Bride of Lion, "Hello to all!"
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cambridge, MA
Posts: 3
Bride of Lion, "Hello to all!"
Hello all,
I just got married on Halloween to the most amazing man I have ever met. He is an alcoholic/has alcoholism. He also has PTSD from 911, and has trouble with anxiety. He does well with me, but has blackouts at night when he is away and that is when he drinks. Due to difficult circumstances we are not able to live together yet. He lives with family, and it is very hard to be separate from him in part because I know he ends up drinking. When I am with him it doesn't seem to be an issue, in part because we have an incredibly calming effect on one another, and in part because I do not have any alcohol around.
I signed up here to look for friendly advice and conversation with others who know what we are living with.
My past experiences with alcoholism:
Was with another man with PTSD from military experiences, who was a "functional" alcoholic. He was verbally/emotionally/mentally abusive, and I was close to suicide because it was so horrible.
My brother, mother, and father drink too much, particularly my brother who drinks most of the time he is not at work, and occasionally at work. He does not display the qualities of a "drunk" so he does not feel it is a problem, and in fact jokes often about his drinking, as does his social circle who also drinks quite a bit.
A few people on my fathers side of the family who I didn't know very well died from alcoholism, including my fathers biological father.
So that was quite the lengthy intro! I hope to share more positive things about myself in the future, but I've gotta be off to my class!
Sincerely,
brideoflion
I just got married on Halloween to the most amazing man I have ever met. He is an alcoholic/has alcoholism. He also has PTSD from 911, and has trouble with anxiety. He does well with me, but has blackouts at night when he is away and that is when he drinks. Due to difficult circumstances we are not able to live together yet. He lives with family, and it is very hard to be separate from him in part because I know he ends up drinking. When I am with him it doesn't seem to be an issue, in part because we have an incredibly calming effect on one another, and in part because I do not have any alcohol around.
I signed up here to look for friendly advice and conversation with others who know what we are living with.
My past experiences with alcoholism:
Was with another man with PTSD from military experiences, who was a "functional" alcoholic. He was verbally/emotionally/mentally abusive, and I was close to suicide because it was so horrible.
My brother, mother, and father drink too much, particularly my brother who drinks most of the time he is not at work, and occasionally at work. He does not display the qualities of a "drunk" so he does not feel it is a problem, and in fact jokes often about his drinking, as does his social circle who also drinks quite a bit.
A few people on my fathers side of the family who I didn't know very well died from alcoholism, including my fathers biological father.
So that was quite the lengthy intro! I hope to share more positive things about myself in the future, but I've gotta be off to my class!
Sincerely,
brideoflion
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Hi Bride,
Welcome to SR.
You'll find lots of support here. If you like, you might also check out the Friends and Family Forum which you can find by scrolling down on the main page.
Welcome to SR.
You'll find lots of support here. If you like, you might also check out the Friends and Family Forum which you can find by scrolling down on the main page.
Gobble, Gobble
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: california
Posts: 236
Welcome brideoflion
You have certainly found the right place to get support, understanding and knowledge. I wish you the best of luck with your marriage. It certainly seems to have a bit of a rocky foundation but if you and your husband are strong enough, you can 'stablize' anything.
Have you considered staying apart from the other alcoholics in your life and just concentrate on your husband? Does he want to quit?
Whatever you do (and I am telling you this due to the info you posted) please do not loose yourself and your own self esteem. You have to be a very strong person in a relationship like this. Take care of yourself first and for most. Then help him take care of himself.
HUGS! And again, welcome to SR!
Have you considered staying apart from the other alcoholics in your life and just concentrate on your husband? Does he want to quit?
Whatever you do (and I am telling you this due to the info you posted) please do not loose yourself and your own self esteem. You have to be a very strong person in a relationship like this. Take care of yourself first and for most. Then help him take care of himself.
HUGS! And again, welcome to SR!
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