to try to go back too...??
So.. I had to start over.
And the first thing I had to do was stop using so that I could get my mind clear enough to think and see things in teh real...
I needed the fellowship of the 12 step program to help move me forward... and to give me the love and support I needed to believe I could have a better... happier... more fullfilling life...
beyond my wildest dreams in fact... ;o)
but.. none of that was gonna happen as long as I kept my focus on the bottom of that wine bottle.
I was a wine drinker as well..
a magnum a day...
time to be free..
are you ready to go to any length..?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Please go over to the forum Alcoholism.
The 2nd sticky there is
"Quitting what to expect"
You are now in a de tox state.
Your mind and body is craving alcohol.
You can find sobriety...many of us have.
The longer you absstain the easier it becomes.
The 2nd sticky there is
"Quitting what to expect"
You are now in a de tox state.
Your mind and body is craving alcohol.
You can find sobriety...many of us have.
The longer you absstain the easier it becomes.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Hi Theresa,
Welcome to SR
glad you found us, there is great advice here so far and there is loads more here so hang on, keep reading and writiung and keep coming back.
Kevin
Welcome to SR
glad you found us, there is great advice here so far and there is loads more here so hang on, keep reading and writiung and keep coming back.Kevin
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by bymyself
Please Help! Today is the beginning of my second day of not drinking wine (so far). It feels like there is a Demon in my head constantly giving me racing thoughts of wanting and needing to drink. I'm feeling anxious and these thoughts are constantly making excuses why I should go out and buy a bottle of wine, ie.. Oh, there's nothing wrong with a couple of drinks, Oh, don't worry you can stop at any time, etc... This demon has kept me up all night tossing and turning thinking of these thoughts. Please, anyone is there anything I can either think or keep saying to myself that will help relieve these thoughts. Is there any way to get rid of the demon that is taking over my life.
I can't tell my husband my thoughts because he's the type of person that if we get into a fight he will throw it up in my face at how weak I am (for drinking) and say your nothing but an alcoholic. I also have no friends to talk to and I definately cannot tell my family. It's so hard doing this and being so alone
Thank you,
Theresa
I can't tell my husband my thoughts because he's the type of person that if we get into a fight he will throw it up in my face at how weak I am (for drinking) and say your nothing but an alcoholic. I also have no friends to talk to and I definately cannot tell my family. It's so hard doing this and being so alone
Thank you,
Theresa
Im not sure how much you drank or how often, but, chances are this is the worst of it. But you may want to go to a doctor of hospital if it gets worse physically. Believe me, you'll know. But, yes,....you are in the detox stage. Its normal to feel like this. In DOES pass. In a few days it will be greatly reduced. Not gone, but reduced. Does your husband know you're an alcoholic? Or is it that you havent even told him yet and just know thats how he would react? Because if its how he WOULD react, then, Id get out of that relationship fast. That can only hurt a recovery. If you are on good terms with your immediate family, I WOULD tell them. That does wonders for support. I know your scared, confused, and even embarrassed, but, believe me, your family will probably want to help you, not shun you. And when those demons are talkin'....go to an AA meeting. You will find tons of people who are JUST like you. Safety in numbers. They understand.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
Hi Theresa,
Glad your here, you will find lots of information and support at SR. The first week is rough, sticking on the computer and reading and posting at SR helped me alot. It does get better, just stick with it!
I hope you keep coming here,
Take Care
Glad your here, you will find lots of information and support at SR. The first week is rough, sticking on the computer and reading and posting at SR helped me alot. It does get better, just stick with it!
I hope you keep coming here,
Take Care
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 99
Theresa, I do know how you are feeling, except I left the relationship I was in before I stopped drinking. I also knew he would not be supportive, that he would throw it in my face everytime we fought, which was often. I have not talked to my family or any of my friends, about my addiction. Not when I was drinking and not since I've been clean.
Do you like to read? For the first 3 months of my sobriety books were my saving grace. Every.single.night I read book, after book, after book. I read a book every 2 or 3 days. Sounds silly maybe, but it kept my mind off the booze and it worked. I also at ice cream, lol...to curb the sugar cravings that came over me after a week or two being sober.
And, I found SR 20 days into my sobriety and I believe this place has played a big role in getting me 6 months clean.
I no longer read anywhere near as much, I don't eat ice cream every single night, but I do come here every day to remind myself of where I've been and where I am, and to occassionally offer support for someone else in need.
Best of luck to you. You can do this if you really want it
Do you like to read? For the first 3 months of my sobriety books were my saving grace. Every.single.night I read book, after book, after book. I read a book every 2 or 3 days. Sounds silly maybe, but it kept my mind off the booze and it worked. I also at ice cream, lol...to curb the sugar cravings that came over me after a week or two being sober.
And, I found SR 20 days into my sobriety and I believe this place has played a big role in getting me 6 months clean.
I no longer read anywhere near as much, I don't eat ice cream every single night, but I do come here every day to remind myself of where I've been and where I am, and to occassionally offer support for someone else in need.
Best of luck to you. You can do this if you really want it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ballston Lake, New York
Posts: 79
I went off the wagon tonight. And I feel so bad. You are so right" lovely", I can't talk to my husband either. I did gain weight while I've been drinking and all he does is make fun of me and put me down in a nasty way when we argue. No way can I talk too my family. I have a sister that thinks she's the cat's MEOW. And If I have any problems all she says is that I have no patience for you and everything is my fault and she loves to rub in how great her life is and how accomplished she is. My mother goes against me if I say anything against her darling daugther. That's why I feel so Alone.
