equus

...but I'm cautious of thinking that way now, because I think I have to mentally include the last four months where he's lapsed 4 times - but only 4, only four isolated binges. In that time the sober days and weeks inbetween were no less real than the ones he failed to stay sober - they didn't somehow disappear because he lapsed.

And yet I'm aware it's a month sober now and I'm glad for that - very glad.

I've read how important sober time is, giving chance to think and learn new habits, chance to learn how to deal with old triggers, internal experience that travels everywhere inside. D certainly didn't have the easiest time to do that but for the large part he did. I know christmas and holidays are a big trigger, we're going to see his parents the weekend before christmas - I know that's a big trigger. His new job requires occassional nights away, I know that's a trigger too.

I want to see the value in the positive and I want to keep it through a lapse. This IS about my feelings re him, but of course I have hopes and feelings.

4 weeks is good news but maybe I need a little help to feel that as much as I think it!

gelfling

4 weeks is an awful long time for the alcoholic to go without drinking. It's actually amazingly wonderful. One week is wonderful too.

elizabeth1979

Four weeks is to be commended. Excellent!

Most of us miss out on life's big prizes. The Pulitzer. The Nobel. Oscars. Tonys. Emmys. But we're all eligible for life's small pleasures. A pat on the back. A kiss behind the ear. A four-pound bass. A full moon. An empty parking space. A crackling fire. A great meal. A glorious sunset. Hot soup.

--Anonymous

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending."
-- Carl Bard

"Life is like a grinding stone - it can polish you or pulverize you - depending on how you position yourself"
-- Larry De Angelo

equus

Thanks - now I'm wearing a great big smile!!

I gave D an extra big hug when he came home, thanked him and told him what this time has meant!

I'm now cooking one of his favourite teas - bangers, fresh sage, roast tatty's, roast apple and parsnip with swede mash. I AM happy!

pmaslan

I have no idea what all that stuff is that you are cooking E...but it is wonderful to
see you so happy....here's a big hug from me to the pair of you........

susane1408

Good init!!
(((Equus&D)))

equus

Yes it is good - heheheheh me and ma' cooking, it's just about the most expressive thing I do. I reckon what's on the plate always reflects my mood to some degree and tonight's will be downright yummy. Just cut my sage and sprinkled over the sausages and apple that are sat on a thin layer of butter ready for the oven!

robina

So true - it's a really positive step.

Robin

Oh my goodness, that sounds delicious.

cwohio

darn it equus - there ya go again getting the old drool machine in my mouth working! considering the odds - 1 month is fantastic!!!!

robina

Thanks, that was beautifull.

Robin

equus

Thanks all of you! I mean it - you've really helped because I wanted to FEEL this and I am. Today in it's own right.

And SEE it wasn't me that brought up food first!!

I just salted, garlic'ed and peppered my oil for the roast tatty's and parsnips - now I'm waiting for the tatty's to be ready for the oven - tossed first to get 'em crispy!