CA Chatterbox-Anon.....
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
CA Chatterbox-Anon.....
Any alternatives? I know - TALK THERAPY!! (Joke - nowt to do with post!)
This morning D was talking about alcohol - freely, not wanting it, not banishing the subject to the nether regions. He talked about times he might have to do an overnight stop in this new job, he said he'd find a Travel Lodge somewhere no-where near a pub - he knows that will be hard, hotels are just pubs with a bed in the uk! He also asked if I would go with him, said he'd mentioned it at work and they were happy to make overnight stops on a Friday where they could (he only said he'd like me to go - not why). THIS is what I've been waiting for, HIS responsibility but if he needs help ask, then let me freely decide what I can offer. I said I'd go when it didn't interfere with my work and when S could take the dogs easily.
Then MORE talk, he doesn't want to drink at all right now (I'm glad of that break for him). He said when they ask at work he'll just say alcohol doesn't agree with him - that's preparation, thinking ahead, planning.
We had a whole 'normal', not tense, open, easy conversation. D TALKING, sober, TALKING, at ease, TALKING about something close to him, something hard, something he wants a hand with. Oh and in amongst all this he mentioned he was begining to find social events FUN sober!! I'd said I've discovered I'm just as much of a nutter without a drink and he said he was getting that way too!
Am I asleep? Is this possible? Can a job, being wanted and paid REALLY do this in one month? Is there some kind of natural law that means you get bombarded with good stuff at the same rate as bad sometimes?
I'm trying to just love it all and livefor the day but I'm not sure it's any easier this way round than the other - I'm begining to wonder if I'm going nuts!
This morning D was talking about alcohol - freely, not wanting it, not banishing the subject to the nether regions. He talked about times he might have to do an overnight stop in this new job, he said he'd find a Travel Lodge somewhere no-where near a pub - he knows that will be hard, hotels are just pubs with a bed in the uk! He also asked if I would go with him, said he'd mentioned it at work and they were happy to make overnight stops on a Friday where they could (he only said he'd like me to go - not why). THIS is what I've been waiting for, HIS responsibility but if he needs help ask, then let me freely decide what I can offer. I said I'd go when it didn't interfere with my work and when S could take the dogs easily.
Then MORE talk, he doesn't want to drink at all right now (I'm glad of that break for him). He said when they ask at work he'll just say alcohol doesn't agree with him - that's preparation, thinking ahead, planning.
We had a whole 'normal', not tense, open, easy conversation. D TALKING, sober, TALKING, at ease, TALKING about something close to him, something hard, something he wants a hand with. Oh and in amongst all this he mentioned he was begining to find social events FUN sober!! I'd said I've discovered I'm just as much of a nutter without a drink and he said he was getting that way too!
Am I asleep? Is this possible? Can a job, being wanted and paid REALLY do this in one month? Is there some kind of natural law that means you get bombarded with good stuff at the same rate as bad sometimes?
I'm trying to just love it all and livefor the day but I'm not sure it's any easier this way round than the other - I'm begining to wonder if I'm going nuts!
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
Equus....
Never underestimate the power of unconditional love and support... ;o)
One day at a time...
one right thing after another...
Praying for continued blessings on one hardworkin.. persistant woman.. and her much loved man..
Never underestimate the power of unconditional love and support... ;o)
One day at a time...
one right thing after another...
Praying for continued blessings on one hardworkin.. persistant woman.. and her much loved man..
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: somewhere, USA
Posts: 1
Happy for you
I am happy for you. I've wondered the same thing that if a mountain of BAD can come tumbling down on you, if a mountain of good could do it too. Thanks for sharing, and I'm very glad your Good is starting, it's giving me hope that my mountain of good will continue the small tumbles it's doing now and turn into a full fledged avalanche. 
But most importantly that I'll be able to see it and appreciate and let the old bad mountains fade away.:Flush:
But most importantly that I'll be able to see it and appreciate and let the old bad mountains fade away.:Flush:
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Speaking from a point of view that can relate...