Theresa
Theresa
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New Focus
Posts: 687
Originally Posted by bymyself
I went off the wagon tonight. And I feel so bad. Theresa
When your ready you may want to try some AA meetings in your area, you may feel less lonley, all you have to do is go and sit until you want to do more, I found womens meeting great!
Just keep checking in here ok?
take care
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Hey Theresa,
Your not alone, we are all hear for you. Here is a suggestion, rather than picturing yourself on a wagon, which also implies your getting off of it again, just tell yourself your not drinking today or this hour or the next 5 mins, whatever works for you and stick to that, we all do this one day at a time, with love and support from people, people here at SR, people in our programs, those that love us and our HP.
Hang in there Theresa, thinking of you and sending love your way.
Keep posting and reading and coming back.
Love Kevin
Your not alone, we are all hear for you. Here is a suggestion, rather than picturing yourself on a wagon, which also implies your getting off of it again, just tell yourself your not drinking today or this hour or the next 5 mins, whatever works for you and stick to that, we all do this one day at a time, with love and support from people, people here at SR, people in our programs, those that love us and our HP.
Hang in there Theresa, thinking of you and sending love your way.
Keep posting and reading and coming back.
Love Kevin
Guest
Posts: n/a
Hi, Theresa...welcome to Sober Recovery.
Just keep trying to stay away from that one drink...it may take an hour at a time, until you can get to that day at a time. The first five days are the detox period, but it will get easier the longer you can keep from drinking. When I was in detox (I was a winette, too...female wino), it was suggested that we suck on hard candy, drink lots of fruit juice, try to stay away from caffeine. Believe it or not, there is a lot of sugar in alcoholic drinks...and caffeine only adds to the nervousness you might already be feeling, and interfering with your sleep.
Hang in there...for YOU...not your husband, family, anyone else but YOU...the rest will fall into place (one way or another) as you stay sober.
It would be a good idea for you to get to some AA meetings; but, remember you need never feel alone again...as long as you have all of us at Sober Recovery.
Rae
Just keep trying to stay away from that one drink...it may take an hour at a time, until you can get to that day at a time. The first five days are the detox period, but it will get easier the longer you can keep from drinking. When I was in detox (I was a winette, too...female wino), it was suggested that we suck on hard candy, drink lots of fruit juice, try to stay away from caffeine. Believe it or not, there is a lot of sugar in alcoholic drinks...and caffeine only adds to the nervousness you might already be feeling, and interfering with your sleep.
Hang in there...for YOU...not your husband, family, anyone else but YOU...the rest will fall into place (one way or another) as you stay sober.
It would be a good idea for you to get to some AA meetings; but, remember you need never feel alone again...as long as you have all of us at Sober Recovery.
Rae
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ballston Lake, New York
Posts: 79
Thank you all so Much! I can't believe that there are so many people out there that really care. It's amazing, but even more than my own family and husband do. Is that normal for your family not to like you if you drink?
Thank you all so much. And tomorrow is definately another day.
Love,
Theresa
P.S Can I still keep you up to date on my progress tomorrow. I don't want to bore any of you on this message board.
Thank you all so much. And tomorrow is definately another day.
Love,
Theresa
P.S Can I still keep you up to date on my progress tomorrow. I don't want to bore any of you on this message board.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Hi Theresa,
I don't know what Family and normal is! I would guess that its common yes.
Please keep us up to date, keep posting, its not boring, its what we do here and you will be surprised how many people will realte to you and in your sharing you will help
The word is; keep coming back
Love Kevin
I don't know what Family and normal is! I would guess that its common yes.
Please keep us up to date, keep posting, its not boring, its what we do here and you will be surprised how many people will realte to you and in your sharing you will help
The word is; keep coming back
Love Kevin
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ballston Lake, New York
Posts: 79
I will keep posting. It's bedtime for me, ( I don't know what time it is in Australia,Kevin, but it's about 10:30pm and I heading to bed, thanks for posting from so far away) But I'll see you all in the morning.
Theresa
Theresa
Guest
Posts: n/a
Morning, Theresa...
I'm sure it isn't that they don't like you..."We love the addict/alcoholic...we hate the disease."
And, please don't worry about boring us...we need each other in order to stay sober. I, personally, have several years of sobriety; but, I need to hear from and speak to the newcomers...it's what we call "keeping my memory green"...being away from the drinking for a while, I tend to forget what it was like when I was right where you are now. Thank you for helping me to remember.
Is that normal for your family not to like you if you drink?
And, please don't worry about boring us...we need each other in order to stay sober. I, personally, have several years of sobriety; but, I need to hear from and speak to the newcomers...it's what we call "keeping my memory green"...being away from the drinking for a while, I tend to forget what it was like when I was right where you are now. Thank you for helping me to remember.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ballston Lake, New York
Posts: 79
Goodmorning. It's nice to know that even though I'm struggling at this point in my life that I'm still able to help you guys even though you have quite a few years sobriety under your belt. It's amazing how God let's certain people cross your path in life (even on the net). I'm so glad to have come across this website. It's almost like a blessing.
I feel guilty for having a couple of drinks last night but today is another day. I'll be checking in during the day. I have to get ready to walk dogs. They really make my day, there so happy to see me. I just wish it wasn't so cold (18 degrees).
Take Care,
Theresa
I feel guilty for having a couple of drinks last night but today is another day. I'll be checking in during the day. I have to get ready to walk dogs. They really make my day, there so happy to see me. I just wish it wasn't so cold (18 degrees).
Take Care,
Theresa
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
