I feel like I dont know who i am
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Shamrock, tx
Posts: 2
I feel like I dont know who i am
Hi, I am new to this forum, I am not new to sobriety tho. I used to have an everyday drinking habit of at least a 5th of whiskey. I had always drank, but the last stretch was about 3 solid years of everyday drinking. I also of course had dabbled in drugs pot coke etc...
I met a girl and not that she asked me to change or anything but first i just stopped doing drugs, then gradually quit drinking. My problem is that after I quit i was no longer happy inside. I guess I never had been, but the booze covered it well. Eventually I reached such a depressive state of mind I stopped paying attention to her and we split up. Now I am facing some harsh facts. I am almost over she and I splitting, I mean sometimes I miss her, but for the most part Ive adjusted to that. But I find Im lacking self confidence and I dont like myself very much. Lately I have taken to drinking a small amount here and there and I really dont want to get back to the old me, but I dont like the sober me either. I pray constantly and I am saved, but I dont "feel" Gods presence inside me. I guess I should mention that I was first saved at 15, and His presence was so thick in the room and in my heart I could almost touch him. Now I long for that feeling again and as I said I pray a lot and read the bible but it just wont come to me. In my life as much as I try to hide it I am very lonely inside, but without drinking I dont have the self confidence to even ask a woman for a date, not that there are any women where I live anyway. I know I kind of rambled here from thought to thought, but hopefully someone has some advice for me.
Thanks for reading
I met a girl and not that she asked me to change or anything but first i just stopped doing drugs, then gradually quit drinking. My problem is that after I quit i was no longer happy inside. I guess I never had been, but the booze covered it well. Eventually I reached such a depressive state of mind I stopped paying attention to her and we split up. Now I am facing some harsh facts. I am almost over she and I splitting, I mean sometimes I miss her, but for the most part Ive adjusted to that. But I find Im lacking self confidence and I dont like myself very much. Lately I have taken to drinking a small amount here and there and I really dont want to get back to the old me, but I dont like the sober me either. I pray constantly and I am saved, but I dont "feel" Gods presence inside me. I guess I should mention that I was first saved at 15, and His presence was so thick in the room and in my heart I could almost touch him. Now I long for that feeling again and as I said I pray a lot and read the bible but it just wont come to me. In my life as much as I try to hide it I am very lonely inside, but without drinking I dont have the self confidence to even ask a woman for a date, not that there are any women where I live anyway. I know I kind of rambled here from thought to thought, but hopefully someone has some advice for me.
Thanks for reading
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Boreth
Hi and welcome! Have you tried AA? It would fit well I think with your spiritual longing, it really is a wonderful way that alcoholics like us can learn how to LIVE...and that sounds like what you are looknig for. GIve it a try?
Welcome again!
Love
Cathy31
x
Hi and welcome! Have you tried AA? It would fit well I think with your spiritual longing, it really is a wonderful way that alcoholics like us can learn how to LIVE...and that sounds like what you are looknig for. GIve it a try?
Welcome again!
Love
Cathy31
x
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi and Welcome! 
That spirit filled high time was your burning bush.I think we only receive that once.
I have found a life filled with His spirit by working my AA program.
A "peace that passeth understandigng"
Keep in touch...Blessings
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