sparrow

Hey Lacee and Hangin-in I wnted to thank you for responding to my post about the holidays and letting go. You made a good point Lacee about my daughter hving to spread her wings. I cn see tht she hs made some progress in growing up and it's progress she probably wouldn't hv made if she still lived at home.
You knw we as Mom's sometimes cushion their fall when we shouldn't, which is not to say tht even though she doesn't live here I hv still soften the consequences at times for her. I'm working on tht and hope tht in the new year I will be able to be stronger about really letting go, someone once said on these boards tht we help the most when we help the least, and I think tht in many ways this is true I also think they as they get older they still need a mother but they need less "mothering" I'm working on tht one too! Lacee I read anthr post of yours about being tired and I've been feeling tht too and I think it's because
we are in a growth phase and also going through tht growth phase during an emotionally ladden time (the Holidays) tht accounts for much of this worn out feeling. I hv hd to push myself to action and when I do I usually feel better doesn't hv to be big things either you knw we cn give ourselves a little extra kindness as we would a friend who is going thru a rough time and give ourselves credit for doing the little things in life when the little things look impossible Baby Steps! Hangin-in your right we do hv a lot in common When my daugher ws here she did alot of wht your daughter does with the hating you one day and gratitude the next I am well familiar with the resentment feelings she expressed to me, the anger-seems to be a card they play alot so I knw how your feeling. Now tht she is on her own sort of speak our relationship hs improved somewht there is something to be said for hving some physical space between us It did help me to work on the detachment from the disease easier then if we still lived together It also allowed me to see how centered we all were around her life ,her actions, and for tht I am grateful bec it reminded me tht I am a person too I count for something as well I hv spent so many years living in her life tht I forgot about mine.
Now I'm not saying Tht I regret all the time I invested in trying to help her find her way back to a sober life bec it allows me to knw say tht I hv done all I cn the rest is up to her. ( I cn do this on most days but there are times tht I slip and tht's when I cme to my friends on this board who encourage me with their words of wisdom and caring thoughts. Oh and about tht table where mothers can resign... there really is one, it's just tht the lines are always so long tht most mothers just give up and sign up at the enlistment table for one more year! Now about those gift baskets lets all put our heads together and decide wht we would wnt in our holiday baskets to keep us from become "basket cases" Love and Happy Holidays to all ---Sparrow

Ann

Sparrow

Great idea - Gift baskets.

Okay here's what I would like in mine

-Everything Melody Beattie ever wrote, The AA Big Book, a Bible, and some candles and music to use when I am reading.

-Great bubble bath, bath salts, and a deep deep tub.

-Patience, Courage and Strength - I get these everyday right here but I could always use an emergency supply. Wrapped in Hugs.

-Jujubes - they keep my mouth busy when bad words are trying to sneak through.

Okay, who's next?

JT

Oh, my gift basket!!

Books of course...and you all know I am puckered from my baths...so bath products are a must.

Ben and Jerry's would melt so I would settle for some really decadent chocolates that I could hide in my sock drawer so no one else would find them.

I would like some inspiring momento's, poems and sayings to mount in my computer room and an album to put the overflow into. It could be my own personal recovery/inspiration book.

Anyone who knows about my bathroom knows that I am all into environment...I love to surround myself with things that touch me.

Hugs,
JT