crhardin

Hi anyone who is out there, I'm in love with a man that is an alcohlic, and i don't know what to do. I'm extremely depressed. don't know who to talk to or where to turn, can anyone give me some advice?

cwohio

welcome to SR crhardin - fellow ohioan here. post your story on the friends and family section. read the stickies there. have you ever looked into al-anon? you have come to a very special place here with loads of womderful people who will share their experience, strength and hope with you. i was married to an alcoholic for almost 15 years and he recently passed away for results of the disease. we're all here to help one another!

MissT

Also a fellow Ohioan....yet, I live in CA now....speaking AS the alcoholic living with a normie...I would truely suggest you try Alanon....get some very strong spirituality going...pray a lot and start thinking of you...your life, your needs. Set some boundaries...yet be careful..us alcoholics tend to RUN if we feel controlled. Again, I would just try an Alanon meeting. I think you will find solution, love and understanding there Best of luck and my prayers are with you....and your boyfriend. :sunani

tequila_girl

As an alcoholic myself, I can only tell you to walk. If you aren't already seriously (kids, marriage, etc.) involved you can get out now. This is a battle he will wage with or without you, and it's likely you can't help him. Simply tell him you can't live like that, and if he wants to take the steps to try to start to rehabilitate, you will stick with him until 'falling off the wagon' happens over and over. It sounds so harsh and ugly, but it's sound advice.

Doug

Hi CR, welcome to SoberRecovery. This link I'm posting goes directly to our "Friends and Family" forum, which is for people like you who are trying to cope with the "A" in thier lives.

Have a look around, and ask any questions you have, you'll find your not alone. And once again, welcome.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics

Dawn10

You have had some good advice. As someone who once thought she could "change" or "cure" the alcoholic, I am here to tell you it doesn't work. If you can, consider leaving the relationship. Otherwise, it will only bring you heartache. In the meantime, go to ALANON. Lots of support. Lots of caring and LOTS of understanding. I wish I had know about ALANON way back when.
It wasn't until I entered recovery for myself ( how is that for irony) that I realized how much help it would have been for me.
Keep posting. We do care. I know this is very hard for you.

roses2005

Hang in there. The advice ive allready read seems best. Never been to alonon, but have only heard positive things. Things will only get ugly as long as you enable him. Just remember, you met him this way, and if he's not willing to change, then things will NEVER change. Good luck sweetie. Jennifer [email protected].

chriskh52

If he is serious about you and you are about him try to hang in there. I know this is hard but if what I've said is true you'll have saved a life and found a very strong soulmate. People whi have addictions are not weak, just lost and usually lonley.

shutterbug

One word....ALANON

Run as fast as you can to the nearest meeting! It'll change your life.

12345678

hey sweetness...

I know how you feel. My boyfriend is currently in rehab for alchol and cocain addiction and it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Everyday is a roller coaster ride... and my partner isn't even out of rehab. I can't trust him, I can't rely on him but I support him. It is pretty bizare. There is nothing you can do unless he realizes he has a problem. You can't make that realization for him. Alcholism is an ongoing battle for the rest of your life. It is an uncurable disease. Focus on yourself, love yourself and stay strong. Make the choice for YOU!!

I support you in this AMC

goffredo

My partner is a recovering alcoholic/addict. ALANON HAS CHANGED MY LIFE! Please go to an Alanon meeting and keep on going back: it's the best thing you can do. I can't say leave him, if you're not ready. when they used to say that to me, it was like telling the active alcoholic to stop drinking: it didn't help me. When I went to Alanon they told me not to take drastic decisions or make big changes within the first 6 months of attending the meetings. Obviously it doesn't work like that for everybody, but I am happy I listened. I have now had 6 months in Alanon and the clarity of mind I have now, the understanding of the disease of alcoholism/addiction, of my feelings of how much has impacted on me, the ability to see now that i was living in total insanity has made me understand why then I was so confused, lonely, sad, depressed and unable to take any decisions. ALANON, and more ALANON. Love, Jo