grasshopperpie

I know I'm pretty new to recovery myself, but if it's okay with you guys, I'd like to reach out to some other newbies here--maybe someone just deciding whether or not to quit. I'm NOT by any means giving advice, as I'm still learning, too....just sharing what has been an absolutely amazing turn of events in a very short time in my life. One that I never, ever would have believed possible.

Tomorrow will be three weeks since I found this site, and since I truly decided to stop drinking. The two coincided exactly--I was very lucky. I'd been drinking heavily for two or three years, and was up to a fifth of bourbon EVERY day. Anyway, I was scared as hell, as indicated by my fabulously original and brilliant introductory thread title, "I'm Scared"....lol.

I was terrified of everything--the withdrawal, facing the reasons I needed to drink, coping without 'help', loneliness, anxiety, boredom, the physical side effects, missing my old life, missing my drinking buddies, missing my old pal Jim Beam, etc...

As it turns out, these are the terrible, awful things that have happened to me since November 2nd:

-I look better (no more red eyes, dull skin, bloated face).
-I feel better.
-I don't reek of booze.
-My headaches are practically gone.
-My blood pressure has gone down.
-I've lost weight (six pounds in three weeks).
-My workout is ten times easier, more productive and more enjoyable.
-I pray more genuinely, and not just mostly for myself all the time.
-I'm drawing and painting again--before I was either too drunk or my hands shook too much.
-I'm not tired during the day (okay, I'm not tired at night either...lol...I'll get to that).
-I don't say or do nearly as many stupid things.
-I remember where I put my keys--and pretty much everything else.
-I don't wake up with that dreadful feeling, trying to remember what dumb thing I did or said the night before--which was almost always the case.
-My husband and I fight so much less, and are much closer.
-I've discovered you can be sober without being anxious!
-I remember conversations.
-I remember movie plots.
-I don't 'accidentally' bump into things, so no new bruises to explain or injuries to nurse.
-I am getting more work done--and better work.
-I don't have to make excuses as to why I missed that deadline or forgot that birthday.
-My confidence is coming back.
-My bank account is building up (lots more to spend on Christmas presents, for starters).
-I worry less.
-I cry less, and when I do, it's a 'good' cry.
-I am proud of myself, for the first time in a long, long time.
-I'm happier, and I mean, a genuine 'get up and dance' happy, not a false and fleeting inebriation happy.

Okay, okay...there is one not-so-great thing. I seem to have forgotten how to sleep...lol. I'm up at all hours and when I finally catch some Zs, it's not that many. But the 'old pros' here tell me that will pass. And that things will get even better. If they can possibly get better than this, well I am pretty excited to see it happen!

I'm not sugar-coating this. I swear to God I'm not. If you are new, and reading this, I don't blame you for being skeptical, though. If someone had told me I'd feel this fantastic after three weeks without booze, I'd never have believed them, either.

I know my own story is unique, and that it doesn't happen the same way for every person, every time. And I know I still have a hell of a lot of work to do on myself, and that I'm certainly no expert. I do realize, too, that people often need medical supervision when quitting. But I just wanted to let someone know, in a general way, how much better life can get when you put down that bottle. Even at this stage. I feel like screaming it from my roof top.

I'm sorry if I'm being an overly enthusiastic newbie, but the realization has hit me very hard tonight. So I sat down and made that list, and then decided to share it here.

best

An enthusiastic newbie is what makes your every word count.
Your joy will say to others.... I want that as well.

Thank you for sharing.

