eeko

I am considering starting a relationship with a woman who is a recovering alchoholic and recovering drug addict. I need to know what I am getting into before I start. I have never had a problem myself with drugs or alchohol so I don't know if I could handle being with someone who is recovering. I understand this would be a lifelong task on her part. What are the social aspects? How does one go out with an alchoholic? Do we need to stay away from places where it is served?

Laceejoe

Just wanted to tell you, eeko, that you've come to the right place. You'll learn so much more than you ever thought possible here. These wonderful people have been a life-saver for me personally---and I so look forward to reading and posting daily. I know that you are skeptical about starting a relationship with a recovering alcoholic/addict---and it wouldn't be normal if you weren't. I think the key-word here is "recovering". I'm assuming that this lady has been to rehab and probably AA?? If she has, eeko, and she really is working the Steps---then she has the tools she needs to live her life free of the drugs and alcohol. I'm not sure if you've ever considered going to an Alanon meeting before you get too involved. It may make sense in your case to help you understand a little better what the dynamics of addiction are. I'm sure that many will post here with tidbits of info that will help. I wish you all the best!! Keep coming back!!! LACEE

babysteps

Welcome!

My first thought was, how long has she been in recovery? It is suggested to them not to start a relationship in the first year of recovery. My husband is newly recovered, so things are still very topsy turvy here. But I have a brother-in-law who has 21 years clean and sober, and he's the most wonderful, caring person you could imagine.

Does she attend meeting regularly? Those can eat a lot of time, but are So important to someone recovering. As far as socializing, from what I've seen, this can depend on the person, and also their length of recovery time. Right now my husband can't even go into an Applebee's or such, because of the bar that's there. Maybe this will change in time, maybe it won't, but it's very worth it to me for him to remaiin sober.

Laceejoe

Just wanted to add to what babysteps said. My daughter is unable to go to restaurants or anywhere that serves alcohol. She won't even go to her sister's at Christmas because she knows there will be alcohol there. She's done well since she got out of rehab---and seems to want to stay away from people, places and things. I guess that is the most important thing---knowing where your weaknesses lie. She finds that attending even more than one meeting daily has been a help also. She still states that she has cravings and has been having some bad dreams of late---but is fighting it hard. Best of luck to you.

RedAPBT

Welcome eeko!

I would also ask how long this person has been in recovery... as for where to go and what to avoid... that is up to the individual and where they are in there recovery.

"The Boy" is ok in restaurants but we do not go to bars - if we are out wth friends, they will not order alcohol out of respect - but he is ok if they do...

Welcome again to the forum...