twice is nice

Hey everyone. This board has been really helpful the past few weeks. My husband got out of detox (for the 2nd time in 3 months) three nights ago and has been drunk every night since! I just don't get it. He lost his driving privileges (has a company car) and was told today he had to attend an outpatient program every night for 3 hours. He was actually mad about that!! I told him he's lucky they're giving him a chance. Anyways, I've been taking my time making decisions, doing a lot of praying and hoping that my answers will come in my HP's time. I can say I'm about a hair away from hiring an attorney. I can't figure out why I'm still here?? I guess I want to know that I gave him every possible chance to get sober. I don't know. He has debts accumulating because he just doesn' t even care to open his mail anymore. I'm taking care of all the bills in my name but letting him face the consequences for himself. Does anyone know if we split up can I be held responsible for his stuff because we were married? That really concerns me as I have two infants to support and dont' want to end up in major debt. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks

Kingpreachman

I am praying for you to understand that you can not save a man from himself. The ship is going down, don't go down with it. And Yes, may have to pay some bills that my be his bills that depend on creditors who don't care about your problem; they just want to get their money back. I pray that he get his self together soon before it's too late and don't you be a fool either. Bless you:okay:

Hangin' In

Twice,
I'll has my lawyer tomorrow re your bill situation and post his answer for you. Hang in there.

Hugs.

smoke gets in my eyes

Hi Twice.

Laws vary by state. Please get legal advice from a lawyer practicing where you live. I got the feeling from one of your posts that you were leaving these bills alone more because you feared enabling your husband than because it wasn't possible to pay them. If you find out that this is going to affect you, forget the enabling boogeyman and do what it takes to keep yourself out of hot water.


Hugs!
Smoke

Laceejoe

Hi, twiceisnice!! I can't even begin to tell you how much my heart goes out to you and those babies. I know that this is a difficult time of the year to make decisions, but I agree with some of the others---that this man is going down. He doesn't appear to want to get the help he needs, so apparently he has not hit his bottom. I know that you are trying to give him every chance, but you are suffering so much in the meantime. Enabling is so enmeshed in our lives, and it is so difficult to break free---but for you and the kids, it may be time. Only you know when you have reached your breaking point, though---and I would never want to sway you in any direction. I just worry that you will do what I did---stay with a man who never wanted to change (or thought he had anything to change!!). He wasn't an alcoholic, but had psychological problems that he wouldn't admit to---and I believe that the effects are the same. I stayed in that marriage for 20 years---hoping that I could change it somehow. Well, to make it short---nothing worked. I wasn't his Savior----and my kids and I lost so much of ourselves in the meantime. I was raised in a family that didn't believe in divorce and hid all the physical and emotional abuse from everyone. My daughters and I still carry the scars from all that---and always will. I would hate for you and your kids to get caught up in a lengthy mess like I did. If your husband can't see what he is doing to you and your family---then he most likely is deeply embedded in his addiction, and I've found with my daughter and others who are addicts---that they tend to be BLIND to what's happening in others lives. It's sad, but true nonetheless. Please try to take you and the kids out of that situation---you deserve so much more than you are letting yourself have. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Please take care and pray for the strength to do what you know you need to do. God bless!!