Wake up call for me
harleygirl92156
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: IOWA
Posts: 430
Wake up call for me
The other night while attending aftercare with my husband, I had an experience that opened my eyes a lot.
One of the gentlemen that went through treatment with my husband had been missing for several weeks. We weren't concerned at first because we knew he would be out for a few weeks for work related reasons. Three weeks grew into six and I finally ask about him. Ofcourse was only told that he had been dismissed. The only way you can be dismissed from aftercare is if you go back out or miss without calling for three weeks in a row. This guy appeared to be working a very good program, appeared to have his head on straight and appeared to want sobriety very badly. I was devestated!
A couple days prior to aftercare hubby and I had an arguement and we had been on edge for several days bickering and just not getting along the best. I was very much on edge and not being open to anything when we arrived at aftercare. When I heard the news about my group member being dismissed from the program, I was devestated and it hit me that I had a lot more to be grateful for that I was realizing. I took a quick inventory of what I had to be grateful for in my relationship and my attitude did a complete turn around. The argument seemed trivial and silly.
I know my husband thinks he brought one woman to aftercare and took a different one home. My attitude was transformed from crabby and out of sorts to hopeful and loving.
I feel so bad for the gentleman and his family, but isn't it amazing how my God gives me the things I need when I need them so I can clearly see the path he intends for me to take.
He allowed me to see, when I needed to see it most, that I have a lot to be grateful for and that I need to look at the positive more often, because the negative I could have could be so much worse.
I am grateful today for a husband who cared enough about me and himself to go through the HARD work to gain his sobriety and keep it. I am grateful we are together and trying to work on our relationship instead of throwing it away simply because that would be easier. I am grateful it is friday too!!!
One of the gentlemen that went through treatment with my husband had been missing for several weeks. We weren't concerned at first because we knew he would be out for a few weeks for work related reasons. Three weeks grew into six and I finally ask about him. Ofcourse was only told that he had been dismissed. The only way you can be dismissed from aftercare is if you go back out or miss without calling for three weeks in a row. This guy appeared to be working a very good program, appeared to have his head on straight and appeared to want sobriety very badly. I was devestated!
A couple days prior to aftercare hubby and I had an arguement and we had been on edge for several days bickering and just not getting along the best. I was very much on edge and not being open to anything when we arrived at aftercare. When I heard the news about my group member being dismissed from the program, I was devestated and it hit me that I had a lot more to be grateful for that I was realizing. I took a quick inventory of what I had to be grateful for in my relationship and my attitude did a complete turn around. The argument seemed trivial and silly.
I know my husband thinks he brought one woman to aftercare and took a different one home. My attitude was transformed from crabby and out of sorts to hopeful and loving.
I feel so bad for the gentleman and his family, but isn't it amazing how my God gives me the things I need when I need them so I can clearly see the path he intends for me to take.
He allowed me to see, when I needed to see it most, that I have a lot to be grateful for and that I need to look at the positive more often, because the negative I could have could be so much worse.
I am grateful today for a husband who cared enough about me and himself to go through the HARD work to gain his sobriety and keep it. I am grateful we are together and trying to work on our relationship instead of throwing it away simply because that would be easier. I am grateful it is friday too!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
wow - thanks for sharing that story. we are sometimes blind to messages that God is putting out there for us, but you have come a long way and are now seeing with new eyes. it's wonderful to hear that you are both still working on your recovery and marriage.
Getting busy living!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Worcester MA
Posts: 199
Very nice story, I thank you too for sharing it. Sort of demonstrates why I repeat something in my head many times a day, every day. "There but for the grace of God go I". Best of luck to you and your husband on continued recovery for you both. May my husband and I someday feel the joys and triumphs of recovery.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
HG
Thanks for that post. When my ex John was in aftercare, I would go with on family nights. I had a chance to meet several others that also attended. I remember those feelings I felt when someone in the group failed to show or completely dropped out. I never thought about it the way you described it. I guess I just knew down inside John would never follow through. He is still drinking inspite of countless hospitalizations and programs, most recently 2 weeks ago. I am happy for you and your H, you both really give hope that recovery can be achieved if you really want it.
Thanks for that post. When my ex John was in aftercare, I would go with on family nights. I had a chance to meet several others that also attended. I remember those feelings I felt when someone in the group failed to show or completely dropped out. I never thought about it the way you described it. I guess I just knew down inside John would never follow through. He is still drinking inspite of countless hospitalizations and programs, most recently 2 weeks ago. I am happy for you and your H, you both really give hope that recovery can be achieved if you really want it.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Harley...I often find that when I am feeling out of patience or short with Ward it is about me, not him. When I take the time to feel grateful for all that I have it always makes the sun shine a little brighter.
Sometimes when I am stuck or times are paticularly hard I will begin each day with a gratitude list. It helps!
Sometimes when I am stuck or times are paticularly hard I will begin each day with a gratitude list. It helps!
harleygirl92156
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: IOWA
Posts: 430
Today, feeling out of sorts again.......what a roller coaster ride.....working to get back on the track......at least the good thing now is that I can SEE IT and work to do something about it rather than wallow in it. Grateful as heck about that!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Litterbox City
Posts: 5,691
at least the good thing now is that I can SEE IT and work to do something about it rather than wallow in it.
thanks for sharing!
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