doit

Here is a question for you. I haven't had a drink for 10 months but I still want to get the support that I can get from an AA meeting. I live in a small town, 26000 people, and they have weekly meeting here. The thing is, I a sure that if I go to a local meeting I am almost sure to know someone. I have read on the AA site that that is OK, they are there for the same reason as you, but I can easily avoid it by driving to the next town, just 20 minutes away, whereit is unlikely that I will know anyone. So the question is; which is better? Are there advantages to finding someone you know in the same situation as yourself or should it be avoided if possible?

Dan

Hi doit, and welcome to SoberRecovery.
One of the cornerstones of the program we find in AA, as I understand it, is being able to relate to others like us. Fellowship. Identification amongst our peers. It may be that for some people, this is actually made easier when they already know someone in the rooms.
On the other hand, for some, the process of integrating themselves in a group comes in a different way, starting with a clean slate, so to speak, with no acquaintances.
It's really entirely up to you.

Oh, and don't be surprised if you spot someone from your town at the meeting twenty minutes away
Just another sign that a lot of us think alike.

Kellye C

I do drive to a group outside of my town but it's only like 7 - 10 min further because in the beginning I didn't want to attend in my town because I was ashamed of what I had become. So I went to this other group where I knew one and they have quickly become my second family. Today I would not hesitate to walk into the one in my town because I am comfortable with who and what I am. It is up to you. You can always try both and see where you feel most comfortable. There is nothing that says you can only attend one group. It is important for you to establish a home group and allow them to know you because a lot of times they can spot problems before you can and can bring them to your attention.

I go to my home group on Mon, Tues, Wed and usually Thursday. I am in a different part of town on the weekends so I go with my SO to meetings at one of several places on the weekends. Let me tell you, by the time Monday evening rolls around I can't WAIT to get back to my home group! I actually miss them! Doesn't mean I don't like the other meetings, I've just allowed myself to become close to the home group.

Anyway, the choice is yours. I don't think it matters at this point which meeting you choose as long as you choose one. You will be amazed at what a powerful source you have plugged into once you get in there and get active. Kinda like here!

Hugs,
Kellye

Luckyv2

My question is this, Why are you worried about someone seeing you at an AA meeting they knew that you were drinking when you were drinking, we never fooled anyone except for ourselves. I don't care who knows I am not ashamed of my disease, I would be more ashamed knowing that I had it and not doing anything about it.. I am grateful and happy to be a part of society and AA and NA has given me that.

Love Vic

doit

Hi Vic

I am not worried about seeing a friend at a meeting. In fact that would be good in a way. Actually, I am not really worried about seeing anyone I know, my question was prompted by a thought that it might be easier to be completely open an honest in a room full of strangers. I think I will go to my local one and just take it from there.

CarolD

Good idea! The point is to go....Blessings...

roadie58

When I first started in AA, I drove 30 minutes to meetings in another town. Guess who I saw? People from my own town who all had the same idea! It also seems like there are fewer meetings in smaller towns, so in order to get one meeting per day it was almost necessary to travel to other towns to find a meeting.

I wasn't really worried about anonymity too much, most folks around here take AA pretty seriously, except those ordered there by the court system, but they weren't in any position to make trouble for me.

Michael

lulu70

Sounds like a plan. If you find you are having trouble being open and honest, then you can try the other town for meetings. If you really want it, though, I don't think you will have trouble.

Hugs--

tink360

in my opinion because you are doing this for yourself and for your recovery i would advice merely doing what makes YOU more comftorable...which situation would help YOU be honest and open up...try a few things out and find out what works best for you and then do that....

Luckyv2

I wasn't emplying that you were trying to hide from anyone but you said that you will know someone if you go where you live LOL That is all I was pointing out maybe miss understood but that is OK..Do whatever you feel comfortable doing, that is what all of us have to do..

Love Vic

roadie58

My old college roommate staggered into a meeting once. It's been a blessing and a curse watching him struggle with these addictions. On one hand, it's neat having a history with other people in the program, but it's tough if they fail. I've been told by Sponsor not to hang with this guy outside of meetings because we trip down memory lane which could lead me to relapse.

So I'd say finding people you know from outside , Inside the meeting rooms is neither something to seek out or avoid. If God puts you with someone you know already, just deal with it then, but do be careful.

OOBATZ

Question for anyone:
I have had a substance abuse problem off and on most of my life and know the ups and downs, but my roommate is seeing my problem and their own abuse coming to the surface and we wish to tackle them together...here is the ?
I have investigated many of the 'meeting locations' here in my city and although I have been to meetings in my lifetime they have not. The meetings all seem to focus on a 'specific' citeria; Open discussion, Big Book, Closed, etc...I have noticed the 'beginners' meetings are less frequent and time slots aren't good. Is it o.k. to attend an 'open discussion & Big Book' meeting when you haven't been to a meeting in a very long time and with a newbie?

ASH

Hi Doit, Welcome, Congrats on 10 months, WOW you are doing something right! I think everyone said it, go where you feel comfortable.

Hi OOBATZ, Welcome to you also!! I think as you have read all the messages to Doit, basically go where you are comfortable. For me, the most important thing was always the time and then the location. I have never been to a beginners meeting, never noticed one in my local book of meetings. Every meeting I have been to gives newcomers the opportunity to introduce themselves, but this is not a requirement, the only requirement I know of is a desire to stop drinking.
The most important thing about meetings is just to go!

Hope to see more of both of you here at SR!!

OOBATZ

Thanks ASH...I will go to ANY meeting then, I just know that it is time for me to go back! I am looking forward to the postings and being able to discuss issues with people who understand...it really does help significantly. I will keep everyone posted on the progress.

livenletlive

Couldn't hurt to go to all the meetings you can. If you make a new friend all the better. If you know someone, great. There is no shame in getting help for yourself. Chances are the person you know is serious about getting sober and will become a closer friend of yours.

roadie58

oobatz, anyone who has a desire to not drink is welcome to any meeting. I recommend a lot of variety for a newcomer. Speaker meetings might be good because there's no pressure to share. Big Book also good, cos that's what we're about. Check em all out!

OOBATZ

I dont understand Roadie58...What is a 'speaker' meeting?