Cindi R

As an addict, {rephrase that} a grateful addict addict in recovery...I will tell you that I grew up in a home where my daddy was the practicing drunk. My mom was the Sunday school teacher. My dad was a great guy when he was sober, at least all of his friends said so...
When daddy would come home drunk, he would beat my mom. She eventually divorced him when I was 12.
I was the oldest child, my brother and I, we were pawns in the game of alcoholism...daddy would threaten to take us far, far away where mom would never see us again. In reality, we spent many nights sitting in the car in the parking lots of bars, being scared of the drunks staggering by the car...
I started using alcohol and drugs at age 14...and my brother at age 10.
It was a continuing visicous cycle....
I didn't like the blackouts & hangovers...so in order to be not like my father ...I found methamphetamines to be my drug of choice, as did my little brother.
He spent sixty some months in prison out of a 72 month sentence on drug charges...
I never got caught...I continued to use...
until I was "busted" at work...I almost lost my job...and I saw other mothers who had actually lost their kids...
On my 4th sobriety anniversary...my other little brother was involved in an attempted "suicide by cop" incident...he was 20 years old and had a gun drinking and driving in the big city with a friend. They got into a fight...he shot his friend 6 times, then led the police on a high speed chase and got out of the car with probably an empty gun...
They fired at him 18 times at close range...he was hit twice. One bullet almost nicked his aorta...missed it by a half an inch.
I choose to look at that as a miracle...
In recovery...I chose recovery...my spouse did not.
I had to choose divorce...
To protect my sobriety, my sanity, and to protect my children from being removed from their home...
Our divorce was final 13 days after our 25th wedding anniversary...
Today I have peace and serenity in my life...
No more conflict and drama...
Not everyday has been a cake walk!
My dad and my ex are still out there...
I have learned much from the al-anoners...
Didn't cause, can't control, & can't cure...
Prayers and hugs for all those affected by this disease of addiction

JT

Brilliantly written! Not my story but the end result is the same...

Thanks for sharing and (((hugs)))

DesertEyes

Wow Cindi, great share. Thanx for reminding me of all the things I have to be grateful for. I left my wife due to her addiction after 19yrs, the al-anon program saved my sanity. AA kept me sober thru it all.

Thanx again for sharing so honestly.

Mike :-)