I_am

I have been in my 2nd marriage for 5 1/2 yrs (together 8 1/2 yrs). Just recently discovered my H is an alcoholic. Sounds stupid I know but I have never lived with an A before. I knew he drank daily but thought nothing of 3-4 beers a night, more on weekends & holidays.
About 1 mo. ago I discovered he was having an affair & I kicked him out of the house. While gone he is in counseling & started going to AA. He has admitted he is an A and has been sober for 28 days today. He admitted to me that he was drinking everyday before coming home, something I was not aware of at all. He is back in the house now and goes to AA daily as well as has a sponsor.

I'm just hoping to get an idea of what the road ahead may look like??? I dearly love him but do not want to be with him if the drinking starts back up. We have 6 kids between us ( 4 his & 2 mine). He is 48 yrs old & has been drinking since he was 15.

Thanks.
I_am

Gabe

Heya I_am, welcome to Sober Recovery.
I wish I had a crystal ball, and I would tell you what the road ahead looks like.
Since I can't do that, I'll just tell you that the best way all this works is taking it one day at a time.
Just for today, it sounds like he is actively pursuing recovery.
That's great.

gelfling

Hi I Am...

Please consider attending alanon meetings. You'll learn a lot. They give out free brochures and literature. Get everything and read read and read some more. Telling you what's going to happen is pretty much impossible. Every individual is different. But helping yourself should be your first priority.

Keep coming back...we're always here for you.

Blessings

bonbon

Welcome here. Just to let you know incase you didnt already....you have found not only hope here but a world of support and excellent information, so keep on coming.

What stood out to me in your post....What will the road ahead look like you ask? I can tell you that it will be bumpy, and that you WILL need your seatbelt, maybe some armour and a helmett? Those would be just a FEW things I would pack to take with me, knowing what I know now.

But...one day at a time YOU can take care of YOU. This place can help you do just that.

Welcome...

Many hugs.

I_am

Thanks for the welcome.
I have been to 1 Al-anon meeting so far. I felt out of place there and I am checking into other meetings in my area in hopes that another one will fit me better. My AH & I have also started attending church together.

Thanks again for the support.

gelfling

I...Don't stop at one. Please. My first alanon meeting didn't impress me. Keep looking and find other meetings. It will click for you.

Blessings

guyinNC

Alcohol is one thing....adultry is something else.

Can you forgive him for that?

Alcoholics lie, that is what they do.....

Jazzman

Welcome to SR I_am. You will find lots of folks here that have been there done that and are currently going through the same thing. Good support mechanismhere. I don't have a crystal ball either but know that things changed for me when I set my boundaries and stuck to them. Good luck and keep posting.

pmaslan

Welcome to SR.....
Just remember that "nothing changes if nothing changes."
Boundries are my best guess at a crystal ball....set em' and stick to em'
If you do that you can pretty much guess what "your" life will be like....
Glad you found us.