Soul Catcher

I got a letter today from a county stating that he failed to pay a fine for reckless driving!!! He never mentioned it or failed to remember. It's 133.00 ticket. So on the 20 of December they are going to suspend his license. What an idiot. What I really do not understand is how he keeps getting pulled over and NONE of these cops are giving him a breathalizer. He is obviously drunk. I even had a cop drop him off at my front door but because he was out of the vehicle and the keys were out of the ignition they could NOT do anything. They gave him a ride home, why didn't they just offer him a beer. That night he hit a woman and her child with his truck, they were in their car. He just makes me sick.
Had to vent. Thanks

Beautiful

What you "can't remember" you don't have to be accountable for...........

If that were me, they would've sent me to prison and thrown away the key *before* passing GO and collecting $200.00~

Chin up ~ Sorry for your stress.

TomsGirl

Take a deep breath SC and ... detach. His ticket, his problem. My husband is facing his second DUI and probation violation for his DUI back in February. It may cause him sleepless nights but it sure doesn't bother me.

chrisea

well for me, too many hidden or throw them away dui, reckless, whatever, adds up to plenty $$$ for fines, attorney costs, classes, gas & time to drive him to these, fee for hook up & monthly cost of the breathlizer in the car, and where is the I help you, you help me, in that relationship... just my take on that, what costs him, cost the family budget. Then even after they leave (as in my x) there are doorknockers with papers in hand, hopin' they can find out where he is from whomever... If this were me, had a decent man & did this kinda of stuff, I don't think he would stick around long.

TomsGirl

Well I don't drive him around and the $ he got from the insurance from his car being totalled is paying his attorney. Fines, fees, monthly probation costs ... I won't pay them. Of course, I own my own home and we have nothing joint from a financial perspective. Also, I don't need a dime from him to survive financially so my situation allows me to just say "Your actions ... your consequences." I know other's don't have it that way and I know I sure didn't have it that way with my first marriage. Maybe that's why I did it so differently, from a financial perspective anyway, the second time around. Didn't do so well the second time around on NOT ending up with a depressed A. Sometimes makes me wonder if there's any "normal" men left out there. Or maybe I have a big sign on my back that I can't see??? lol

Mr. Christian

Well it’s easy to say his ticket his problem, but his actions will affect you legally and financially.
So with that said, you must know something needs to be done.

Letting go will not protect your home and money, so the next steps will be hard.

TomsGirl

Ah Mr Christian, I don't live in a community property state. Believe me, I'm protected. For those that share joint financials with their A well then they are certainly in a different boat than me. Let's put it this way, I may be blonde but I ain't dumb.

Soul Catcher

I get all the money so I will have to pay it. I really really hope they put a breathalizer in his vehicle. I will think that's the funniest thing EVER.
He makes the money and I get it for the house and the bills. I figure he works for it so it's less that he gets. No sweat off of my back. I just wonder how the law works that its all he got. Plus....he wasn't even supposed to be in the county he got the ticket so he's up to no good.

FormerDoormat

Apparently, all of us codies do.

chrisea

during the time I was with xabf, for getting him out of his 1st dui, I drove him around. It was awful, and made up my mind it wasn't going to be me doing this again. There was a show on dateline, about all the people who don't have anyone driving them around, interesting.
From what I have heard, you could put someone thru college for a yr with the 2nd and more fines, etc. Eventually it wasn't another dui but not paying child support that his licence was suspended again, then I found out from the court system of 2 more dui's... Enough for me. I'm not on the financial road to lots of $$$, but am doing much better, since he left. If the person is handy with other stuff, like helping around the house, maybe that would be an incentive for helping him, by supporting him. After all in my case, I was paying all my bills, he increased my utilities, I paid for his bills. He started to pay for his own, but just didn't have enough $ to do what He is use to. I have been asked by the doorknockers and telephone collection agents ~ Are you a wife, or are you a relative? No Way!!! I think there are some normal men out there, but the saying A Few Good Men... They were right about that.

Soul Catcher

Oh I will lie if I'm asked if I'm his wife. I'll give them his work address. They can go there.

TomsGirl

Oh, I have freely given my share of money. I'm not totally without stupidity! lol And at the moment he is just about flat broke. I provide him food and shelter but that's it. That's where my buck stops. He will owe God knows what from his DUI's, he owes big time on his credit card and he is way behind on his Child Support. If he ends up doing jail time for any of it that's too bad. But he's working on his recovery and that's finally a step in the right direction and I'm working on mine. And with that said there is no way, NO WAY I'm taking the heat for any of the financial obligations he has.

minnie

Not sure that 2 wrongs will make a right and save you from possible financial implications. I have no idea about the laws in your State, but if he hits someone and kills them, then that could backfire on you in a major way. Isn't the house in his name? Have you looked into getting a least a legal separation, if not a divorce?

Jazzman

In VA, and the deed to the house is in both names, the house can not be included in a law suit. You might want to check with a Lawyer... I added Ms' name to the deed after we were married and that was the 1st question I asked a Lawyer. I had every reason to worry my assets involved a law suit from an injured third party. SC, what would happen if he goes to jail for any length of time? Would the financial support go away?

elizabeth1979

Im not clear on a couple things. Just because you collect his paychecks, you have to pay his ticket? Perhaps you can give him the $133 in cash out of his own money along with the letter. Why would it be your responsibility to make sure his license is not suspended?

Soul Catcher

Well, I literally get ALL the money. I do not have to work so I pretty much stay in the house that he pays for. He pays all the bills. When I do work part time it's only once in a blue moon. So since he works and busts his butt I will pay his ticket. Well, I will give him the money and he can go pay it of course. I'm not going to drive counties away to go pay it...heck no.
If he did get thrown in jail, I would have an attorney print me out a power of attorney and I would sell the house. I would probably move in with my mother until it sells and after it does I will put the money in the bank and move on. I do NOT want this house in my name because just in case something DOES happen I do not want it on my credit. I may have to use my credit to get me and the kids a house one day soon. I do not count on him living any longer then another year.
Plus if he gets pulled and goes to jail then yes money will be short so if we get his license back or not suspended then he can work.
I give him so little it's sad. He only wants a little. He barely has enough to eat on. Heck he can find $2 for a bottle of vodka anywhere. He has made it possible for me to stay at home and have everything I want so I feel I can help him a bit. Not toooo much though. If he kills someone I don't know what I will do. Cross that bridge when the time comes. Hopefully it won't come.
He has no recollection of the ticket...go figure.

Soul Catcher

Don't get me wrong, I do enough in this house where I bust my butt too, plus with the three kids and school and EVERYTHING else I am far from not working but our kids have never gone to daycare and for that I am thankful. I'll help him to a point. I know, I know, where's my help??? Don't know. I don't expect it so I don't miss it.

meli2005

he probably doesn't show you because he doesn't want you to think he has a drinking problem. I'm sorry he is hiding stuff from you. It is hurtful.

Soul Catcher

Oh meli, he knows. I think I'm the one that pointed it out. He's just done so much that you think he can't come up with anything more that will surprise you. Especially when I know almost everything he does....almost. There's always another surprise around the corner.
Ya know....it doesn't really hurt any more, it just makes him look more pathdic.

minnie

Do you let him know just how pathetic you think he is and how little respect you have for him?