New and in need of advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Detroit,MI
Posts: 2
New and in need of advice
Hello everyone! I hope this is the right place to post this but let me start by introducing myself. My name is Erica, I am 22 & a proud mommy to my first child, my 16 month old boy Dominic.
My mother was a recovering alcoholic/addict & clean for 4 years until she passed away from a heart attack in 2001 at the age of 42. Her drug of choice was crack..
My father is an alcoholic who doesn't think he has a problem..
My thing is my boyfriends mother who is an alcoholic.. she & I are very close & I love her so much but hate her @ the same time. We fight alot when she is drunk of course and she went into rehab in Oct and has been clean up until 12-3-05. I expected it to happen sooner or later but well I confronted her about it cuz she didnt think anyone knew she was drinking and it blew up... I was called everything in the book and I asked if her grandson was worth staying sober 4 & when she said no, I said she could no longer see him while she continued to drink... since she has tried to call and "iron" things out but I cant let her manipulate anymore and just try to fix everything... I cant I feel like I have become obsessed with her and I dont want anything to do with her nemore... my problem is noone can understand me, they all try to sy that I am mean, too emotional & they say they dont understand why it affects me the way it does... its driving me nuts... I feel bad cuz its my boyfriends mom but really I just want her out of my life and he even thinks im like crazy.
I know I cant change her but I dont have to take anymore of her games or **** and how do I make them understand that I am NOT wrong for how I feel and to just leave me the hell alone? I am so glad to have found this place and hope to find other people that I can relate to.. any advice or comments would be great.. thanks for listening
My mother was a recovering alcoholic/addict & clean for 4 years until she passed away from a heart attack in 2001 at the age of 42. Her drug of choice was crack..
My father is an alcoholic who doesn't think he has a problem..
My thing is my boyfriends mother who is an alcoholic.. she & I are very close & I love her so much but hate her @ the same time. We fight alot when she is drunk of course and she went into rehab in Oct and has been clean up until 12-3-05. I expected it to happen sooner or later but well I confronted her about it cuz she didnt think anyone knew she was drinking and it blew up... I was called everything in the book and I asked if her grandson was worth staying sober 4 & when she said no, I said she could no longer see him while she continued to drink... since she has tried to call and "iron" things out but I cant let her manipulate anymore and just try to fix everything... I cant I feel like I have become obsessed with her and I dont want anything to do with her nemore... my problem is noone can understand me, they all try to sy that I am mean, too emotional & they say they dont understand why it affects me the way it does... its driving me nuts... I feel bad cuz its my boyfriends mom but really I just want her out of my life and he even thinks im like crazy.
I know I cant change her but I dont have to take anymore of her games or **** and how do I make them understand that I am NOT wrong for how I feel and to just leave me the hell alone? I am so glad to have found this place and hope to find other people that I can relate to.. any advice or comments would be great.. thanks for listening
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Erica, you can't make other people understand.
Either they do or they don't.
You have to set appropriate boundaries for you and your child.
Think about it this way.
The same people who "don't understand" would be horrified if you continued this relationship with your BF's mother and something happened to your child because of her drinking.
Either they do or they don't.
You have to set appropriate boundaries for you and your child.
Think about it this way.
The same people who "don't understand" would be horrified if you continued this relationship with your BF's mother and something happened to your child because of her drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Detroit,MI
Posts: 2
Thank you so much.. No I haven't attended Al-Anon. She has been wanting to call me to talk and I will allow it which I believe is going to happen tonight because last time we spoke we were screaming at each other and I want her to really hear me so she knows how serious I am and I am expecting her to go crazy but Im ready for it... It is something I need to do to feel better about myself and go on with my life. I cant take the drama.. but again thanks for your understanding and advice! I will stay here.. I have a son who went from being an angel to being a little terror overnight lol and he keeps me busy so thanks and if we do end up talking tonight ill add to this post of how things went.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Just a suggestion, if she sounds like she has been drinking, try to pospone the talk.
They do not hear what we are saying the way we say it, or mean it. They hear a twisted version.
Glad you found SR, Keep coming back.
They do not hear what we are saying the way we say it, or mean it. They hear a twisted version.
Glad you found SR, Keep coming back.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
