Joelby

I finally signed myself up for treatment today after way too many years of alcoholism. I've spent my entire day crying and on the web trying to figure out how to get through tonight. My appt. for rehab is not until Thurs. I'm doing my best. I sent an email to all of my close family and friends to tell them of my decision and feel much relief. I know they walked on eggshells for years. I guess it's just one minute at a time.

Jhana

Joelby!!! Congratulations on a lot of courage. Hang in here on SR; there are people on 24/7 from all over the world, and we all share this problem. Together we make each day count and by sticking with people who are trying just like you your journey will be not one of agony, but of newfound growth and strength.

You are SO WELCOME HERE,

Hugs,
Gianna

Joelby

Thank you for that. I feel so alone and ashamed. I feel like everyone that has ever loved me is going to walk away from me. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and never leave.

gurujake

Welcome Joelby!

Many of us have felt exactly what you are feeling today and through the grace of God, things are much better today. Isolation in early sobriety is not a good idea. Coming to SR and participating in the forums is a great first step so you can see that you are truly not alone. Have you been to a AA meeting yet? Most likely, in treatment you will be exposed to AA and it's literature. I would recommend going to meeting before you enter treatment and picking up a book called Alcoholics Anonymous. I could relate so much to many of the stories in the book and it again made me feel less alone and not so crazy.

Welcome again and stick around here. A lot of people are successfully working here to stay sober one day at a time.

Jake

Joelby

I'm in the process of trying to find a meeting in the area. This is helping a lot. I'm all alone right now. My mother is an alcoholic as well and when I sent my email to friends and family I asked them to give me a day to process all of this. I started keeping journal today which is helping. It's just that for the first time in my life there is no way to numb the pain.

Anna

Hi Joelby,

It sounds like you've made a great decision and are doing well! I think keeping a journal is a great idea. It really helped me work through a lot of the guilt and shame that I felt. (It was an idea from a fellow SR person!). And not numbing the pain is the beginning of the journey out of it.

Joelby

I guess at this point I don't share your view. I feel like I'm never going to feel better. I'm not trying to be a victim, just be honest with myself about what I'm actually feeling. I haven't really FELT anything for a long time!

Dan

Hi Joel, and welcome
Here's a bunch of links and phone numbers for you...
http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/...Office/wi.html
And a google map with addresses near you... Just click the links on the left.
http://www.google.com/local?hl=en&lr...sa=X&oi=localr

Glad you're here.

Phinneas

Yup, that's part of the process. But I tell you what (from someone who has been there), if you don't drink or use - no matter what - it will get better. Those feelings, good, but mostly bad and ugly awaken and it can be a rollar coaster. But feeling miserable, lack of sleep... all that stuff, won't kill you. And you WILL get through it. Just do whatever you have to do to hang on. For right now, that's all that matters.

Hugs,

phinny

Joelby

Thank you for all of the support. I pray I am as strong at staying sober as I was at drinking! I will continue to us SR, I'm amazed that there are so many out there that are going through this too!

Dan

You're not alone anymore.
You never were, really

mchockfan

Joelby, none of us got to the bottom in one day, and none of us will get to the top in one day either. With God's help we can climb back out faster than we fell. The hurt you are feeling now is well worth the years of pain and humiliation you will avoid by being sober. I just wish I learned sooner than I did.

There are so many good people here and at the tables. They all want to help, if we just let them. You're making the first step, it may be the hardest, but it's the best.

Love and Peace to you and yours, Arn

jmhs002

Welcome!
It gets better. I have been where you are at. You can do this.
JMHS

Joelby

Thank you, I know I am an alcoholic, I know what denial does, but somehow I'm beginning to have this feeling of surrealism. Like this is not real...is this normal?

mchockfan

Yep

nogard

Welcome to SR

Joelby

wow Australia. I've always wanted to go there. Maybe I will treat myself to a trip on my one year sobriety anniversary!

susane1408

Just need to give you a hug (((((Joelby))))) please stay close to SR while you wait for
Thursday and I hope you can make some meetings too.
My guy is into his 4th month of recovery and I know how much he needs support.
You will get lots of support from the people here.

Joelby

Thank you! I can't believe how much support I feel I've got. It doesn't make it easier, but it sure helps keeping my attitude positive!

skinner

Hey Joelby........welcome to SR!! Just stick around here and keep reading and posting. You'll be amazed at the info and support. I'm glad you are here with us!!