Phinneas

((((grasshopperpie))))

The changes for the better truly have been amazing. I am so glad you shared because it is yet more proof that IT DOES GET BETTER. If you are sick and stuck in alcoholism it is so hard to see that. But people like you sharing your success and joys can help those in that dark place think maybe, just maybe, things can get better for me, too.

jbm125

Hi Grasshopperpie and congratulations on your new found freedom from booze. You no longer wake up needing a drink, you no longer feel the need for a drink to do anything and everything you no longer feel depressed and 'less than'(booze is a depressant),you're no longer embarrassed by yourself, you no longer need lie and look over your shoulder all the time, you no longer feel as though people are looking at you and somehow 'know', you're no longer afraid of the phone ringing or the mail or dealing with those you love, you're no longer afraid something will have to be dealt with and you won't be able to deal with it, you're no longer afraid of 'drop-ins at home......the list goes on.
I'm describing myself of course and most if not all alcoholics I know. I'm clean and sober since 1/15/99 and I'm amazed that you could concentrate and focus long enough to write what you did after only 21 days. I could barely dress myself and deal with the basics of life when I was 21 days sober. And I count my sobriety date not from my last drink but when I got out of rehab and had the ability to go and buy booze if I wanted to blow the 28 days I spent in detox/rehab.
However you did it I hope you're in AA and going to meetings to help someone with one day less than you. Your success story could do wonders.
The last line of AA's preamble is "Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety".
I hope your enthusiasm and accomplishments inspire one person to believe they can do it. If so what you wrote should be put on billboards all across this great country.
Posted in every bar and liquor store. It's truly amazing how we can get our lives back.
What you've done is an inspiration and helped me stay sober 'just for today' cuz 'one day at a time' is all most of us can do.
God bless

Zimmer

Thanks for shareing, it really helps.

Little Missy

(((GP))) Fabulous!! I'm smiling here!! So happy for you!! Freedom from alcohol is an amazing thing!! Keep up the good work!!

Hugs,
Missy

lulu70

(((((((GP))))))) Thank you for sharing. Life is OH so much better without alcohol. We are heading into the holiday season. It is a difficult time for anyone, but especially for the alcoholic. There are so many "reasons" to keep on drinking this time of year. However, this holiday, I am so grateful to be clean and sober and to be able to really enjoy the time with my family and friends.

I'm so glad you are doing so well. Don't ever discount your value to EVERYONE fighting this disease. Today, you helped keep us ALL sober...

Hugs--

nogard

GP, simply inspirational, makes me wanna race off and give up booze... oh I already did, see what an effect

You Rock Mate

I can so relate, on with the

Kevin

grasshopperpie

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read my (very lengthy...lol) post, and for your kind responses.

I was a little worried I was stepping out of line, since I am so new to recovery, myself. But as I said, I am not giving advice (I'm not qualified to, by any means). Just sharing what has really been a remarkable process for me, in a very short time.

I'm absolutely delighted that it helped one person. That is the most wonderful thing I could have heard, Zimmer. Thank you.

To be honest, I posted it here for myself, too. When I am tempted (and I will be) to pick up that glass of wine at a Christmas party, or that special bottle of bourbon my parents keep on-hand for me at holiday time (they don't believe I 'really' have a problem), I want to be able to look at this, and REMEMBER how good sobriety feels.

My struggle's not done by any stretch. It's just beginning. I certainly don't think I'm cured, and don't know if I ever will be. But I do know I've been blessed with a second chance to get things right. And also an early Christmas gift, very soon into my recovery--and that's a clear realization of how things can be if I stay on this path. Keeping with the Christmas theme, call it the 'Ghost of Sobriety Future', if you will...lol.

The feelings simply overwhelmed me last night, and I was compelled to share them. I'm just truly awed, and so grateful to have been given this 'sneak peek' at life without alcohol.

Again, thanks for reading.

Cheers,

GP

daddysgirl29

Bless you for sharing that. It helps me a lot.

Hugs,

janeeyre

Your post, grasshopper pie, was wonderful. The perfect bit of reading to head into Thanksgiving Day with.

jmhs002

Thanks for sharing your story - isn't sobriety a good way to live????

CarolD

Hi GP! And the best is yet to be!

cncinc

I really messed up. Crashed, DUI ticket, went to jail. And all on the way to pick up my kid.

