How do you know if you have a drinking problem?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 24
How do you know if you have a drinking problem?
How do you know if drinking is a problem? I am not a drinker and I do not mind people drinking, but when they drink too much it is not fun to be around them. One of my friends always likes to drink and I think he drinks to fast and too many even though it is not daily. He says he does not have a problem with it. If you don't have a problem with it how do you know? What is it that tells you when someone might need help? Am I making any since? Can anyone explain it to me please?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: DooDooville, USA
Posts: 453
Hi KRK,
I'm a RA of 11 yrs and I drank daily for almost 10 years.
There are different kinds of alcoholics. There are the kind that can go for months without drinking and then go on a week binge of nothing but booze.
There are the type where they can drink, even every night and still get up in the morning and go to work and function with no problems ("functioning alcoholic")
And, then there are the A's that drink everyday to get a "buzz".
When I drank every day, that's all I thought about at work all day long and couldnt' wait to get home to start drinking. I would pour a tall glass of wine and then chug the first glass and the second.
Within 20 minutes, I had my buzz going and would just sip the wine the rest of the night. Rarely did I get falling down drunk. I wouldn't eat dinner because that would just kill my high.
If he doesn't think he has a problem with it, then ask him if he felt he could stop cold turkey today and not drink anymore. That's when the truth comes out. He'll either say something like "that's stupid. I don't have a problem so I can drink whenever I want to" or he'll go a couple of days and then drink.
Also, A's personalities change when they're drunk. They can be sweet and nice and then turn angry or vice versa. The Jeckyl Hyde thing.
Good luck and keep posting
((hugs))
I'm a RA of 11 yrs and I drank daily for almost 10 years.
There are different kinds of alcoholics. There are the kind that can go for months without drinking and then go on a week binge of nothing but booze.
There are the type where they can drink, even every night and still get up in the morning and go to work and function with no problems ("functioning alcoholic")
And, then there are the A's that drink everyday to get a "buzz".
When I drank every day, that's all I thought about at work all day long and couldnt' wait to get home to start drinking. I would pour a tall glass of wine and then chug the first glass and the second.
Within 20 minutes, I had my buzz going and would just sip the wine the rest of the night. Rarely did I get falling down drunk. I wouldn't eat dinner because that would just kill my high.
If he doesn't think he has a problem with it, then ask him if he felt he could stop cold turkey today and not drink anymore. That's when the truth comes out. He'll either say something like "that's stupid. I don't have a problem so I can drink whenever I want to" or he'll go a couple of days and then drink.
Also, A's personalities change when they're drunk. They can be sweet and nice and then turn angry or vice versa. The Jeckyl Hyde thing.
Good luck and keep posting
((hugs))
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Hi KRK,
Around us AL-Anons we have a saying;
If it walks like a duck,
acts like a duck,
and talks like a duck,
It's probably a duck. (There's a whole lot of quacking going on around here LOL)
Most importantly I have to ask you does his drinking bother you, how much does it bother you to be around when he is drinking, and do you want to change him in any way? Has his drinking ever gotten him into trouble with the law. Does his good times seem to revolve around having drinks availiable?
If the answer to any of these answers is yes. Please do a whole lot of reading about the family disease of alcoholism. Try some Al-Anon meetings and some open A.A. meetings, just to see if you want this relationship/friendship to go any further.
I thought I'd crossed all my T's and dotted all my I's by testing the waters to see just how my spouse acted when drunk. I was never going to marry a drunk like my father. Well, he was such a happy fellow when drinking and didn't do it but maybe once a year that I felt safe and secure until about 15 years ago. He started drinking daily and through he still was a happy fellow, hard working, honest, kind, and we never went without, his drinking to that degree begin to really get to me. I am so grateful I had several years of Al-Anon recovery work to see me through those drinking years.
I truly hope the drinking years are gone but I still attend Al-Anon so I still have the tools I need to live my life.
I know my life today would have been terribly different without the meetings, literature, my home group and my sponsor.
Hope that helps some.
Around us AL-Anons we have a saying;
If it walks like a duck,
acts like a duck,
and talks like a duck,
It's probably a duck. (There's a whole lot of quacking going on around here LOL)
Most importantly I have to ask you does his drinking bother you, how much does it bother you to be around when he is drinking, and do you want to change him in any way? Has his drinking ever gotten him into trouble with the law. Does his good times seem to revolve around having drinks availiable?
If the answer to any of these answers is yes. Please do a whole lot of reading about the family disease of alcoholism. Try some Al-Anon meetings and some open A.A. meetings, just to see if you want this relationship/friendship to go any further.
I thought I'd crossed all my T's and dotted all my I's by testing the waters to see just how my spouse acted when drunk. I was never going to marry a drunk like my father. Well, he was such a happy fellow when drinking and didn't do it but maybe once a year that I felt safe and secure until about 15 years ago. He started drinking daily and through he still was a happy fellow, hard working, honest, kind, and we never went without, his drinking to that degree begin to really get to me. I am so grateful I had several years of Al-Anon recovery work to see me through those drinking years.
I truly hope the drinking years are gone but I still attend Al-Anon so I still have the tools I need to live my life.
I know my life today would have been terribly different without the meetings, literature, my home group and my sponsor.
Hope that helps some.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
You have a drinking problem... They drink and you are allowing it to become your problem.
You can't stop them. Till they are ready to accept the truth and they know the truth, they will continue drinking.
You can let them know how you feel but if you keep pushing, it will look to them like you are being bossy, not helpful.
Set boundaries for yourself. If their drinking bothers you... don't have them around you if they are drinking. You can't stop it but you can control your own space.
You can't stop them. Till they are ready to accept the truth and they know the truth, they will continue drinking.
You can let them know how you feel but if you keep pushing, it will look to them like you are being bossy, not helpful.
Set boundaries for yourself. If their drinking bothers you... don't have them around you if they are drinking. You can't stop it but you can control your own space.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by meli2005
There are some tests online you can take to see if you have a problem with drinking. If he thinks he has a problem, then most likely he does.
Good luck to you and your friend.
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