Thought I was "BETTER"
Thought I was "BETTER"
Hi, this is my 1st post here. i have 2yrs and 9 months free from alcohol and drugs!!!!!!!!!!! i haven't been to a meeting for months, i thought i did my time in therapy, group and meetings and finally felt strong! I changed my life and took my self out of the situations i was causing! i am finally content with being a mom and staying at home! BUT..........there's always that but......... recently i have been thinking about how about 1 beer, i could drink it at home, i wouldn't be going out, i wouldn't be hanging with the wrong crowd, there would be no drugs involved. I think i am ok to have just 1. ya know i think about it but i know 1 leads to 2 and then what?!? I have new friends that care about me that didn't know me before, and they say why not have 1, you'll be ok, but i know deep in my heart i'll never be ok. i will always have to be stronger than my urges, i worked so hard to get to where i am know, why do i always try to cause drama? Im worried about the holidays and stress, i haven't felt these feelings in a long time. Well, thanks for listening....it always helps, to write and see the feelings!!!!!!!!!
Just 4 2day,
Shellie
Just 4 2day,
Shellie
Originally Posted by 42day
Hi, this is my 1st post here. I think i am ok to have just 1. ya know i think about it but i know 1 leads to 2 and then what?!? I have new friends that care about me that didn't know me before, and they say why not have 1, Im worried about the holidays and stress, i haven't felt these feelings in a long time. Well, thanks for listening....it always helps, to write and see the feelings!!!!!!!!!
Just 4 2day,
Shellie
Just 4 2day,
Shellie
Love Vic
Originally Posted by 42day
I think i am ok to have just 1. ya know i think about it but i know 1 leads to 2 and then what?!? I have new friends that care about me that didn't know me before, and they say why not have 1, you'll be ok, but i know deep in my heart i'll never be ok. i will always have to be stronger than my urges, i worked so hard to get to where i am know, why do i always try to cause drama?
Yup, good going on playing the tape to the end. I can't have just one of anything, it always leads to more and more and more and MORE. It's not the caboose of the train that kills ya, right?
Do you go to meetings? I find that having friends in recovery helps tremendously, not having to worry about alcohol being served at events or invitations out to bars. And you know what? I prefer it that way. I don't miss that whole lifestyle.
Keep posting. There is lots of good recovery here.
Welcome Shellie
Yes the holidays can bring out a few feelings. The brother in law that insists I have one and is told no 5 times before he gives up on asking.
Misery loves company. We know what the misery feels like and that becomes my thought most times. They want to justify their misery, so they ask me to join them with just one. One opens the door. The second one, opens the flood gates.
It is nice you are thinking things through...before they are needed.
remember...one day or one moment at a time, if needed.
Yes the holidays can bring out a few feelings. The brother in law that insists I have one and is told no 5 times before he gives up on asking.
Misery loves company. We know what the misery feels like and that becomes my thought most times. They want to justify their misery, so they ask me to join them with just one. One opens the door. The second one, opens the flood gates.
It is nice you are thinking things through...before they are needed.
remember...one day or one moment at a time, if needed.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: bayside. ny
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by 42day
Hi, this is my 1st post here. i have 2yrs and 9 months free from alcohol and drugs!!!!!!!!!!! i haven't been to a meeting for months, i thought i did my time in therapy, group and meetings and finally felt strong! I changed my life and took my self out of the situations i was causing! i am finally content with being a mom and staying at home! BUT..........there's always that but......... recently i have been thinking about how about 1 beer, i could drink it at home, i wouldn't be going out, i wouldn't be hanging with the wrong crowd, there would be no drugs involved. I think i am ok to have just 1. ya know i think about it but i know 1 leads to 2 and then what?!? I have new friends that care about me that didn't know me before, and they say why not have 1, you'll be ok, but i know deep in my heart i'll never be ok. i will always have to be stronger than my urges, i worked so hard to get to where i am know, why do i always try to cause drama? Im worried about the holidays and stress, i haven't felt these feelings in a long time. Well, thanks for listening....it always helps, to write and see the feelings!!!!!!!!!
Just 4 2day,
Shellie
Just 4 2day,
Shellie
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: grumpyville, co
Posts: 115
Shellie,
Hello and welcome! Wow someone else who feels like I do. I can't tell you how many times recently I have thought to myself, just one beer or a little bit of my favorite doc,or even one night of play, I am clean now so I could handle it right? Hah I am so funny! Sometimes I think I forget that I am an addict with the disease of addiction. It just doesn't go away because I have been clean for 93 days, I have to work hard everyday to fight it. I am proud of you cause you are fighting it too. Keep coming back and posting, and remember . . . 1 is to many and a 1000 are never enough.
Hugs & Laughter
GRUMPY
Hello and welcome! Wow someone else who feels like I do. I can't tell you how many times recently I have thought to myself, just one beer or a little bit of my favorite doc,or even one night of play, I am clean now so I could handle it right? Hah I am so funny! Sometimes I think I forget that I am an addict with the disease of addiction. It just doesn't go away because I have been clean for 93 days, I have to work hard everyday to fight it. I am proud of you cause you are fighting it too. Keep coming back and posting, and remember . . . 1 is to many and a 1000 are never enough.
Hugs & Laughter
GRUMPY
I don't know the meaning of 'one beer', it always ended with some of that 'non-habit forming cocaine' (in the words of my brother LA Tony).
DON"T DO IT. It's the disease talking to you.
DON"T DO IT. It's the disease talking to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
"i haven't been to a meeting for months,"
If this is true, then it doesn't surprise me that you are thinking about 1 beer. Going to meetings on a regular is a great defense against using drugs/alcohol again.
If this is true, then it doesn't surprise me that you are thinking about 1 beer. Going to meetings on a regular is a great defense against using drugs/alcohol again.
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