I have had a very good career. Each position and job change moving up in responsibility, challenges and excitement, (and pay). Unfortunately the Telecom boom also had a bust. In the fall of 2003 I was identified as "redundant" along with the 14 folks that worked for me. Never in my life had I been laid off, let go or without a job since I was 13. Even though I had plenty of advance warning and was prepared financially for months with no income, it still took its toll on me. To suddenly have NO job to go to every morning... To break a routine so ingrained.... The good news is I was only unemployed for three months. No financial horror stories and it felt SO good to get back to work. My low mood lifted the day I was offered my current job, even with pleanty of "billls" money still in the bank.
When I didn't have a job to get up and go to every morning, it was he!! on me. Not a happy guy to be around. I'm tempted to say it's a guy thing but I don't think that fits here...
Maybe just that guys can relate more to those types of feelings???
OR, maybe it's a workaholic thing... wow...
*light bulb moment for Jazz*
must ponder this
Anyway... Yes! It could very well be the job! I know it would be for me.
I have had a very good career. Each position and job change moving up in responsibility, challenges and excitement, (and pay). Unfortunately the Telecom boom also had a bust. In the fall of 2003 I was identified as "redundant" along with the 14 folks that worked for me. Never in my life had I been laid off, let go or without a job since I was 13. Even though I had plenty of advance warning and was prepared financially for months with no income, it still took its toll on me. To suddenly have NO job to go to every morning... To break a routine so ingrained.... The good news is I was only unemployed for three months. No financial horror stories and it felt SO good to get back to work. My low mood lifted the day I was offered my current job, even with pleanty of "billls" money still in the bank.
When I didn't have a job to get up and go to every morning, it was he!! on me. Not a happy guy to be around. I'm tempted to say it's a guy thing but I don't think that fits here...
Maybe just that guys can relate more to those types of feelings???
OR, maybe it's a workaholic thing... wow...
*light bulb moment for Jazz*
must ponder this
Anyway... Yes! It could very well be the job! I know it would be for me.
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Ahem...it's not just a guy thing. 
I've been laid off and I know of what you speak.
I think in a society where we define ourselves by what we do, this is a fairly common phenomenon.
And I'm not really a person who defines myself by what I do.
But feeling helpless and incomeless was a struggle every single day until I landed another job.
God I hope so.
I've been laid off and I know of what you speak.
I think in a society where we define ourselves by what we do, this is a fairly common phenomenon.
And I'm not really a person who defines myself by what I do.
But feeling helpless and incomeless was a struggle every single day until I landed another job.
Originally Posted by equus
Is there some kind of natural law that means you get bombarded with good stuff at the same rate as bad sometimes?
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Well it's the only flamin' thing I can think of that's brought this about!! A month ago he'd lost the plot and didn't have a fraction of the confidence needed even to fill out an application form - then WALLOP he get's an interview from a CV he gave out months ago! Until that day I'd no idea how MUCH he wanted to be working.
I can see why it would matter but no-one sane would have expected it to have this much effect. He knows he's values and loved at home - I suppose now he knows he's valued out there too, it being a good responsible job helps, them hiring him KNOWING most of what happened helps, (enough clues to have half a hunch with drinking too!!).
Anyway it's as near as I can get to an explaination and I need something or I'd check myself into the funny farm!
We got a new mattress 4 days ago too.....
I can see why it would matter but no-one sane would have expected it to have this much effect. He knows he's values and loved at home - I suppose now he knows he's valued out there too, it being a good responsible job helps, them hiring him KNOWING most of what happened helps, (enough clues to have half a hunch with drinking too!!).
Anyway it's as near as I can get to an explaination and I need something or I'd check myself into the funny farm!
If I may borrow a word from another post.... Bonk? *LOL*
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
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Originally Posted by Gabe
That explains a lot.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Originally Posted by Gabe
Admitted we were powerless over our mattress obsession and that our lives had become unmanageable.
You have no idea what I'd do to feed my comfy bed eddiction.... *eyes glow red, then yellow*
Eq, I have never been a proponent of abstinence. 
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I'm just about to light a few candles, drop some perfumed oil around the place, take up the little stereo and a CD with indian raga's and be flippin's gateful for all that is - right here, right now because I don't think a human being on the planet knows what comes tomorrow.
Maybe it'sa gift in it's own way - to know that.
Ehem... the mattress ain't worn out yet!!!
Maybe it'sa gift in it's own way - to know that.
Ehem... the mattress ain't worn out yet!!!
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