No other cars involved, no injuries, thank God.

ru4outoo

thanks GH for sharing, it is a wonderful feeling to have our lives back and the best is yet to come,I know for me it has been a awesome road and I am so glad I quit. Your words are a inspiration to many and thanks for posting your success story and I look foreward to read many more from you.

Iroha

Thanks for sharing grasshopperpie, this was the first thread I decided to read, and reply to, I joined the forum today after bookmarking it months ago (not that I can remember doing so).

I can relate a lot to what you said, It's now just 2 days since I had a drink, I've stopped before for a few weeks, a few months, but I really want to stop for good this time. Actually, if I'm honest, I don't want to stop, there's still that voice in my head saying, "I could have just one more night of fun", but I'm trying not to give into that voice so easily, and I did give into it too easily.

Ironically, today, here in the UK, the government just extended the licensing laws to 24 hour drinking, and the newspapers and TV coverage are full of the news of ex-footballer, George Best, who looks likely die within the next day or two, having previously received a liver-transplant after a life-time of alcoholism.

I think all this came to a head for me today, and made me think I really don't want to end up like that when I'm 60. I'm ashamed of myself for being a drunk in my mid-20s, I feel like I've wasted my youth.

I didn't want to make a new post exclaiming 'new member here', I felt like I might be intruding on the forum (even though I'm intruding this thread!) - I'm gonna have a read of the rest of the forums now.

grasshopperpie

Thank you so much for posting that, Iroha. That means more to me than I can describe. I am delighted you have joined up, and wish you all the best of luck in your recovery. I, too, can relate to sooooo much of what you wrote. And you are certainly NOT intruding on this thread. Anything but. I am honestly overwhelmed that what I wrote reached you in any way, and so pleased you are here. Thank you. If you started with this thread, I think you will see that the rest of the site just gets better and better. It's helped me so much in this early recovery of mine, and I hope it helps you, too.

grasshopperpie

Sorry to bump my own thread, but I figured it was a better idea than starting yet another one...lol.

I am sorry that I haven't been around much. Have been facing some crazy pre-Christmas deadlines (am working on one right now, in fact--will be up all night), and it hasn't left a lot of time to post. Thank you so much for all who asked about me. I hope I have returned all of your messages.

I just wanted to say that I am doing very well. Working on Day 36 now, and am happier than I can *ever* remember being. I just realized this, as I was finishing my projects and really enjoying the work, drinking cocoa, listening to tunes, and literally singing along and bopping around in my chair. A month or two ago, I would find myself in this *very* same situation--up against a deadline--but instead of feeling joy, I was angry, stressed, frustrated, giving it a half-arsed effort, and struggling to 'get through it' with copious amounts of booze.

I'm so grateful for my wonderful job (and that I didn't lose it--a miracle!), and have redisovered just how much I loved it in the first place. My marriage is more solid than ever. Everything has just improved exponentially in my life since I put down that bottle.

I'm not looking for praise or 'way to gos', here. I don't even know if I *could* feel better, anyway...lol. Just hoping that maybe this update might offer a bit of hope to any newbie who happens upon it. 36 days is such a short time, but I remember how long even that seemed on Day One.

I was positively bursting with joy when I made the first post in this thread. I am even happier now. Sure, there have been bad days. But fewer and fewer as I go along. And the good ones outnumber them by far.

I know I sound like Pollyanna Susie Sunshine, and I'm sure some of you are ready to hurl. But hey, it's the God's honest truth. You guys were so right--it really does get better. It's only been 36 days, but so far, so freaking great!

Thank you so much, all of you. I am incredibly grateful for the support and encouragement I have found in you and your site. I am so grateful to see 'me' starting to come back again, too. I really feared she was gone forever.

Cheers,

GP

nevermind

Such strong and incredibly powerful words. You give great hope to the newcomers and old-timers alike with you message of true inspiration. Thanks for sharing that! My heart has been touched today!