I am a spouse of crack addict and alcoholic...help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: apache junction,az
Posts: 2
I am a spouse of crack addict and alcoholic...help
I Dont Know Where To Turn. My Husband Is Drug And Alcohol Addicted,
He Has Been Through Many Downs Because Of His Addictions, Over
The Years, His Main Addiction Is Crack, Recently He Went To
Outpatient Treatment For His Crack Addiction, Which Seemed To Be
Going Well, However The Whole Time He Was Going For Treatment
He Was Drinking Alcohol, I Did Not Realize This At The Time Because
He Was Also Taking Antidepressents And He Blamed His Unusual Behavior
On That, Also Alcohol Had Never Been His Drug Of Choice, I Discovered
2 Very Large Bottles Of Whiskey Hidden In His Computer Room, And Have Been Finding More And More Ever Since, But That Is Not The Worst Part Of
It, His Judgment Has Been Terrible, I Discovered He Had A Fifth Of Whiskey On Him When We Went On A Camping Trip With Our Grandchildren And He Was Driving, And He Chose To Secretley Drink At A Family Function, And Made A Complete Fool Out Of Himself, Now My Daughter Told Me I Cannot Take The Grandchildren With Us, Anymore, Please Help Me, This Has Been Too Much
For Me, It Has Been Going On 10 Yrs And I Feel This Person Will Never Recover, Do Some Addicts Never Recover? He Has Been Doing This Since He Was Around 25 And Now Is 48?
He Has Been Through Many Downs Because Of His Addictions, Over
The Years, His Main Addiction Is Crack, Recently He Went To
Outpatient Treatment For His Crack Addiction, Which Seemed To Be
Going Well, However The Whole Time He Was Going For Treatment
He Was Drinking Alcohol, I Did Not Realize This At The Time Because
He Was Also Taking Antidepressents And He Blamed His Unusual Behavior
On That, Also Alcohol Had Never Been His Drug Of Choice, I Discovered
2 Very Large Bottles Of Whiskey Hidden In His Computer Room, And Have Been Finding More And More Ever Since, But That Is Not The Worst Part Of
It, His Judgment Has Been Terrible, I Discovered He Had A Fifth Of Whiskey On Him When We Went On A Camping Trip With Our Grandchildren And He Was Driving, And He Chose To Secretley Drink At A Family Function, And Made A Complete Fool Out Of Himself, Now My Daughter Told Me I Cannot Take The Grandchildren With Us, Anymore, Please Help Me, This Has Been Too Much
For Me, It Has Been Going On 10 Yrs And I Feel This Person Will Never Recover, Do Some Addicts Never Recover? He Has Been Doing This Since He Was Around 25 And Now Is 48?
Still learning; ever grateful
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: VA
Posts: 842
Hi honey. Go onto the Friends of Alcaholics/Addicts forum. You'll meet people there who are in the same boat as you. What I CAN say, though, is that your husband has to WANT to get clean/sober, and has to act on it. Is he in AA or NA? Sounds like he needs inpatient care; not outpatient.
My prayers are w/ you. Good luck, and post on the other forum for more advice.
Hugs,
My prayers are w/ you. Good luck, and post on the other forum for more advice.
Hugs,
Only by the Grace of God....
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Gratitude and Thanks
Posts: 83
Agree with the above. I feel for you.
Don't let the grandkids around him. It's dangerous.
Re: your last question; all addicts do stop at one point or another, unfortunately some of them are 6 feet under when they finally stop.
Take a serious look at your situation. You must love him, to be there all these years. I know my wife loved me. The only way I took a very hard look at getting and staying sober at any cost, was for her to literally kick me out of my house. I was in an in-patient 30 day rehab within 4 days and it changed my life.
I would suggest checking out the womens group on this forum or the al-anon group.
Don't let the grandkids around him. It's dangerous.
Re: your last question; all addicts do stop at one point or another, unfortunately some of them are 6 feet under when they finally stop.
Take a serious look at your situation. You must love him, to be there all these years. I know my wife loved me. The only way I took a very hard look at getting and staying sober at any cost, was for her to literally kick me out of my house. I was in an in-patient 30 day rehab within 4 days and it changed my life.
