Bartender question.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: chattanooga,tn
Posts: 12
Bartender question.
why do they continue to serve these people hour after hour at the bar. I cussed one guy out because i came in and my wife could hardly walk yet as i told him he would give her another glass of wine if she asked. This whole thing is so insane.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Chatanooga,
Most states say the establishment serving the alcohol can be held liable for any harm that may occur or be done after the patron leaves the bar, if they were indeed overserved. All dining and drinking establishments teach their employees to see signs of intoxication. Sometimes the bartenders dont care, dont see it as drunk, or it slips by them.
Having said that, it is not really anyone's responsibility to keep your wife from getting drunk. Let go of the reins on this one. Nobody can control an alcoholics drinking. Its easy to want someoen to blame, the bartender in this instance. I understand. But truly, it has nothing to do with him.
Most states say the establishment serving the alcohol can be held liable for any harm that may occur or be done after the patron leaves the bar, if they were indeed overserved. All dining and drinking establishments teach their employees to see signs of intoxication. Sometimes the bartenders dont care, dont see it as drunk, or it slips by them.
Having said that, it is not really anyone's responsibility to keep your wife from getting drunk. Let go of the reins on this one. Nobody can control an alcoholics drinking. Its easy to want someoen to blame, the bartender in this instance. I understand. But truly, it has nothing to do with him.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Windy City Burbs
Posts: 101
I think about that, too. Sometimes I want to blame them, but it is my H making the choice, he would just leave that bar and go on to another and another until he found one, and he would find one. Until the something happens and the bar is held responsible it will continue. It's like ...I don't remember the phrase but weighing out the number of drunken people compared to the number of terrible circumstances that happen in which they could be held responsible (fighting, driving accident, etc) the ratio must not be very high to make them want to stop over-serving. They probably wouldn't be in business long, what A wants to go to a bar where they can't get wasted? And since we can't keep them out of the bars we just get to be angry. It sucks. One of my H's favorite haunts closes at 2:00am, but the onwers are sooooo cool that they'll let the regular ddrunks stay to as late as 6:30am before they pour them into their cars. these guys are the best!!! Please note the sarcasm. 
But welcome to SR Chatanooga, make yourself at home.
J
But welcome to SR Chatanooga, make yourself at home.
J
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Like most things - they're also individuals. My friend's partner manages a city centre pub - she does NOT serve people already drunk, actually she has a fair bit of compassion and knows a hell of a lot about people through her job. It pays her well because there are plenty of people who like drinking in a pub where there's a lot less risk of someone puking on your shoes, her sales are high.
Some do though I think because they figure if the person wants to buy they'll sell. Market forces and all that - go the west!
Some do though I think because they figure if the person wants to buy they'll sell. Market forces and all that - go the west!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: DooDooville, USA
Posts: 453
Hi Chattanooga,
Some bartenders will "cut" off drinkers at the bar that have had too much and will call a cab for them to get home.
It's rare, but it does happen. My son's a bartender and he sees the same "regulars" each night. When they've had enough, he cuts them off.
But, they can't NOT serve alcohol to someone (unless they are already smashed). That's a tough call for the bar and the bartender.
And, really, it's not the bartender's fault....as mentioned above. They work there to pour drinks for others.......that's their job. It's the person who chooses to drink and gets drunk that needs to take responsibility for him or her self.
Good luck and welcome!
Some bartenders will "cut" off drinkers at the bar that have had too much and will call a cab for them to get home.
It's rare, but it does happen. My son's a bartender and he sees the same "regulars" each night. When they've had enough, he cuts them off.
But, they can't NOT serve alcohol to someone (unless they are already smashed). That's a tough call for the bar and the bartender.
And, really, it's not the bartender's fault....as mentioned above. They work there to pour drinks for others.......that's their job. It's the person who chooses to drink and gets drunk that needs to take responsibility for him or her self.
Good luck and welcome!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: la la land
Posts: 196
I know in Florida you can leave her picture with a bardentar or every store in town that sells alcohol and they can NOT sell it to her. It's in the book that you have to read when you marry. It has something to do with the right of the spouse. I can try to find out more about it if you want.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
In Indiana where I bartended for a time at a resort, there are very strict regulations and liabilities for serving someone who is obviously intoxicated. Generally resort security was called in to handle the situation. If they didn't cooperate or became rowdy, argumentative etc, they were jailed.
True, it is the person drinking who bears the ultimate responsibility, however I would not have a problem printing out the codes for the law and liability and sending in a letter to the owners of the establishment. No body wants a lawsuit. And you do not want to have to hunt down your wife to keep her from driving and injuring or killing herself of others.
I don't think this is so much out of line. We set boundaries that they may not drink at home, in front of the children etc etc. I could set this boundary with the establishment for the protection of all.
why can't or shouldn't we use the laws enacted to protect the lives of the drinkers and innocent victims?
live
True, it is the person drinking who bears the ultimate responsibility, however I would not have a problem printing out the codes for the law and liability and sending in a letter to the owners of the establishment. No body wants a lawsuit. And you do not want to have to hunt down your wife to keep her from driving and injuring or killing herself of others.
I don't think this is so much out of line. We set boundaries that they may not drink at home, in front of the children etc etc. I could set this boundary with the establishment for the protection of all.
why can't or shouldn't we use the laws enacted to protect the lives of the drinkers and innocent victims?
live
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sussex, NJ
Posts: 1,331
Many drunks don't drink in resorts and high end bars ....... the patronize your local tavern where the bartender will serve them or they get their buddies to get them drinks.
Believe me, if a drunk wants a drink there is nothing that will stop them ..... remember what great manipulators they are and they live for that next drink.
It's easy to blame everyone else for the alcoholics behavior, but in reality it really is their decision to drink or not and no one can stop them. Even in prison they can get booze if they really want it and if it's not booze, it will be drugs.
Believe me, if a drunk wants a drink there is nothing that will stop them ..... remember what great manipulators they are and they live for that next drink.
It's easy to blame everyone else for the alcoholics behavior, but in reality it really is their decision to drink or not and no one can stop them. Even in prison they can get booze if they really want it and if it's not booze, it will be drugs.
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