I would suggest checking out the womens group on this forum or the al-anon group.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by Gr8ful1
Agree with the above. I feel for you.
Don't let the grandkids around him. It's dangerous.
Re: your last question; all addicts do stop at one point or another, unfortunately some of them are 6 feet under when they finally stop.
Take a serious look at your situation. You must love him, to be there all these years. I know my wife loved me. The only way I took a very hard look at getting and staying sober at any cost, was for her to literally kick me out of my house. I was in an in-patient 30 day rehab within 4 days and it changed my life.
I would suggest checking out the womens group on this forum or the al-anon group.
Don't let the grandkids around him. It's dangerous.
Re: your last question; all addicts do stop at one point or another, unfortunately some of them are 6 feet under when they finally stop.
Take a serious look at your situation. You must love him, to be there all these years. I know my wife loved me. The only way I took a very hard look at getting and staying sober at any cost, was for her to literally kick me out of my house. I was in an in-patient 30 day rehab within 4 days and it changed my life.
I would suggest checking out the womens group on this forum or the al-anon group.
Us alcoholics need consequences for our actions before we admit a problem. If we drink ourselves stupid for years and years, yet our family sticks with us,.....hey,...must not be a prblem. I can keep on drinkin'!!!! Tough love. Thats what we need. We need to see that ,....NO,...its NOT ok to drink ourselves into oblivion. The bad things need to happen. Part of that is that we need to know that our family WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. Let you kicking him out or you leaving be the first consequence he must face due to his drinking.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Welcome, bat. Some good advice given above. We have a brilliant nar-anon forum here, so please scroll down the main page and check it out.
Gr8ful1 and earlybird - you ever thought about checking out the Friends and Family forums yourselves? We sure could use some of your E, S & H sometimes, I think.
Gr8ful1 and earlybird - you ever thought about checking out the Friends and Family forums yourselves? We sure could use some of your E, S & H sometimes, I think.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Garden City, Missouri
Posts: 12
Hi Bat welcome to SR read and listen to the story's you will find here, there is hope in experience believe me.
I can only tell you my story, that is all I have, and I was more than willing to let someone else run my life and my affairs as long as it didn't interfere with my addictions or the ability to pursue them.
When my loved one's dropped me on my a**, refused to continue to run my life for me, and made me face my choices on my own ( like "we didn't put you in jail, so we aren't getting you out this time) my life had to change cause I was a failure at running it. Today I am very grateful to those loved ones, cause they quit doing for me.
Tough love does work, at least for me, and has continued to work for almost 5 yrs now. And yes, some don't recover till they are 6ft under, but for me those are the ones that have kept me clean and sober for this long, cause they have shown me that this disease still kills in several forms.
Take the advice offered by others, get to the Family and Friends site, go to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings, you are not alone in this, even though it may feel like that right now.
My prayers are with you and yours that you will ALL find a new better way to live.
I can only tell you my story, that is all I have, and I was more than willing to let someone else run my life and my affairs as long as it didn't interfere with my addictions or the ability to pursue them.
When my loved one's dropped me on my a**, refused to continue to run my life for me, and made me face my choices on my own ( like "we didn't put you in jail, so we aren't getting you out this time) my life had to change cause I was a failure at running it. Today I am very grateful to those loved ones, cause they quit doing for me.
Tough love does work, at least for me, and has continued to work for almost 5 yrs now. And yes, some don't recover till they are 6ft under, but for me those are the ones that have kept me clean and sober for this long, cause they have shown me that this disease still kills in several forms.
Take the advice offered by others, get to the Family and Friends site, go to Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings, you are not alone in this, even though it may feel like that right now.
My prayers are with you and yours that you will ALL find a new better way to live.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Livonia, MI
Posts: 675
Originally Posted by minnie
Welcome, bat. Some good advice given above. We have a brilliant nar-anon forum here, so please scroll down the main page and check it out.
Gr8ful1 and earlybird - you ever thought about checking out the Friends and Family forums yourselves? We sure could use some of your E, S & H sometimes, I think.
Gr8ful1 and earlybird - you ever thought about checking out the Friends and Family forums yourselves? We sure could use some of your E, S & H sometimes, I think.
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